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Family Planning / Adoption Message Board
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Old 01-18-2006, 11:10 AM   #1
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coffeegirl2 HB User
Adoption/Bipolar

Need some advice or opinions...

Hubby and I are contemplating of adopting another child. We've been thinking about this for quite some time now and we've decided it is time to tell/ask the pdoc/tdoc. I have to ask the pdoc because I'm not able to work which makes me believe the answer from him will be the big goose egg- NO. Hubby and I have two other sons who are both adopted from Russia. They were both adopted back in 2001.

One of my sons has ADHD. He would play a key role into the decision making process of the pdoc/tdoc as well as the Bipolar issue. He is a huge handful. He is such a huge handful that the school is not able to control him some days nor can family members control him (though they lie about it and we find out later through them telling us).

Am I wrong for inquiring and asking? I'm concerned I will get really down if the answer is no, though I have an idea it will probably be no. It is just such a big life decision and question to ask that effects me and my entire family. And, mostly, the answer is based on my issues, not everyone elses. My DH has always wanted 3 children and I would always feel guilty for not being able to adopt because of it.

Coffeegirl

 
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Old 01-19-2006, 07:31 AM   #2
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Toby706 HB UserToby706 HB User
Re: Adoption/Bipolar

coffeegirl-

I am already emotional today and adoption makes me even more-I was adopted at 10 weeks old by a SUPER family. I can say anyone who has an "inkling" to adopt and is living a decent life and has the capacity to love a child-should go for it. There are so many children that need a loving home.

I got the chance to meet my biological mother when I was 19 years old and found out why I couldn't have stayed with her. I was doomed to follow in her footsteps of instability with mental illness.

As far as BP and adopting a child goes, I believe everyone deserves a chance at happiness-I love my nieces and nephews very much, but I can see where it's alot of work to raise a child. I can see them when I want and go home, I would fear if I had my own child-I might tie them to a post when I go somewhere or something unexpected like that...

 
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Old 01-19-2006, 07:45 AM   #3
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coffeegirl2 HB User
Re: Adoption/Bipolar

Toby~

That is neat to hear you are adopted. I get goosebumps when I hear of people who are adopted. A lot of times when I hear stories of adoption they usually tend to make me cry as well. Thinking about my sons usually will make me cry too, especially thinking of my one sons story. He has a sad story.

I, like my one son, have a mental illness. I didn't state that well in my post. I have Bipolar Disorder and found out after we adopted our sons. We knew I had depressive problems when we adopted them but we didn't know about what else was going on at that time- because I had a bad tdoc at that time.

Now I'm under the care of a great tdoc/pdoc. They are working wonders and help me a lot. We have been in lots of therapy as a family with my tdoc, and in individual therapy, therapy for our sons, and psychiatric care for both boys. Still doing a lot of it just not as often.

I'm afraid that not everyone in our family will be very supportive. And, they will have to help us fill out the reports, etc. So, I'm apprehensive about all of it and knowing that the support might not be there is scary. DH and I have to weigh the waters first and then figure it out. We are in our mid 30's right now and not getting much younger. Financially, we could do it. We would go to Russia again in a heartbeat. The children over there are so needed and neglected. It is a long story for me to share about the orphans over there. Most of them end up dying or living on the streets. Our boys wouldn't have made it if we didn't adopt them; neither of them were very big and wouldn't have thrived. One was in poor health. He was the one with the sad story.

I need to get going. My nephew is coming over and my house is a mess.

Talk to you later.

Coffeegirl

 
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