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Old 07-15-2004, 07:36 AM   #1
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jenyfer24 HB User
Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

Have any of you considered how long you are willing to TTC until you would consider adoption? My DH and I have been trying for almost a year...I know that isn't that long, and I was just diagnosed with PCOS so we know now what is wrong with me, so we have to work with that. I am going through the process of trying some different medications and if that doesn't work I will be put on Clomid. My DH is very against fertility drugs...he thinks that if we can't have a baby on our own then it wasn't meant to be for us to have one. He doesn't want me to take any fertility drugs because he doesn't want the increased risk of multiples. Although since I found out I have PCOS and told him that if I am not pregnant within a couple of months my doctor said he would put me on Clomid, he didn't say anything about it or even that he was completely against it.
But he has always made comments even before we were trying that he would rather adopt kids...because there are so many kids in the world who need homes, why bring more into the world when we could help the ones who need it. I understand his view to a point...but if I can have my own kids I want my own...if I can't have my own I have absolutely nothing against adopting. But then I bring up the point that adoption is expensive, from what I have heard. And with all the advances in technology and the things they can do to get you pregnant...wouldn't we be just as better off if we tried IVF once or twice? The cost would probably be the same. I know it is a personal decision as to when to do what, but I am just looking for some opinions or views about the topic. Thanks!

 
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Old 07-15-2004, 07:52 AM   #2
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dh22 HB User
Re: Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

mu husband and i decided (before we got preg) that we would try IVF 3 times and then we'd consider adoption
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Old 07-15-2004, 08:15 AM   #3
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SpeisFamily HB User
Re: Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

I think that both you and your husband should sit down and have a serious discussion about this, both of you being open to the other's ideas and coming to an agreement such as dh22 and her husband did.

Now, I am all for adoption, although I wouldn't do it unless I couldn't have my own after trying. My Grandmother and Grandfather tried until their 40's to have children and then decided to adopt my father who was 6 at the time. He came from a very unstable home and my granparents were a God send to him. My father never even considered finding his "real parents" although he would have liked to have found his brother and sister. My father passed away when I was only 11 and my grandparents have been more than grandparents to me, I don't really talk to any of my "blood" realatives, other than my mother. To imagine what their life would be like now if they had never adopted, is sad.

With all the great medical advances today it is a miracle that any children are adopted at all. Like I said before, I think that both you and your husband should sit down and have a serious discussion about this.

Last edited by SpeisFamily; 07-15-2004 at 08:17 AM.

 
Old 07-15-2004, 04:44 PM   #4
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Re: Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

Thanks for the replies. I am sure we will have a discussion about it sometime. Like I said he is very set in his thinking that if we can't get pregnant then it just wasn't meant to be. He doesn't agree with all the advances in technology because its something that was never there before. We haven't been trying very long...just about 11 months now...plus I was just diagnosed with PCOS. I didn't know I even had it and now I do and I can hopefully work around that now. But I just started thinking on how long I really want to keep trying before I think we should consider an alternative, whatever it may be. We are fairly young, I am 24 and my DH is 28. So I know we will just have to see what happens but I am thinking I could probably only do another year or so of this before I would have to try something else or adopt. So, guess I just have to wait and see. Thanks for the advice and thoughts though, I appreciate it!!!

 
Old 07-15-2004, 08:07 PM   #5
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Re: Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

I also have PCOS and I have 2 children. I don't think I developed PCOS until I was in my 20's. I never had any menstrual irregularities or infertility prior to that. I had 1 child when I was 19 and began taking Depo Provera b/c and after being on it for 2 years I decided to try for another child. I ended up trying for 2 years and was put on Clomid and did finally end up getting pregnant. I suspected PCOS at that time, but my suspicions were pretty much just thrown out the window by my physician. I did finally get my diagnosis when my son was a year old. Basically, I just wanted to say that achieving a pregnancy with PCOS is possible...........it's very possible. There are many women out there with PCOS that have successfully gotten pregnant. We may need some help, but it happens. Maybe try to educate your husband on PCOS so that he can fully understand what it does to our bodies and maybe then he will realize that it will be hard for you to conceive on your own without meds. Also, there is only a 10% chance of multiples with the lowest dose of Clomid (at least that is what I was told by my dr). The percentage for multiples really jumps with the injectable infertility treatments and IVF.........not so much the oral meds.

