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Old 02-17-2012, 02:54 PM   #1
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Unhappy Extremely worried about a friend, possible anger issues?

Hi everyone, I'm not sure if it's right for me to be posting on behalf of someone else, but I'm just extremely worried about him. I'm 18, and he's 20 years old.

I've known him for nearly 7 years now and we've been best friends, always been a really fun loving guy, pretty shy at times, but has a wonderful sense of humour and is usually very caring. We dated recently for about 6 months and our relationship was a bit rocky to start, but over time things started to get worse, he was very short tempered, the smallest little things would upset or frustrate him, and he'd take it out on me, eventually he got so angry he just straight up ended it with me, I did tell him I'd consider it just a break, and we can try and just work with it in hopes that he can find a way to get past this anger/depression, because I'm not willing to put myself in the situation again of him taking out his frustrations on me, especially because I only saw it getting worse, and it's close to mental abuse already, what if it escalates further.. We've been on a break for 3 weeks and nothing's improved, if anything, it's gotten worse, he tries to find any small thing about me to get upset over, to use against me and it really isn't fair, my self esteem is about shot because I can't take this, but I really don't want to leave because I truly care about him, and I want him to get help. He's talked to his parents about this, but they're not concerned, and none of them think he should seek medical help or anything like that, but I honestly believe that it can't hurt to try, I just want the boy I knew back, I don't like seeing him so angry and depressed, and especially because of me. The only time he gets like this, is when we talk, and I don't understand why. I try so hard to treat him well and be as patient and understanding as I can be, but I still seem to do everything wrong.

I think this is kind of turning into a bit of a rant, and I apologize. I guess to sum it all up, he seems to be depressed, extremely short-tempered, and he really only seems to act this way around me.

I'd be so thankful for any kind of help I can get, I'm desprate... I'm so worried about him possibly hurting himself and nobody else seems to be concerned except for me. I feel so useless not being able to help him, and even more so because I seem to be the cause of this.

Edit: Posted in the wrong section, unsure if I can move it.

Last edited by littlelexi193; 02-17-2012 at 03:09 PM. Reason: Wrong section.

 
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Old 02-18-2012, 11:41 AM   #2
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Re: Extremely worried about a friend, possible anger issues?

I happen to be the boy that she is talking about, and thank you for posting this. You are a true friend to me. I will let everyone know any details you miss, and my side of it.

As she said, I am 20 years old, and she is 18. We have known each other for close to 7 years now. We dated recently for 6 months, and the whole relationship was rather rocky, as she said. There are times where we did bicker about small things, and at times it turned into an argument. Near the 6 month, I had major jealousy issues. I lost my temper so bad, I did indeed end it on a terrible note. I was lucky enough for her to consider it a break. But that did not make me improve. I continuously got worse. The last 3 weeks have been a living heck for me. I feel like I've tried everything but going to a medical expert, which I really am trying to avoid.

Here's basically what I do to her on a daily basis, and I am man enough to admit this. The whole reason our relationship and our friendship is crap, is because of me. She is literally an angel. The best thing to ever happen to me. Why I continue to ruin things, I do not know. But I look for the smallest and stupidest things to use against her. Even some things she has zero control over. I've made her cry countless times. It's gotten to the point where her extremely passive father has gotten involved and started to tell me to back off. I have hit myself, threatened to kill myself on many different occasions, I've made myself bleed, I've nearly choked myself to blacking out, among other things. I've called her names, yelled at her all night, and just constantly destroy her and her self esteem. I feel like I have no control over my own actions anymore.. and when I realize what I did, I feel like total and complete crap, and attempt to apologize and make it all better..but I know deep down it'll just get worse again.

I am at a dead end on what to do. As she said, my parents are concerned, but don't really see the truth in what I do, even though I live in their home. I talked to them about going to a doctor, but all they say I need is to distract myself. I do that all day every day with many different things, but when I talk to this girl, I just...get bad.. and the thing is..is I love her. More than anything. Yet I continue to do this and I don't know why.

I'm sorry for the long post, but please read my story. I might have missed something, I'm not sure. I just know I want help. I want to show this girl I am worth her time, and that boy she met so long ago is still alive in me somewhere.

Thank you for reading/posting.

 
Old 02-18-2012, 08:08 PM   #3
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Re: Extremely worried about a friend, possible anger issues?

please read up on BPD, borderline personality disorder and see if you think it sounds like it fits

Last edited by rosequartz; 02-18-2012 at 08:27 PM.

 
Old 02-18-2012, 09:14 PM   #4
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Re: Extremely worried about a friend, possible anger issues?

HI, aren't you 20 and can't you go to the Dr. on your own? THat's what I would do. I'd start w/ my primary care and go from there. You need some sort of counseling for sure but I think you'll have to go thru your primary care to get it. In the meantime I think you guys should stay apart for her sake, don't you think, to protect her?

Just go to your family's Primary Care. CJ

Last edited by noevr; 02-18-2012 at 09:15 PM.

 
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