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Family Planning / Adoption Message Board
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Old 11-15-2007, 01:34 PM   #1
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Hopefulx2.5 HB User
still waiting for next step appt but did start looking into adoption

I can hardly believe I am typing this. I am still not ready to give up my fight, but......
My DH and I started to consider adoption, don't get me wrong, I am not ready to give up trying to have our own biological child, but it has almost been 4 years and we aren't getting any younger. (I am 32 and DH will be 33 soon) I suppose there is no harm in seeking information. I had a heart to heart with DH and told him even with adoption, that yearning won't stop. I don't know if it ever does. But perhaps just getting the information will help us feel like we are getting somewhere. Gosh, I never thought I would be here (but also never anticipated this TTC would be so difficult). My DH is just tired of seeing me go through all the meds, procedures, waiting and hoping. It is just emotionally exhausting. By the way, we completed our final Clomid, IUI cycle with no success and are now waiting for our next step appt in Dec. I would imagine it to be IVF. I just spoke with the RE billing office and she said the $20,000 plan does not cover any meds or u/s and labs so are we talking another $10,000- $16,000 in medical costs. Are insurance won't cover any IVF.

Anyone with info, I would love to know what to expect.

By the way, I am not even tempted to BD around OV this month because I don't want to ride this rollercoaster right now and be disappointed because I am holding on to hope. Anyone else feel this way during their waiting period?

 
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Old 11-15-2007, 02:20 PM   #2
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Mapia74 HB User
Re: still waiting for next step appt but did start looking into adoption

Hi Hopeful,

Sorry I cant help much on the whole IVF questions but I am sure the girls can.I just want to wish you luck no matter what you plan on doing and I think adoption is a wonderful thing.Please keep us posted and know we are here for you whenever you need a shoulder sweetie.Take care and good luck.

Mapia

 
Old 11-15-2007, 04:50 PM   #3
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rubynz HB User
Re: still waiting for next step appt but did start looking into adoption

Hi Hopeful

I also want to wish you luck with whatever you decide to do. I think you are right about the yearning for your own child never going away but I do think that adopting a baby would help you to heal. I hope that you manage to come to a decision that is right for you soon.

Ruby

 
Old 11-16-2007, 05:47 AM   #4
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lahc1 HB User
Re: still waiting for next step appt but did start looking into adoption

Hi Hopeful,

I'm not sure if you'll remember me but I was on this board last year and until the summer this year. I remember you from then I haven't been on much lately because we decided to pursue adoption but I check back to see how my girls are every once in a while.

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. Your post touched me because I was there not too long ago. We did many IUIs and then did go through with one IVF and it didn't work for us and I was devestated. We decided to move onto adoption because we couldn't go through this anymore. It's a very personal decision and it's not right for everyone but it was the best for us. We TTC for over 3 years and I forgot what it was like to not have my life consumed by it anymore. I've had the best summer I've had in years and now we are well on our way to finding our child (we are done with paperwork just waiting for the referral).

We started looking into adoption before our one and only IVF. Whether adoption is right for you or not, it may help just to go to some seminars and do some research. Just doing that while TTC made me feel so much better because it gave me some control back in that whole IF mess. And when we did decide it was time to move onto adoption I was ready to jump in with both feet and was glad I had done the research and was able to start the process right away. If you have any questions about adoption, please let me know. I will check back here. I am hesitant to talk too much about our adoption since I know that's not what this board is about but I am happy to share my experiences if anyone is interested. If someone had told me in May how happy I would be now in November I would never had believed them, adoption has really been amazing for us so far and I know it will only get better when we get our little one home

I wish you much peace & strength as you make this tough decision.

Lori

 
Old 11-16-2007, 02:01 PM   #5
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Hopefulx2.5 HB User
Re: still waiting for next step appt but did start looking into adoption

Hey ladies,

Thank you so much for your concerns and well wishes. I really appreciate it.

Lori,

Thank you so much for your response. Your response is such a blessing to me during this time of uncertainy. I an worried about the emotional ramifications of IVF. I am anxious to begin if it means it will bring us that much closer to our dreams, but am not looking forward to an even bigger emotional rollercoaster. I know that it will be all worth it in the end but how devastating it would be to not have a good outcome. Gosh, I wouldn't wish these decisions on anyone. I am sure this isn't easy for anyone and often wonder how people come to determine that adoption is the answer. But everytime I see a pregnant woman, I ask God, why can't that be me? I appreciate the information that you have given me and your response has touched me in ways that you can only imagine. My DH and I are planning on talking to our pastor and seeking his guidance in our decision.

I am so happy for you and am glad that you are close to achieving your goal of being a mommy. I wish you all the luck in the world.


thanks again

 
Old 11-17-2007, 02:39 AM   #6
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JAM82 HB User
Re: still waiting for next step appt but did start looking into adoption

Oh wee chicken,

You sound as if you dont have any fight left in you!
Its really hard going through this whole if journey and with bfn along the way its soul destroying!
Its good your looking into adoption i think somethimes you need another focus rather than just if.
I know its important to you to have your biolodgical child (as it is me) but you do not have have to give birth to a child to be its mum and you will make a fantastic one it would be a shame not to consider it as an option.

keep your chin up-you will get there xx

Last edited by JAM82; 11-17-2007 at 02:42 AM.

 
Old 11-17-2007, 06:05 AM   #7
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 737
lahc1 HB User
Re: still waiting for next step appt but did start looking into adoption

Hopeful,

I'm glad if I could help in just the tiniest bit. I know how hard it is to be in your shoes right now. I know you will do what's best for you family. Believe that in your heart and you can't go wrong I wish you all the best in your path to find your little one.

Lori

 
Old 11-24-2010, 09:58 PM   #8
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Vaneeza HB User
Thumbs up why don't you try this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopefulx2.5 View Post
I can hardly believe I am typing this. I am still not ready to give up my fight, but......
My DH and I started to consider adoption, don't get me wrong, I am not ready to give up trying to have our own biological child, but it has almost been 4 years and we aren't getting any younger. (I am 32 and DH will be 33 soon) I suppose there is no harm in seeking information. I had a heart to heart with DH and told him even with adoption, that yearning won't stop. I don't know if it ever does. But perhaps just getting the information will help us feel like we are getting somewhere. Gosh, I never thought I would be here (but also never anticipated this TTC would be so difficult). My DH is just tired of seeing me go through all the meds, procedures, waiting and hoping. It is just emotionally exhausting. By the way, we completed our final Clomid, IUI cycle with no success and are now waiting for our next step appt in Dec. I would imagine it to be IVF. I just spoke with the RE billing office and she said the $20,000 plan does not cover any meds or u/s and labs so are we talking another $10,000- $16,000 in medical costs. Are insurance won't cover any IVF.
Anyone with info, I would love to know what to expect.
I am 36 y old and my partner is 45y with poor sperm morphology, we tried IVF and it is very painfull treatment its med are not friendly to stomach. we are trying IUI fom last 12 y but in vain. Our Doctor advise to try ICSI the last hope but he is of view that success is 15% we are discussing Adoption but why not to try Siemen donar at least child is half biologically ours, you should consider it too! and advise us for the things to consider, bye bye Vaneeza

 
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