 
Old 07-15-2004, 08:14 PM   #6
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barton93 HB User
Re: Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

Also.......how is your doctor treating your PCOS??? Did he prescribe any insulin sensitizing meds such as metformin??? Metformin seems to work wonders for women with PCOS. It really seems to level out all the unbalanced hormones resulting in a lot of women then having success with conception due to balanced hormones.

 
Old 07-15-2004, 08:43 PM   #7
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Re: Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

Well, like I said I was just diagnosed with PCOS on June 29th. The doctor diagnosed me by looking at the bloodwork that my primary care physician had done on me and based on what had been going on with my body since I went off the pill. I was on the pill for 9 years, I started it when I was 15. So the doctor put me on Progesterone for 12 days to make me have a period. He said I could see nothing, spotting, or a full period about 3-4 days after I stop the progesterone, well after taking it for 6 days I started spotting and then got a period. I called the office and the nurse didn't seem to concerned that it was out of the ordinary and she said to keep taking the pills because if I were to stop it could mess things up. Also, when I started taking the progesterone I also did start taking metformin at the same time. I started with 500mg for 7 days then went to 1000mg after that. My doctor said that if nothing has happened by September then he would probably put me on clomid. And like I said...my DH hasn't said much against that since I found out what I have wrong with me. And I have brought up the topic about it quite a bit and he hasn't just come out and say no fertility drugs and thats final, like he did before. I told him what the doctor told me..."When I want to get pregnant I will more than likely need something to stimulate my ovaries to ovulate, when I don't want to get pregnant I will always be on the pill to regulate everything." So that is where I am now. I am still taking the metformin. My period just ended yesterday so we can finally get back to the bd'ing! Hopefully my time will come soon.
The only other concern of mine was during this whole time of taking the progesterone and metformin I developed a sinus and ear infection and was put on augmentin and respaire. I was told by both my ob/gyn/fertility doctor and my primary care physician that this would be okay to take since it would only be for about a week or so. But that made me wonder if it affected the other meds because getting the spotting the way I did and then my period so soon really suprised me...any thoughts??? Thanks!

 
Old 07-15-2004, 10:23 PM   #8
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barton93 HB User
Re: Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

I guess it is possible that all the meds together decreased the effectiveness and maybe did cause you to have an early period. I know know. That is a tough question to answer.

I too was on progesterone but it wasn't until I was already pregnant. I was on it for the first trimester of my pregnancy, but that was almost 6 years ago..and I really don't remember much of that experience.

One thing that I do have experience with that I can tell you about is the PCOS......that metformin should do wonders for you. Within a month or so, you should notice a change. Once I was put on it.........my periods returned to normal, weight starting dropping......it does make a difference. I know of many women that are on it and within a couple of months...........they are able to conceive because the metformin just happens to balance all of the hormones. Hopefully you won't have to resort to the Clomid or anything like that......hopefully the metformin is enough. But if it isn't.........like you said before.........with todays medical technology.....almost anything is possible. I'm sure your husband will be fine with it.

 
Old 07-20-2004, 03:47 PM   #9
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daisy1046 HB User
Re: Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

The money that you will spend with inseminations or ivf and medicine if your insurance doesn't cover is less than adoption. I have been trying for 2 years and have not even spent 5,000 dollars yet so I say go see a doctor who is willing to go the extra mile with you and try clomid, but be careful because clomid causes hostile cervical mucus in 30% of people. Trust me I now know

 
Old 07-21-2004, 04:13 PM   #10
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praying2bamom HB User
Re: Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

Don't give up hope. I recently lost my baby at 8 weeks and am in the process of testing to find out why or how to fix it. Bless your DH about his views on adopting children. That's wonderful. At least There are some people who are so open minded about those types of things. But having a child on your own is a feeling that is so remarkable. I don 't know what I would do if I could never get pregnant again. Good luck and keep trying. Hopefully the meds work and DH is open to clomid, if they don't ., I will keep you in my prayers.

 
Old 07-22-2004, 09:08 PM   #11
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jenyfer24 HB User
Re: Try On Your Own Or Adoption???

Thank you so much for all the replies. It gives me a lot to think about. I am just going to wait out the next few months and see what happens, hopefully the meds will work for me. That is what I am really hoping for. DH and I will have a serious talk about our situation when the time comes. Right now we are just in the beginning stages of finding out what is wrong...so hopefully everything will work out. I was just thinking about the subject and thought I would ask for some other opinions and input. Thanks again!!!

 
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