I probably shouldn't post this, but I guess I better let it out.
Although I usually keep busy....sometimes the loneliness of FM gets to me.
Like events I can't include myself in, times when I have to postpone something, knowing others are having fun when I'm in a flare-up, etc.
To sit home alone---like today---sometimes gets to me.
Usually I handle time alone constructively and don't care, but other times there's the loneliness of the disease. It really gets to me sometimes, but I know I have to go through it at times.
Hopefully I'll feel better after posting this. My wife took off for New York to visit with friends and I had to stay behind. It will be a late night thing, too and I'm so used to her being here in the evening. But morning to evening today it's just me and my dog.
I feel like a big baby and will through it, but sometimes it's just the loneliness that this disease can cause that gets to me.
You reminded me about getting mad at myself. I guess today is one of those days. Even though I know I'd have to stay alone all day and part of the night it's just one of those days I really didn't feel like being alone, but didn't want to deprive my wife of the good times today.
Yes, I am always around to talk to also. Feel free to email any time meowno1@dotnet. Ed, you made my day today as I was determined to go out and buy psyllium husk and I also picked up some STP. So here I go toting my big purchases up to register and friendly gentleman with his two daughters looked at me and said, "You have to stop drinking that STP to clean yourself out!" Maybe we can get group rates on having an overhaul. (TT)
I feel the same loneliness. This week my husband is going to a week long trip to his grandpa's in Missouri. I usually go because it's kind of a family reunion of sorts. Everyone comes for July 4th. They usually float the river on inner tubes. This year I can't go because of Dr's appts with my counselor, psych, rhuemy, and neurologist. I am going to be so lonely when I don't need it the most. It's just going to add to the depression. Luckily, I will go to my grandparents towards the end of the week for the weekend. That will help. I will get some R & R except for the daily exercise in the pool or a walk with the dog.
Ed I too feel the loneliness at times. I have my little boy for company often and I've been feeling better enough lately to do some things with hubby. But many weeks I've spent over the last few years watching hubby and son leave to do fun stuff that I just couldn't do. And I've sent hubby off to do things we used to do together like golf, hiking, etc. I know he can't stop doing everything he loves because I can't but I get really lonely.
The board has helped a lot. That's why I came here. I live in a small town where everything is ten minutes away from everything else. My point being that when I can't drive or leave the house, my "friends" could come see me and it wouldn't be inconvenient for them at all. I tried extra hard this last month to make it clear to people in my life (bad about asking for what I need) by saying "I can't drive but I would love it if you would come over" with no result. They are either clueless or don't care. They just always say "gee we miss you, it would be so great to see you."
I do have one loyal friend who happens to live next door but she's healthy and has a life and job and such so she can't be around all the time.
Now when I know I will have a long time alone I try to plan extra fun things that I only do by myself. Rent sappy or completely mindless movies, eat chocolate cake and ice cream for dinner, stay in my underwear all day, listen to disco as loud as I can stand it. Whatever I can think of that's a decadent, solitary pleasure and won't hurt me in the process.
Oh and Molly I'm sorry you will be on your own for the week.