I've been reading a lot of these kind of posts... and it seems like all these men and woman are in completely different situations than I am.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now. He has had a horrible past and wouldn't open up to anyone about anything. I told him this was fine, and just before our two month mark, he told me everything
. This included the fact that he has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Before we met, he got really involved with drugs and became addicted to oxy. This he didn't tell me until about three months ago. Because we are in our final year of high school, he and his mom decided that moving him in with his grandmother (12 hours away) would be a great way to help him start new and work on his issues.
- We met
- Classic BPD infatuation
- Started dating
- He moved
- He opened up to me about everything in his life (something he has never done)
Now we come to present day. Tuesday will be his 1 month sober (before that his longest was a week and a half). He's been taking medication (his grandmother and i have been keeping in touch and they both have an agreement to make sure he takes it). He's seeing someone for both his BPD and oxy addiction.
He says always dealt with things alone... so he doesn't really understand the whole concept of going to talk to anyone about things. We've had a great relationship. Things were rocky at first, but now we literally tell each other everything
that is going on in our minds. It's got us to a really great place. He tells me when he's in a mood (if we are currently talking), and communicates that he needs to walk away from a conversation and come back to it later.
So he's doing well... he's not in denial... he recognizes the signs... doesn't verbally abuse me in any way...
The part that I really struggle with is that he won't grasp the concept that I worry about him. I text him once in the morning and once at night. Ever since his 3 week sobriety mark... these texts have been answered very seldom. I've had a couple conversations about it with him and he claims to see where I'm coming from, but gets in a space where he doesn't want to suck me in. I'm a very... not needy... but... I'm the kind of person who does need a little bit of attention. I explain to him that just because I love him, doesn't mean that he has the right to treat me as something disposable... and he's been very careful with my heart. I myself have been through depression, ptsd and an anxiety disorder that took me out of school for 6 months. I sort of know that path.
I'm giving him his space, because I'm assuming that he needs it. I text him and encourage him and tell him to stay strong and everything...
I guess I just need some tips on what I'm doing wrong and right. I'd like to know what any people suffering from BPD think is maybe going on in his head.
He's a very kind-hearted and gentle man. The relationship hasn't dragged me down once. Sure, it's not always easy... but it's not something that I feel is ruining my life. I have learned my own coping skills, and I really feel like he is doing hard, hard work to get better.
What do you guys think about all of this?