My girlfriend, Krista, has dissociative identity disorder, aka multiple personality disorder, due to satanic ritual abuse she went through as a kid, and multiple times of being sexually abused by boyfriends and ex husbands. The DID isn't a problem for our relationship, it's her abuse victim mindset that I can't seem to understand, which causes stress, tensions and frustrations for both of us. The way she sees life, the way the thinks and deals with her issues, even non-abuse or DID related issues, like everyday life stuff, is just so different than the way I handle and see things, that it's starting to put a strain on our connection with each other. I try my hardest to understand how she feels, but invariably end up making things worse by trying to tell her things will get better, trying to encourage her, and she shoots me down just about every time with her negative thinking. It's SO draining on me, and I'm trying my best to be patient, but it just seems like I'm getting nowhere, like I'm making things worse for her than better. She says my just being there for her is helping her a lot (I'm her first healthy relationship), but I just don't see it.
So I guess my questions are:
-How do I fight abuse victim thinking (I'm worthless, don't deserve good things, and I deserve to feel and think the way I do because of what I went through),
-what can I do to be more patient,
- what can I do to understand her feelings and thinking better,
-How do I encourage her when she seems to not want to be encouraged
I really just need someone to talk to when things go down. I have no one
I can't keep all this inside of myself. I NEED someone to talk to, just to vent myself, usually, about the issues i'm having with her and how to support her better. I need some resources.