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Old 04-17-2013, 01:45 PM   #1
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Chris516 HB User
Unhappy pushing people away(regret)

I guess this is for those with OCD, and/or those that are an ex-OCD sufferer.

When you have pushed people away, somewhere down the road after the initial feelings of relief, have you regretted pushing people out of your life? Then thankful for those that stubbornly stuck by you and would not let themselves be pushed away.

 
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Old 04-17-2013, 02:13 PM   #2
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Re: pushing people away(regret)

Interesting post. Not a topic easy to admit, or, discuss. I pushed people out of my life for various reasons. They seemed like the 'right' reason at the time. Looking back, if I had better boundaries, I could have confronted these people, discussed the problem, and, probably have remained friends. It would have been more reasonable, and better for both of us. Thanks for this post.

 
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Old 04-17-2013, 02:31 PM   #3
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Re: pushing people away(regret)

The reason for my question, is because of my fiance. We have been in a relationship for almost six years. The last fourteen months has been push/pull. She has tried to push me away. Then she would actively communicate with me.

She has said several times, that she is mentally ill. Regardless of her honesty(I already knew she was), I haven't changed my mind about her.

She keeps telling me, she wishes I would find someone that can give me what I want. But when I asked her, what she thought I wanted, she didn't answer the question. I keep telling her, I only want her.

I will mention, we don't live in the same city.

Last edited by ms_mod; 04-17-2013 at 03:22 PM.

 
Old 04-17-2013, 02:47 PM   #4
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Re: pushing people away(regret)

Sounds as if you two are trying to read each others minds. This won't work, of course. Six years is a long time to be in a relationship. What are you waiting for? Why are you living so far away? If I was her, I'd want to know what are you really in this for? I mean, are you happy with it this way? Why not move to be closer to her, or, get married? Maybe she just can't find the words to ask you the right question.

 
Old 04-17-2013, 08:12 PM   #5
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Re: pushing people away(regret)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beehappee View Post
Sounds as if you two are trying to read each others minds. This won't work, of course. Six years is a long time to be in a relationship. What are you waiting for? Why are you living so far away? If I was her, I'd want to know what are you really in this for? I mean, are you happy with it this way? Why not move to be closer to her, or, get married? Maybe she just can't find the words to ask you the right question.
She lives with her elderly parents'(82 n' 76 this year). In one way, her OCD(and the corresponding hoarding along with the obsessions) forces her parents' to remain both mentally and physically fit, despite their ages. She lives in New Mexico. I live with my aging 72yr.-old mother in Maryland, who is getting more crotchety, with every year.

Do I like the distance, certainly not. I would love to move out there. But not to live by myself.

In the larger scheme of things, this is far better than what I experienced with my (ex)wife(medical ignorance), and my (ex)fiance(lies and deception).

 
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