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Old 07-06-2011, 01:14 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Jefferson FL USA
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janenm HB User
Unhappy Am I wrong to do this?

Long story short- My brother for the past 5 years has beleived very strongly that my mother poisoned him. He has been diagnosed w/ maj. depression and ptsd. I want to avoid giving too much information as to respect his privacy.

I'm now pregnant and cannot handle dealing with him. He gets angry when I don't beleive his suspisions and has alienated most of the family. It's been a long five years and I just can't cope anymore. I've tried to get him help, had him commited, he was prescribed abilify but won't ever take it even though I know it helped him when he was initially commited. There's no way to get through to him, what I see as a delusion has been his reality for the last five years. I feel terrible for him, what a horrible feeling he must have to think his own mother tried to hurt him and no one will beleive him. He is on SSI and doesn't seem to have a very happy life. Drinks a lot and I beleive he may abuse drugs.

I've done everything I can, contacted mental health professionals even let the courts know he needed help when he was arrested. Nothing ever sticks with him, he never continues the counsling and insists he is not delusional.

So now after being told I'm a horrible person, and other awful thinkgs- I've blocked his # and he has no other way to contact me. I feel terrible but I'm pregnant and all of this makes me ill. I know he is so sad right now as I told him I need to cut him off right now and blocked him. He told me to "go to Hel#"

Just sad and hoping that I did the right thing. Not sure if there is anything else I can do after 5 years of this.

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Old 07-07-2011, 11:32 AM   #2
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Re: Am I wrong to do this?

So sorry for what your going through but seriously, there is nothing else you can do. If your brother really believes this and yet won't take his meds. or do counseling then he is NOT ready to help himself. Being mentally ill is like a drug addict, you can't help them till they want to help themselves.

I know your feeling guilty etc. but you have to take care of you and your new baby when he/she arrives. Obviously he is going to call you names as he has noone to take his frustrations out on now.

My honest opinion is you did the right thing. Take care of yourself and until he decides to try and help himself, leave things the way they are.

Wishing you all the best..JJ...
When you come to the end of your rope..tie a knot and hang on!

Old 07-07-2011, 12:19 PM   #3
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Re: Am I wrong to do this?

Hi, I agree, and your main concern is to have a healthy baby and be feeling the best you can be. Setting boundaries with a mentally ill person is good after 5 years of trying to help him. He has to hit rock bottom and help himself. You have done the best you can. I'm sorry he feels the way he does but he will find someone else to talk to if he can't talk to you. I hope you have good support too to help you stick to your plan to not talk to him. He is toxic to you physically, mentally and emotionally and you want to have a healthy life now. You deserve it. Best wishes.

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Old 07-07-2011, 09:39 PM   #4
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Jefferson FL USA
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janenm HB User
Re: Am I wrong to do this?

Thank you for the support, I needed to hear that I'm not a horrible person for doing this.

Take care,

Old 07-08-2011, 12:34 AM   #5
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Jefferson FL USA
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janenm HB User
Re: Am I wrong to do this?

Major depression etc. Point is he won't get help even if offered. Won't take meds or stick with therapy.

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