How long did it take you to accept the new you? - Fibromyalgia Message Board

luv2read · 01-26-2005, 11:56 AM

I know everyone here is at a different stage of the fibro monster, but was just curious how long it took some to accept the change.

For me, the first year (96) was denial and anger. Then came the grieving for the old me. I'd lay on the couch all day feeling sorry for myself. My husband didn't understand what I was going through. This time of my life was very , very sad.

Then I still went many yrs in denial. I kept telling myself "it's gotta be ms, mg, lupus, pd, something".... This is a whole body thing. Many dr's not believing in fibro didn't help this denial stage any either!!

Then I went through the compromising phase. "Please God, if you make me wake up feeling good in the morning, I promise I'll be a better person"

Then about 7 years into fibro I couldn't handle it anymore. This is a true story.... I was on the floor crying , telling God that I can't go on anymore. I told Him that I was giving all of my pain and problems to Him to handle.

I looked up and on the tv was an add for a little book. It was called The Reason For Living. I had goose bumps on my arms!! "Am I supposed to get this book, I asked Him" I ordered the book by telephone that minute.

I'm not even a religious person!! But, that day I had it. Couldn't handle it anymore.

Ever since that day, I accepted that I would never be the same again, but that I was going to be ok.

My denial on the other hand of thinking it could something else didn't end until the end of 2004!!! I kept wanting it to be something that could be fixed. Something that they could give me a little pill and all my symptoms would go away.

So, for me anyways, I didn't fully accept having fibromyalgia ( not looking for something else) until, well, about a week ago!!! If only all the dr's would agree on issues!!!! I most likely wouldn't have spent sooo many years searching.....

Well, If there's a dr out there who doesn't believe that fibromyalgia is real..... I think I proved it!!!

I've had every darn test out there, some twice during these past 9 yrs.

I'm actually happy now. No more searching, wasting money on tests!! No more time wasted on appts.

I'm a happy camper after 9 years!!!!

bluelakelady · 01-26-2005, 12:17 PM

hooray for you! how long it takes is not what matters. as you are discovering, it is getting there that makes the difference. the journey is a personal one and we each take the time we need to get there.
look at all the time you have now to do something you like! have fun. don't look back, unless you need to remind yourself of where you won't go again.
the complete journey to creativity took me three years. the first six months i was unable to walk. alot of thinking got done during that time. a good shrink about a year in helped speed the process up. she reminded me of my choices, showed me a few good tricks when communicating, and most of all listened.
peace,
bluelakelady

luv2read · 01-26-2005, 12:35 PM

Thank you BLL for the awesome words!! So true, so true!

latte163 · 01-26-2005, 12:48 PM

I suppose I'm still trying to accept it! I'm in the "it's got to be something else" stage! My anxiety gets the best of me I guess. However, I too got "power for living" a few years ago when it was advertised-

I'm 25 and was diagnosed about 3 years ago, so I've really felt like I've been robbed of a lot of things. On my wedding day we had to stop at Walgreens to pick up one of those adhesive heat wraps because I was in so much pain from standing for pictures. The funny thing is my maid of honor unzipped the back of my dress in the middle of the reception and ripped it out! It must have looked like a girdle or something!

Anyway- lost track of the subject! I hope I do get to the day where I can just accept that I don't have "anything else" and that fibro really IS making me feel this way.

luv2read · 01-26-2005, 02:45 PM

Hi latte,

Oh that is so neat that you got that book too!! I think I'm going to get it back out and read it again.

I was dx'd at 25 yrs old. I'll be 34 next month! Time sure does fly by.

I know the frustration of feeling like being robbed of things. But time will show you other things to do. You really do have to go through the stages to find happiness and contentment. When you're finally there, you'll know it!!!

That's a great story about your wedding!! LOL. I think your maid of honor was looking out for you!!

Hang in there, there is happiness to be found through all of this!