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Old 07-20-2012, 11:20 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: west, ms
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allikuhn22 HB User
Unhappy is this drug induced paranoid schizophrenia

My bf and I have been together for a year, in this time we have both been heavy meth users. I got out of drug rehab on 7/11/2012, he went to the state hospital's drug program on 7/10/12, his parents had him committed because of halucinations and delusions. Mental illness runs in his family, but it is never talked about. It started out, he found a recorder and began recording myself and his dad while he went to work, we were living with his father. After a few recordings, he was convinced i had slept with his father, his sister in law, his brother, and his cousin. He bought several different pairs of earphones, trying to convince me i did these things. I did not, i cried and told him i didnt until i was blue in the face. There was nothing i could say to make him believe me. We moved to his mothers after this. he then began accusing me of etching, i guess like scraping words or numbers in his truck like on the console and dash. it got worse, then he accuses me of writing them on the wall, dresser, ect. in his bedroom. Eventually he starts accusing me of doing this to his private, his face, my face, my private, my arms, all over my body. He accused me of having sex with everyone on the street we lived on, he accused me of looking at his friends and flirting with them along with strangers. We had extra money, he wanted me to take a polygraph test. I did, when I did I had been up on meth for around2-3 days, my heart rate was off the chart, my breathing was messed up. He was convinced I tricked the test, I didn't. I was honestly telling the truth about everything. The woman that did the test on me, said I could take another test when I sobered up. She had figured out I was on drugs. I never took it. He told my family, my doctor, friends about the things he thought and still thinks about me. I told him I did not do these things, I was constantly defending myself. I should have left, I know I should have, but I love him a lot, and I really wanted it to work and still kinda do. Something I forgot to mention, we would get hotel rooms, he would always think somebody was watching or setting him up. At one point and time, he accused me of being a witch, and doing witchcraft on him.. He would get various items, for example a sock, and "read" it. For now, he is in the state hospital, he is telling me his roommate sees the writing on his face, that he is going to tell his counselor, that it was me on dope that put marks on his face that are getting bigger. He has not been diagnosed with anything that I know of, but I am convinced that he is a paranoid schizophric. I just wonder if he was like this before our meth (ice) abuse became a lifestyle for months. If anyone can give me any feedback, or advice, anything to help me. He actually told me to move on last night, I asked him if he would ever believe that I did not do those things to him; he said he would never believe me. So i am moving on, It just kills my soul that someone I was and still am in love with would think those things about me.

 
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boyfriend, drug abusers, drug induced, mental disorders, paranoid schizophrenia



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