I am the mom of a 17 year old girl and at my wits end. We fight constantly (who doesnt right) she was diagnosed when she was about 5 with add, I never medicated her, she spent her younger school years on an IEP awaiting testing through the school...that never came. She has always had a bit of trouble in school with grades. She is a very loving teen and always has been, but she also has this tendancy to fly off the handle. Ever since she was about 12 things started to go down hill. She feels unloved, has always appeared jealous of her sister, this caused many fights and screaming matches in our house...between her and her sister and her and us. She always said she hated her sister and when she moves out things will be fine...Her sister has now moved out and now she hates us (although she has always said she hates us...she just blamed her sister and said we always take her side) She now blames my husband (together for 8 years) for our relationship falling apart. She says we love our 2 children more than her and we never include her.
We have spent over a year dealing with councellors at mental health and are now awaiting an appointment with a pychiatrist...which isnt until Jan. she has told me she has thought about sucide before because she feels no one loves her.
When we arguments she will fly off the handle get sent to her room, then come back 10 min later sit down on the couch like nothing happened. I tell her to go back to her room and she says no I didnt do anything wrong in a calm voice after we just had a huge screaming match.
She is on an antidepressant because she is a bedwetter and this stops her from wetting at night. She has terrible anxiety and the dr wont/cant medicate her because of the specific antideppressant she takes. She told me before she wont drink because she is afraid of dying, although she has said she has thought about sucide. My husband and I went camping for a weekend and she thought we said we would be home at noon (which we didnt) when we were not home by 4pm she called a few family members in hysterics saying she though we were dead. she constantly is thinking she has a brain tummor and has asked for an MRI. She has freaked out over many health issues and insists on going to the dr and acts like she is dying.
She has never been able to sleep properly but when she does she goes into a deep sleep. She has been on meletonin for years although it doesnt seem to help her she has a very hard time falling asleep.
The thing is she is not a bad teenager never gotten into any trouble, but she is terrible to live with. She is like night and day...she is either the most loving sweet girl, very helpful trying to please...or she goes into B**** mode and flys off the handle at everything, she says I am too controling and dont let her live her life, but yet she cant not even phone and make a drs appoinment for herself she feels its my "job" she at 17 is unusually attatched to us and spends way too much time with us (not that we dont love her, it just seems weird that she never just goes out)
I am at my wits end...I love her but I cant live with her any longer
we had a terrible fight last night and I have told her if she wont follow our rules she can not stay here...I made her leave last night after a huge fight and my husband drove her to his sisters (after wandering outside in our yard and said she was going to sleep in the camper because she had nowhere to stay) then she messaged me asking if we were going to talk today or did she need to come get some clothes...like it didnt even happen.
I feel this is not normal teenage behaviour...I fought with my older daughter but never to this extent (and this has been going on for about 5 years) and my older daughter was always able to "look after" herself. It seems like there is more to this and I wish I didnt have to wait 2 months for her appointment :
It doesn't sound like your councellors have been of much help. It seems she's never dealt with the "new" family well and feels unloved and insecure. Divorces and new marriages affect everyone differently and she doesn't seem to have coped very well. Let her know that you love her no matter what and try not to have the screaming arguments with her. I hope it goes well with the next appointment. God Bless!
