It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill Message Board
Post New Thread   Reply Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-10-2013, 04:07 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: New York, NY USA
Posts: 3
Ruthsmom HB User
Unhappy Friendship Fail: BPD withdrawal; now what?

I have a bipolar friend (I am too) who after being close friends for a long time suddenly told me she "didn't want to be friends the way I wanted to be", and refused to see me because she was "afraid her empathy wld prevent her from doing what she needs to do". I was totally blindsided, and hurt, and realized too late I was hypomanic and could not get myself to SHUT UP and sent her an email a day for 2 weeks without getting a response or even caring, weirdly enough. Then she blocked me, and it's been since Thanksgiving that she's spoken to me. NOTHING before her announcement that there was anything wrong. She's my best friend, a couple weeks before that it was like always, and then nothing. Did she withdraw, I mean as in BPD? What should I have done? And I feel like such an idiot. I apologized but no response. Just letting her be for now, but wondering if anybody has had a similar experience with a friend. Did they "come back"? Any advice?

 
Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2013, 12:52 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
ninamarc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Canada/USA
Posts: 1,701
ninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB User
Re: Friendship Fail: BPD withdrawal; now what?

It is sad that this friendship cannot last. Is it possible that you did something that made her misunderstand or misinterpret? Sometimes it is possible that some people bottle it up and blame someone without saying any reason. This is kind of not fair but some people are like that - reserved and don't want to fight and yet have their own moral values thinking something is wrong...
It is also possible that she suddenly cannot take the friendship. Maybe she did bear with you for a long time until she exploded. Like a boss suddenly tells an employee to get out...
It is not your fault if there is nothing obvious that you can see, Sometimes it just ends because the friendship is now at a different level.
Often I have friends who just lost contact after they moved far away. It is possbile that she doesn't think you have common ground with her. e.g., if both friends are mothers, there may be more stuff to talk about and etc.

Please forget about it and move on unless you can ask someone else to find out for you what is wrong.

Hugs,
Nina

 
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ninamarc For This Useful Post:
Ruthsmom (02-24-2013)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-24-2013, 06:07 AM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: New York, NY USA
Posts: 3
Ruthsmom HB User
Re: Friendship Fail: BPD withdrawal; now what?

She's refusing to allow me to speak to her or to allow anyone even to ask her about her relationship with me. I think she misinterpreted my fear of rejection as a sign that I expected too much from her or that I was very needy. (If anything, people complain that I don't seem to need them, so they feel kind of shut out without my intending it, and because she has more "rules" than I do, I have always let her "drive" the relationship as far as she wanted it to go and never pushed. She's a bit younger than I am, was struggling professionally, and she was the one who sought me out — and she built a relationship with my kids, who adore her, and now she's acting as if I were pursuing her and seems not to care what effect it has on my family. I've backed off, but it's painful, and I have no idea how to communicate to her that her fear, at which she panicked, was not something she needed to worry about. Thanks for the support and the wisdom.

 
Reply With Quote
The following user gives a hug of support to Ruthsmom:
ninamarc (02-25-2013)
Reply Reply




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



rosequartz (10), katlin09 (3), writeleft (3), Breezin (3), ladybud (3), rudiraven (3), Mihral21 (2), solofelix (2), multiplefriend (2), Stacey1970 (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1136), MSJayhawk (941), Apollo123 (856), janewhite1 (823), Titchou (771), Gabriel (743), ladybud (667), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (655), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:26 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Copyright and Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!