I'm literally at my wits end here. My girl has a fear of being alone since she says she has no one to talk to. She can't find a job and is frustrated with her situation creatively as an actress. She gets upset every time I go to work (we live with each other) and when I see my friends or go to band practice. She tells me that she wants me to pursue such things as music and my friends, but she feels so lonely at home. She literally broke down and cried when I told her of a few gigging dates saying things like "now you're going to be gone in the weekend, too!" These comments make me feel horrible! I tell her that I would quit my band if it made her feel any better, but she tells me that she would only feel worse if I quit because of her, but at the same time she tells me things like "you're always leaving" and "the band is EVERYTHING." (Rest assured readers, I work hard all week to keep a roof over our heads and other than my domestic life which is going down the drain, music is an escape for me.) I'm willing to just drop it all for her, but in return I just get this sense of resentment and anger as if I leave her on purpose. She refuses to call friends because she feels that she wouldn't have "anything to talk about with them", and that they're doing "so much more".
I don't know what to do... On days she's good, she's a kind and beautiful person, but those days are far and few in between now. She even flips out when a friend texts something dealing with the band or anything not involving her. To make matters worse, I have Lupus and have to keep my stress in check.
What do I do? I feel like I've tried and said everything...
What do I do? I feel like I've tried and said everything...
Hello questions77.
I suggest having her talk to a therapist, either by herself or with the both of you. It sounds like she's really unsatisfied with her life. I think this would explain why she gets upset when you go to work or when she's not involved in a particular activity you're doing as well as why she is isolating herself from her friends. I think a therapist may be able to help her address these issues and find ways to improve her perspective about her life.
I suggest having her talk to a therapist, either by herself or with the both of you. It sounds like she's really unsatisfied with her life. I think this would explain why she gets upset when you go to work or when she's not involved in a particular activity you're doing as well as why she is isolating herself from her friends. I think a therapist may be able to help her address these issues and find ways to improve her perspective about her life.
I agree, she should definitely see a therapist. My other suggestion is to plan a night with some of her friends and some of yours, a movie night, game night, a bbq anything that gets her more involved with her friends. Does she have a best friend? Do you feel comfortable calling and talking to them about what is going on with her?? Good luck and remember the only person you can take care of is yourself. You cant fix someone that doesnt want to fix themself.
I agree, she should definitely see a therapist. My other suggestion is to plan a night with some of her friends and some of yours, a movie night, game night, a bbq anything that gets her more involved with her friends. Does she have a best friend? Do you feel comfortable calling and talking to them about what is going on with her?? Good luck and remember the only person you can take care of is yourself. You cant fix someone that doesnt want to fix themself.
Sounds she has some mental issue, her friends, even her close relatives not able to hlep her. She needs certainly a professional help with whom she is able to talk very truthfully about her feelings and other things bothers her.
There is a lot of difference in between Professional-trained help and friends' intervention.
