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Old 11-23-2011, 11:13 AM   #1
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I think I hit the nail!!

For the very longest, 22 years almost, my sister has had been seeking attention from her daughter, always taking her to doctors and saying she was always sick with something, even if it was unexplainable. I have put this all together, almost like a puzzle and it's a perfect fit, Munchhausen By Proxy. My neice is 22 years old now and has become , what i would call a hypocondriac, always thinking that she has something, a tumor, lupus, cancer, you name it, she's got it, or she's developing it. I know that my sister has some real issues, it comes from being abandoned by our mother. My sister was placed with her sick grandmother, who was getting help from an in home nurse, she lived with them, the nurse had a large impact on my sister, she saw her as a care giver and someone who could take care of problems, when the would arrive. I guess that's why m sister would take her baby to the dr almost weekly, especially after her first year of life. The older she got, the more often she would go to the dr's office. It was a lot of sickness in our family, our mother died from cancer, we had uncles to die from all types of illnesses, just like any family really, nothing out of the ordinary, only with her. Now, my neice has a son, 2 years old and thank goodness she hasn't done this to him, not yet anyway. My sister has a very controlling nature about her, especually to her daughter, even though my neice is married with a child, her mother still has a very,very large impact on her life, especially her health. My neice has no drivers license, i asked her last night, "Why don't you go get your drivers license?" she says, the dr will not let me, because of my tumor, she doesn't even have a tumor, it's all in her head. It's justanother means of control by the mother, to be forced to have to depend on her for rides every where she goes, what a shame. I told her, you need to gain some independence, it would make you feel better i told her, she said she was way too sick to drive, but she's not. She does what she wants to do, when she wants to do it and all these ppl are enabling her, because it's easier for them, her in laws are also just as bad for going along with this mess and not trying to do something about it. How can they not see this? Everyone that I have talked to about it, knows what I am saying is all the truth, they can see what's going on also. It makes my husband mad that she claims to have all these things wrong with her, because i have Lupus and at times very sick, it burns him up that she would say that she is sick like me, when he and everyone, that will admit it knows better to.The dr's have told her that nothing is wrong with her, so she goes to another dr, then another and so on and so on. All she ever, ever talks about on herfb page is being sick anf going to the dr, all the time, thats her entire post, nothing ever about her son. It's always about her and her sickness, whatever it is at the time. Now she's mad with me and her mom in law is to, because i confronted them about this and i should have. i love her, i dont want her life to be like it is, she needs help.All I can see for us is, no relationship, she's so mad at me, i dont cae about the mom in law, she should mind her own business, if she cant help her out, instread of feeding off of that mess she's telling her. I guess, im gonna cut my ties, i hate to see someone, whose not sick, claim to be with something that i am suffering with everyday, she knows nothing at all about whata person with Lupus, or cancer is going through, but i do. Maybe she'll get better, but i doubt it, especially with all these circumstnces, the mother, the mother-in-law and everyone else whose connected to this. I am out of it, i have made my mind up, it's not woth getting all upset over, for nothing.

 
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Old 11-23-2011, 03:21 PM   #2
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Re: I think I hit the nail!!

I have something else to add to this message. My sister, who will not have anything to do with me, unless she is wanting something(money) from me, has always seemed to be on another page. I am not sure why she is so stuck on wanting something to be wrong with her daughter, i thought that MBP, was just related to small children, guess i was totally wrong about that, huh? In this case, the mother has so much control over her grown, married with a child daughter, that she continues to run her all around the place to different dr's every week it's something else, this week it's Lupus. Who knows what it will be next week.They seem to really be getting some type of satisfaction, for use of a better word, out of this. I want to understand it, I want to know whats up with their way of thinking, why is this happening to them. Why am I the only one, besides my hudsband, who will say something about this? My neice will not speak to me, after last night. She got really mad cause of me telling her to get her drivers license, when she made the comment about she couldn't cause of her tumor, I also said you have had that tumor for 5 years, thats how long its been sice you could have got your license, she didn't say nothing back after that.She just seeks all this attention from being sick and it makes me sick! The mere fact that it's all in her head and her mother created this problem, by dragging her to dr's all her life. making her always think something was wrong with her, now it is, she's really mental. what a shame. I dont think, with everyone feeding into her"sickness" that I can be heard, they think im just a cold, mean person. i am far from that, i am a loving and caring person, thats why this bothers me so bad. If anyone has been in my shoes, or knows something about this situation, please let me know anything. it will be a great help, for me anyway.

 
Old 11-23-2011, 11:32 PM   #3
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Re: I think I hit the nail!!

Well i dont know anyone with mbp but it has been something that has interested me in the past. People with mbp usually, pretty much always, have had a sick family member and have been in close contact with them. It is a method to gain treatment, attention, sympathy, and comfort from medical personnel, family or friends. Keep in mind they are not doing it to aggravate you its just a way of filling a psychological need for them. But anyway im glad you found out the underlying problem and hope you can realize they are sick, just not in the conventional sense like in your case. All the best to you though and i hope you dont give up on your sister and neice, as frustrating as it may be at times family is important and if you just give up your gonna regret it later in life.

Last edited by xbadfishx; 11-23-2011 at 11:48 PM.

 
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