Re: My husband has ROCD... Help!!
Hi there. I am in my first relationship where I have dealt with ROCD. I constantly doubt whether my boyfriend is the one for me or whether I even love him, even though I get devastated at the thought of him leaving me or me being without him. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and OCD doesn't help this. My OCD will focus on faults of his personality and will try to prove to me that that's why I shouldn't be with him. Just last week, I had this amazing feeling of overwhelming happiness that I was going to see him later that day and that I felt so much love for him, and just as I noticed myself feeling this way, the OCD swooped in and said, "Hey! What are you doing? You don't love him, remember? Remember when he did this? You need to breakup with him before it gets too late because you don't love him as much as he loves you." Of course, this completely ruined the mood and made me feel horrible and anxious the entire day. I think that the point is that your husband does love you, because if he didn't, he wouldn't feel anxious about NOT loving you. OCD is a crazy thing... and it attaches itself to the things you care about the most. My OCD will make me have so many doubts, and keep me in such a state, that I completely just feel numb to all feelings for my boyfriend, and then the OCD turns around and tries to use that as proof to me not loving him: "See? You don't feel anything for him? That's proof that you don't really love him." If you want to know what it's like to have OCD and intrusive thoughts, imagine that you have this friend that always follows you around that no one else can see, and she always points out things that are wrong with your husband: "Oh my gosh. He went to the restaurant without you while you were at work and didn't offer to bring you anything. He doesn't love you. And look at that mole on his face... It's huge. Oh, look. He's talking to that childhood friend of his online again. He's probably cheating. I mean, why else would he hide it from you or not tell you about it?" And after a while, you start to actually believe her, as crazy as that sounds. It's manipulation.