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Old 02-14-2012, 07:41 PM   #1
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sleepman32 HB User
Think that my partner may have Borderline Perosonality Disorder

Hey everybody.Im posting here after some particularly upsetting events with my partner over the weekend where he got particularly angry and hurtful towards me in terms of his behaviour.I suspect that he may have Borderline Personality Disorder.Ive long known that he has a problem with his anger as this has come up quite frequently but during the weekend he got particularly emotionally aggressive and in a way i think,quite manipulative.For example he informed me that he has been taking anti-depressants over stressful elements in his life lately and later demanded that i take partial responsibility for this!The anti-depressants he has been taking are for for what he says is depression despite not being diagnosed with the condition and he got them from his mother.Also, in the past couple of weeks i've been told to shut up,****** off and called a bully and an overreactor in situations where i was trying to communicate with him over our problems.The anger he aimed my way during the weekend was awful and irrational and he also dumped me during the weekend but then 5 minutes later rang me saying that he didn't want the relationship to end.And the following day he gave me out to me for taking the breaking off of the relationship so coolly.Also in that conversation he verbally tore into me for giving away a ticket that i got him for Valentine's toa friend of mine after he dumped me.And in the 2 or days preceeding all of this he wouldn't reply to phonecalls or texts after a situation we had and when he finally got in contact with me after i was asking him about a weekend we were supposed to be going away for he told me that he was going himself.I'm now at the point where i think that there is more to this than simple anger as he has done this before and i have noticed that he gets very petty and hurtful when this anger comes out.He is also very insecure and can be quite controlling in a way as well.80 or 90 per cent of the time he is absolutely amazing but when this anger comes out it is like he is another person.Honestly,i am at my wit's end but this point but i love him and if has a problem i want to help him with it.I know that he has a relative with BPD and when i came onto this site after reading various people's stories they seem to mirror my own experiences with my partner.I love him dearly but i am getting very worried about him and there clearly is some form of problem here.I don't want to be throwing around diagnoses obviously and i can't say if he does have BPD but i have suspected that it could be.Can anybody offer me any advice here or let me if it seems like this may be BPD?Thank you!

Last edited by sleepman32; 02-14-2012 at 08:23 PM.

 
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Old 02-14-2012, 09:59 PM   #2
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Re: Think that my partner may have Borderline Perosonality Disorder

It would be impossible to diagnose anyone without his cooperation, and with a doctor trained to make such a diagnosis. There are many types of mental disorders that can often even overlap, making the proper diagnosis somethimes quite difficult.

the fact that he has been medicating himself with a prescription that was given to his mother is unacceptable, and could be dangerous. Each of these medications have very specific uses, and trying to treat himself with an antidepressant could have terrible consequences, and actually make what ever issues he does have much worse.

The thing that would bother me the most, is his ability to lash out at you, and seem to be unaware of the hurt his outburst are having. As much as you love someone, they must love themselves enough to seek out the proper medical help when it is needed. This takes self acceptance, and the desire to help himself. Without that, there is hardly a thing you can do that will ease these issues.

My best advice would be to have a very frank and open conversation with him about how his behavior is affecting your relationship and ask him to seek the proper help. From there you can be understanding and support his decision to go through with treatment, but that can be a long term thing, and can have many ups and downs. If he is unwilling to take a hard look at himself, then I would move on.

So many people are living wonderful and productive lives with many types of mental illness, and there have never been more understanding and treatments available as there are today. On the other hand, there are also very many individuals who's lives are torn apart due to undiagnosed illnesses that are left in denial or refusal to accept and treat,for those people, relationships and life itself can be a long and difficult path. I would try to encourage him to stop using the antidepressants that are his mothers as soon as possible.

 
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