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Family Planning / Adoption Message Board
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Old 07-07-2003, 08:57 AM   #1
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I am a 25 year old male, and I am looking forward to the day when I can be a father and husband....those are my lifelong goals. Here is my question....if I never meet that "special someone", is it weird to then want to adopt (maybe by age 30 or so?) Is this uncommon for a male to want to do this?

 
Old 07-07-2003, 09:04 AM   #2
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Not really. I wouldn't think anything of it. If you want a child and can provide well for it then I don't see any reason why you couldn't or shouldn't. I would think about the fact that sometimes getting married for the first doesn't happen till you are forty. You never know. Just think of all the in's and out's of it and then decide.

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Old 07-07-2003, 01:02 PM   #3
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I don't think it's weird, and I have no idea how common it is, but I hope you realize that this is usually something a couple decides together. Have you figured out what position you will take if your potential wife wants to have her own?

 
Old 07-07-2003, 02:00 PM   #4
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I think there are a lot of issues you need to consider before making that leap(even if it isn't for a few more years).

As far as I know, most adoption agencies will not, as a general rule, adopt out a child to anyone other than the "ideal" couple(usually referring to a heterosexual married couple). Not that I agree completely with this, but this is what I've heard and seen.

Also, if you do adopt before meeting that special someone, you need to take into consideration how they will deal with this. They may not agree with it, or they may only want biological kids with their loved one etc. People are funny about certain things, and this is a major, major issue. I know a lot of men and women who will avoid dating potential partners if they know they have kids. So, unless you are willing to accept the consequences, don't be surprised by how some women treat you etc when they find out. In an ideal world, it wouldn't matter, but this sure isn't an ideal perfect world.

Also being a single parent is one hell of a job. I'm sure a lot of people on these boards can tell you that first hand.
Who will take care of your child when you're at work, or on days/nights you can't be there? Being a parent involves a hell of a lot more work than a standard 9-5 job. WIth a child you never get a break. They're always there, needing to be taken care of and loved etc. I know, there are a million other points, but I'll spare you.
With all that said, I think adoption is a wonderful idea.( Some of my closest friends were adopted ) It does involve many, many positive outcomes, but you need to seriously consider every single aspect of becoming a parent. The slightest thing can really make or break you and your future.
Good luck!

 
Old 07-07-2003, 06:50 PM   #5
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It is not uncommon. A good friend of mine works at an adoption agency and it is more common than one would think for a single man to adopt a child. You just need to be sure that you are financially stable and that you are 100% sure, because you can't try the baby out and take it back if you don't like it.

Good luck!

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Old 07-09-2003, 09:27 AM   #6
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I am an adoptive mom. While it is against the law to discriminate, I can tell you that it will be very hard to adopt as a single male, however it is NOT impossible. You will need persistence and may have to consider accepting a child with special needs. This can be done, so don't give up if the first agency you go to turns you down. Depending on the laws in your state, you may also want to consider doing an Identified Adoption.

[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 07-09-2003).]

 
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