She's refusing to allow me to speak to her or to allow anyone even to ask her about her relationship with me. I think she misinterpreted my fear of rejection as a sign that I expected too much from her or that I was very needy. (If anything, people complain that I don't seem to need them, so they feel kind of shut out without my intending it, and because she has more "rules" than I do, I have always let her "drive" the relationship as far as she wanted it to go and never pushed. She's a bit younger than I am, was struggling professionally, and she was the one who sought me out — and she built a relationship with my kids, who adore her, and now she's acting as if I were pursuing her and seems not to care what effect it has on my family. I've backed off, but it's painful, and I have no idea how to communicate to her that her fear, at which she panicked, was not something she needed to worry about.
Thanks for the support and the wisdom.