Parenting Older Children with Bipolar Disorder
Hi folks. I'm new to the board and glad I found it. I am the mother of a 21 year old who was diagnosed at 17 after an attempted suicide. He had shown symptoms from around 14, but did not see a psychiatrist until he was hospitalized. I blame myself for that. He was extremely overweight and I attributed his depression and anger to that. We thought if we got his weight under control, everything else would fall in place. That focus probably exacerbated the problem. He finally got surgery and lost 100 pounds. He's been dating and seemed on the right track. So he stopped taking his meds.
Now he is at college, and claims he cannot find a doctor. I suggested the student mental health center, and my husband gave him the name of a doctor nearby. He has yet to pursue either and I cannot do it for him.
Yesterday I received a series of texts calling me the worst mother in the world, blaming me for his illness, and said that he never wanted to see me again. He was upset because I asked about his new job (which I don't believe he has). I don't know how to respond. I am angry and hurt beyond anything I've ever felt before.
My husband's response was "you still haven't learned to walk on eggshells". Is that what our relationship will forever be? Am I not allowed to ask him about his grades, his outstanding parking tickets, his lack of employment?
Right now, I am leaning toward tough love. Any suggestions?