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Old 02-23-2007, 08:07 AM   #1
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Bonita re: adoption

**sorry baby wish I mean to post the thread as Bonita not babywish!!! Just realized it oops !!

Hi Bonita,

I saw your post in babywish's thread but since this is a long e-mail I decided to cut and past into a new thread for you and anyone else interested in adoption. How are things with you?? Any updates??? PIO shot from what I understand are Progesterone injections. About adoption I went online and also looked in the yellow pages under adoption in my area and found about 5 agencies . I found two that I think I will focus on. One is a Catholic adoption agency the other is local to my area but this one does both national and international adoption. Sometimes you will even find attorneys that will do private adoptions. I spoke with an attorney office yesterday but I determined it may be better to go through an agency and then hire an attorney to review everything later. But I am still at the very beginning of all of this I will keep you guys informed. I am taking baby steps b/c this is very difficult thing for me to do but I want to be a mom so I will do what I have to. If a get a BFP in the mean time GREAT!!! I will be a mom of two !!!! Anyway, if anyone else has any more information on adoption. Please post here and we can all share information. I basically read the following:

1. The agency puts you on a list and do a Home Assessment/interview with you and DH

2. You will make a scrap book of your life together

3. Write a Dear Birth Mother Letter

4. Ofcourse they will do background check and credit check etc...

5. Most agencies seem to allow the birth mother to pick the adoptive parents

6. Many agencies allow for an open adoption allowing the birth mothers to pick adoptive parents that will allow them to maintain a relationship with the child. Not all mother's choose this but it seems like there are a good # of them that want this. (It seems as if we have very little rights..was a bit disappointed about this)

7. Cost was between $10,000 and 20,000

8. They want you to be married 3 years but ironically a single person can adopt a child from the agency so I really do not understand this rule!!

9. Can take 8 months to 2 years. Also has a lot to do with a birth mother picking you.

So that is all the information I found. I could not find hardly anything about how the do a backround check on the Birth Parents. I would like to know more about them too for i.e. do they have a criminal record, were they drug abusers, what is their medical hx including mental health (schizoprenia is what I worry about) etc. But I don't see anywhere where we have a right to ask this. Don't get me wrong I don't want to be picky but I do want to know everything about my child. I don't care if he/or is white/black/brown/blue or purple!!

Anyway that is what I have so far if anyone wants to chime in w/ more info please do!!!!

Thanks!!

Kathy

Last edited by deluka96; 02-23-2007 at 08:40 AM.

 
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Old 02-23-2007, 06:01 PM   #2
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Re: Babywish re: adoption

Thank you so much Kathy! I will show my husband this and talk more about adopting. I'm with you about wanting to know about the baby's birth family. Addiction and mental health is important, these are big issues to deal with. And I want to be a mom so badly as well. My husband gets mad because I baby my dogs so much, lol but they are my babies

I am doing better, I get teary eyed now and then, but I am really trying to be tough with this. I dont want to get really sad because it is so much harder to deal with. I have a appointment on Tuesday to talk to the doc, just hope we come up with a plan. Thanks again

 
Old 02-25-2007, 05:14 PM   #3
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Re: Bonita re: adoption

Bonita - I'm just replying to your message in my thread. Thank you for thinking of me. I'm still bleeding each time I ease my bowel. And I was beginning to lose my pg symptom - morning sickness and tummy bloat on Saturday. I complain to RE during my PIO (Progesterone In Oil) shot and gave me a u/s. Able to see the fetus and the heart rate was 127. He said anything above 120 should be considered safe. And I also asked him about Crinone Vaginal gel. He was quite impressed as I know about Crinone. He said it is widely used by the Americans in ART and he only gives Crinone to his IVF patients. He agreed to give me Crinone to replace the PIO. I will be going for detailed u/s next Saturday (8week 3days)

BTW - For you and Kathy.

I have an American friend who married a Chinese girl and they adopted a pair of twin girls from China. They applied for adoption even their marriage was less than 3 years. I checked the agency they go to and found that the 3 years only applies if you are adopting children from Colombia. I don't think I'm allowed to post the name here.

 
Old 02-26-2007, 07:06 AM   #4
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Re: Bonita re: adoption

Thanks Babywish. I was getting worried about you! I know how nerve racking all of this is. I said a prayer for you this morning and I just saw your reply. I hope that everything works out for you this time.

I have a appointment tomarrow with my RE, hopefully he can help me. Let me know how you are doing, and keep your feet up

 
Old 02-26-2007, 07:51 AM   #5
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Re: Bonita re: adoption

Hey ladies, I just had a quick thing to add to the adoption info. We talked to our tax lady this year when we were getting our taxes done and there is a $10,000.00 credit for each child you adopt, so you will get some of the money back so it will be alot up front but you will get help in the end. Just thought I would throw that in for those of us who might not of considered adoption because of the cost


Stephanie

 
Old 02-26-2007, 10:36 AM   #6
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deluka96 HB User
Re: Bonita re: adoption

Hi All,

Babywish- things seem to be looking better. The heart rate sounds great!!! I really hope this is a good sign for things to come. You are always in my thoughts and prayers!!!! Please keep us posted!!

Bonitagirl- It sounds like you have the right attitude. This is all so hard and I just hope things get better for you and DH.

Sillygirl- thanks for the addtl info. That tax write off is a great thing!!!

kathy

 
Old 02-26-2007, 04:42 PM   #7
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Re: Bonita re: adoption

Thank you girls for your prayers. Crinone seems to be working well and better than PIO. My pg symptom is increasing. M/s kicked in full force and making me puke but that gives me an assurance that everything is alright inside me.

Thanks again girls. I gather so much information from all of you. Without you, I'll be totally lost and don't know what to do and don't even know about anything that can help me sustain a pregnancy.

 
Old 02-26-2007, 07:40 PM   #8
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Re: Bonita re: adoption

Babywish, I'm so glad to hear your pg symptoms are back in full force and everything is fine. Please keep letting us know how you and baby are doing. I'll be praying for you both!

Holly

 
Old 02-27-2007, 07:44 AM   #9
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Re: Bonita re: adoption

Babywish,

I can not tell you how relieved I am to hear your news!!!! I am sure your are welcoming morning sickness more than you ever thought you would!!! I hope and will continue to pray for you that everything will be ok for you and baby. Please keep us posted as you have more news.

kathy

 
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