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Old 02-14-2012, 05:14 AM   #1
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Think that my partner may have Borderline Perosonality Disorder

Hey everybody,i am just posting here as i am at my wits end of my the erratic behaviour of my boyfriend at certian points in our relationship.Most of the time (about 80 or 90 per cent)he is great and treats me exceptionally well and he can't say enough about me.But every now and again if we get into a potentially argumentative situation or i tell him that something that i think he perceives as being too close to the bone he freaks out and he gets very angry and petty and hurtful.I know that he has been under tremendous stress lately with various things and this behaviour did improve for a while but it has happened too much over the past 13 months.He has a tendency to get very angry and unmanageable behaviour wise and he says the pettiest, most hurtful things too at times.Also,there seems to be some kind of control element going as well as if we have an argument and he totally loses himself in his anger it's like he has to try and make me jump through hoops until he is satisfied and then he calms down.And also through alot of this i have been wondering if i was the problem or part of it.I love him dearly and i know he does me but sometimes it's like being with too different people.In the past couple of weeks he's told me to shut up,****** off,called me an overreactor and a bully.He informed the other night after an extended period of anger and ignoring me that he was on anti-depressants and demanded that i take partial responsibility for it!!He has also informed that he self medicating for undiagnosed depression with these anti-depressants given to him by his mother.He also has a tendency to not fully take responsibility for his actions and often has to counteract something that he has done by bringing in something i have done.Obviously it takes too to tango and i would never claim to be a saint but i am doing my best by and with him and am very committed to him and to helping him but i am at my wit's end by this point.I know that he has a cousin with BPD and from what i have read about it it sounds like he may suffer from it.Can anybody offer me any help or advice please.I'm very concerned.

 
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Old 02-14-2012, 10:10 PM   #2
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Re: Think that my partner may have Borderline Perosonality Disorder

Hi:
As reading your detailed description, your boyfriend may have Bipolar that is very similar to BPD his cousin has. As you know, mental ill runs in the family.

Besides this fact, the anti-depressant brings on other mental ill, particularly Bipolar, if he predisposes it. In Bipolar, there are two sides as the word, 'Bi...' imply. One is sunny side,... nice and genteel while the other is dark-side,.... angry and combatative. In between, there is also the normalcy to get back to himself/herself once awhile. It's one of annoying and complicated mental illnesses, to say the least. For that reason, most of psychiatrists advise his/her patients to not disclose his/her mental issue unless absolute necessary to do so.

Your quote, 'self-medicated' gotten from his mother is not really a good idea, because there are different reactions to different anti-depressants.

Try to pursuade him to go to the psychiatrist when he's in good mood. As much, you're available to visit to the doc. with him and tell his current condition to his doc. as detail as possible. Because, there are no other good tools for the doc. to dx. and prescribe med. appropriately.

 
Old 02-15-2012, 09:14 AM   #3
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Re: Think that my partner may have Borderline Perosonality Disorder

Hey guys,a bit of an update here.I had a conversation with him yesterday as to my concerns for his health and that i think that there could be something there worth investigating and he discussed this with his doctor today and the doctor told him that what i did was wrong.he told her that i said that i thought that he had BPD which i did not do,i merely suggested that it might be something worth checking out.Anyway the doctor has referred him to a psychiatrist and he rang me verbally abusing me and i couldnt handle it so i hung up.i then rang a friend of mine and he left me a verbally abusive voice message on my phone while i was talking to my friend.what am i going to do?I'm at a loss by this point.

 
Old 02-15-2012, 09:19 AM   #4
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Re: Think that my partner may have Borderline Perosonality Disorder

time to move on
i had a boyfriend with Borderline personality disorder, and have an ex-husband who is bi-polar.....they are similar conditions, but different.
you will never "get through" to someone with BPD......and you will find yourself extremely frustrated. You can never have a healthy relationship with a partner with either one of these......
honestly for your own sanity and self-esteem, you need to cut your losses and move on.

 
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:55 AM   #5
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Re: Think that my partner may have Borderline Perosonality Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepman32 View Post
..... he rang me verbally abusing me and i couldnt handle it so i hung up.i then rang a friend of mine and he left me a verbally abusive voice message on my phone while i was talking to my friend.what am i going to do?I'm at a loss by this point.
Your partner started to exhibit more Bipolar or BPD symtoms as reading the above. All of those episodes are due to mental illness he has, ... not his 'real' personality, nor his intention to say those words. It's sad, but that's what Bipolar is.

You can run from it anytime, but you sound a lot of caring and concern about his current condition. The next move would be you'd contact his mother(if she's sbabilized by the anti-med.) or his cousin(if stabilized or close to it). Also, it's very common for BP or BPD to easily upset when someone talking his/her condition or anything about, .... then the best thing for you to not make him any more upsetting would be the phone-calls from the places where he can not hear, nor see your calls.

 
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