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Old 01-05-2011, 11:25 PM   #1
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DepressionSux87 HB User
Unhappy Bipolar boyfriend wants his space, not breaking up with me

So I have been dating this wonderful man for the last 4 1/2 months, I'm his longest relationship and recently since the beginning of december I've been in a major funk. (I am diagnosed with depression). I take medication everyday however i feel like its not doing anything.

I feel alone, I'm out of college, doing nothing working at a dead end job trying to find a job and i feel worthless. the other night when i slept over his house i woke up in the morning crying. i feel thi constant hole in my chest, it hurts and painful and i feel so lonely, and worthless. it's hard enough on my own to deal with this but to date someone who has similar problems, its harder. Recently he's been very withdrawn, not touchy feely, barely initiates sex, has become very quiet and i feel like he's been distant. The last time i saw him was saturday before i left for work, i kissed him goodbye.

I gave him some space for a few days and i texted him monday saying i missed him and i love him and im worried about him. he sent me a 6 page text


<removed inappropriate details>



, which makes me very worried. he has not been like this in months, hes been himself, he hasnt been on depression meds for years in which because he said it made him worse and had to be hospitalized twice for and it made him really manic. I have not seen him go really high then really low. he's been normal then he's kind of sunk into this depression. he told me he needs space right now and just wants to shut out the world and do "Him" right now and not "us" and it offends me

i understand what hes going through mentally because i have a similar mental disease but it's diffrent. I'm very anxious lately, not getting sleep or spending the entire day in bed or crying and thinking the worst thoughts possible because thats what depression does to you, the negative thoughts consume your head and you cant rationalize anything really. you think the worst is going to happen to you.

he told me he said nothing about breaking up and that he loves me and misses me but the way he is right now he hates himself, and he doesnt even want me to text his roomate asking how he is. I'm just so worried about his mental health and i feel helpless because i cant fix it no matter what i say or do. and this is painful for me to step back like this when i need him most, going through my depression. sometimes i need to be held, sometimes like him i want to disappear and be in my room and be anti social and deal with it in my head.

i just dont know how long this is going to last, beause hes so depressed but i have needs too. i dont want to wait for him forever but i love him. im head over heels in love with him and this hurts but i need to do this for him its just so hard. my ex was bipolar but i never been through a manic episode like this. any advice?

I feel so alone and lost.

 
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Old 01-08-2011, 09:15 PM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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kieran83 HB User
Re: Bipolar boyfriend wants his space, not breaking up with me

Quote:
Originally Posted by DepressionSux87 View Post
So I have been dating this wonderful man for the last 4 1/2 months, I'm his longest relationship and recently since the beginning of december I've been in a major funk. (I am diagnosed with depression). I take medication everyday however i feel like its not doing anything.

I feel alone, I'm out of college, doing nothing working at a dead end job trying to find a job and i feel worthless. the other night when i slept over his house i woke up in the morning crying. i feel thi constant hole in my chest, it hurts and painful and i feel so lonely, and worthless. it's hard enough on my own to deal with this but to date someone who has similar problems, its harder. Recently he's been very withdrawn, not touchy feely, barely initiates sex, has become very quiet and i feel like he's been distant. The last time i saw him was saturday before i left for work, i kissed him goodbye.

I gave him some space for a few days and i texted him monday saying i missed him and i love him and im worried about him. he sent me a 6 page text


<removed inappropriate details>



, which makes me very worried. he has not been like this in months, hes been himself, he hasnt been on depression meds for years in which because he said it made him worse and had to be hospitalized twice for and it made him really manic. I have not seen him go really high then really low. he's been normal then he's kind of sunk into this depression. he told me he needs space right now and just wants to shut out the world and do "Him" right now and not "us" and it offends me

i understand what hes going through mentally because i have a similar mental disease but it's diffrent. I'm very anxious lately, not getting sleep or spending the entire day in bed or crying and thinking the worst thoughts possible because thats what depression does to you, the negative thoughts consume your head and you cant rationalize anything really. you think the worst is going to happen to you.

he told me he said nothing about breaking up and that he loves me and misses me but the way he is right now he hates himself, and he doesnt even want me to text his roomate asking how he is. I'm just so worried about his mental health and i feel helpless because i cant fix it no matter what i say or do. and this is painful for me to step back like this when i need him most, going through my depression. sometimes i need to be held, sometimes like him i want to disappear and be in my room and be anti social and deal with it in my head.

i just dont know how long this is going to last, beause hes so depressed but i have needs too. i dont want to wait for him forever but i love him. im head over heels in love with him and this hurts but i need to do this for him its just so hard. my ex was bipolar but i never been through a manic episode like this. any advice?

I feel so alone and lost.
Well i dont know if this will give you any help but i do my best as i am going through something very similar,Well if you Love him a lot i guess its best to stay in contact with him through text/call but give him his own space but at the same time dont let the space become long term as you say you feel lonely right now,and say 2 months down the line its still the same are you and would you be willing to still stick around with the possibilty of it never being the same again or you being with him which is what you want??I totally understand how you feel as you Love this person so much and willing to help him but it seems you have no answers but plenty of questions i am guessing,(I know i do in my problem),plus i notice you said your going through depression yourself right now,maybe that`s not helping both cause its not helping me as i tend to sit there looking moody and i do cause i want to help her and cant as i cant cause its became distant,this is a very hard circle to break i guess,i just honestly think you need to be there for him but also even if you dont tell him come to the terms of it may end,i dont want to sound very negative but i just saying what could end up possible,
I really hope you sort it out as there is nothing worse than being shunned out by someone you Love deeply with all your Heart,cause i know myself its Heart breaking as i would do anything for her but as most people would say a Relationship must be worked out by 2 people,
Sorry if my post as not made much sense/help,but i wish you all the best in working it out with him.

 
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