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Old 08-20-2005, 10:23 AM   #1
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Unhappy owwwww....

Oh my. The physical therapy yesterday about did me in. Not only are they working on my surgery shoulder, but now they are working on my low back. The extra strong PT (man) stretched out my shoulder--I say tortured me. He doesn't allow any concession for my having FM! I am so sore and bruised I will be laid up all weekend. I then overdid the exercises for the low back and I cannot bend over now. I ignored the pain at PT and over exercised due to always feeling like I am an untouchable baby (or so I feel when I am there.) Only one PT (man) there seems to understand FM and it's limitations. He was the one I will have for my low back. I wish I had stayed within my range.I don't know why I even care what they think of me. I will never see them again after PT. Oh why........

I did not sleep at all last night due to pain all over. I tried to lay down this morning and I can't because everything is so sore. I took 2 Loratabs but they didn't even touch it. I am trying to sit here and keep my mind active to put the pain away but I can't so I will sign off.
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Old 08-20-2005, 01:06 PM   #2
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Re: owwwww....

Oh my, I feel your pain. Try to take it easy september and rest every chance you get. Oh, and don't forget to take slow deep breathes that will help.

 
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Old 08-21-2005, 05:31 AM   #3
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Re: owwwww....

Sorry you are hurting so bad, no one uderstands fully what we go through unless they have Fm themselves. When I was in P.T. their saying was no pain no gain, so after all the pain from the P.T. I figuered no gain was the better route for me.

Gentle hugs, Linda
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Old 08-21-2005, 08:46 AM   #4
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Re: owwwww....

I like that one pa235! Normals don't realize that no gain as in no pain is a real gain for us.

 
Old 08-21-2005, 09:24 AM   #5
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Re: owwwww....

Hey everyone....I am still in pain limbo.

pa235, you have a point there. I think it is better to just go ahead and die from some disease due to lack of exercise than to be in "great shape" but in agonizing pain 24/7. I am going to try to stay as close to the nice understanding PT and hide from the others on Monday.

I think I must have snored all night because I feel drunk this morning. This has been the worst week I have had in 3 1/2 years.
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Old 08-21-2005, 09:34 AM   #6
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Re: owwwww....

I was just thinking about why I am so worried about everyone's opinion. Yesterday the extra strong PT's wife came in (she is PT also). She had a baby last week. I swear to you right now--she looked like she has just finished a beauty/buff contest. She didn't have one ounce of fat and rock hard abs. WHAT?????????????? Am I just out of it? What is going on? I "still" have the flabby baby stomach--28 years later. All the PTs are young and FIRM!! I feel like a giant dinosaur. I am what, 20 lbs overweight and yet I feel like an ancient slug. I find myself thinking "If only they could just feel how I feel for 2 hours, then their compassion would be there". I think that a lot about lots of people not just the PTs.

Ok, I feel better. Not pain-wise, but mentally..............
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Old 08-21-2005, 09:46 AM   #7
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Re: owwwww....

Loved your rant, I still have my baby fat from when I was born, guess it is here to stay at my age.

I truley believe all Drs, P.T. workers and who ever we deal with for this DD should have a flare for about 1-2 weeks, not that I wish this DD on anyone so they can feel what we go through. I bet than then would be saying, don"t do this, don't do that. Take it easy rest. Bet they would not be for the no pain no gain either.

Hugs, Linda
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Last edited by pa235; 08-21-2005 at 09:48 AM.

 
Old 08-21-2005, 11:59 AM   #8
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Re: owwwww....

Hello all, the previous posts reminded me of joining an exercise class back
when I was in my 40's. I arrived in my sweat suit feeling pretty good about
myself, when in walked the instructor and 5 or 6 of the young students. They
must have all been size 8 and agile. It seemed I instantly gained 30 lb and
have never felt so out of shape in my life.(I was actually in pretty good condition.)
I was determined to keep up; the music was fast and up-beat, but I keep right
on going the whole hour. The next morning when I woke up to go to work, I could
not move.... I then understood the Scripture that says, ''pride goeth before the
fall.'' I never went back to that class, I gladly let them have my joining fee and
marked it all up to experience. One has to have fibromyalgia to understand the
pain we have because we cannot put it into words. May God's blessings be with
you this Sunday afternoon.
Bilij

 
Old 08-21-2005, 07:41 PM   #9
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Re: owwwww....

hi september,
ah, how well i remember the day i did the same thing. it was one of my last visits before the whole move. i wanted to be in good shape for the move so i had three different kinds of massage therapy and then almost an hour of exercise. the last exercise i did it one time, and then looked at the very young man who was helping me and said, i'm done. he took one look at me and grabbed the weights away from me.
my therapist eileen is round and soft like me. she says soft is okay as long as you have stamina and good posture. she beats me up good during massage. i usually spend 2 days down after. since we do me on fridays that means the weekend is spent mostly laying down or rubbing the places that hurt. i will say however that i do increase my stamina and on the 3rd day i feel a surge of energy and a decrease in pain. it only lasts a few days. by thursday i wake stiff again and friday eileen works her magic from hades on me. tuesdays i swim. my favorite.
i start again next week on friday. i have missed my therapy. i really feel the weakness especially after the moving. i also feel i could not have gotten thru the weeks of stress and moving without eileen and nancy helping me get as strong as i can be.
know when you are done and stop. no one but you expects you to be aces the first time out. buff, let me see. doesn't that mean naked? that's the only buff i can still do!!
promise yourself and me that you will go easier next time. if the massage therapist hurts you speak up. tell them what does and does not hurt. i guide my therapist thru my massage and she says she wishes more clients would do the same. without your input they cannot help you. so let her rip little sister.
i will say many ouches for you tonight.
peace,
bluelakelady

 
Old 08-21-2005, 10:54 PM   #10
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Re: owwwww....

I would love to swim bluelakelady. Unfortunately I would be too embaressed to don a swimsuit at this point. I haven't swam since 1983. About 10 years ago I was a runner and I really miss that also. The pain was very difficult during the running but I blamed it on anything I could and did it anyway. I was a lot younger then and could tough out most things that I cannot now. Maybe one of these days I will find a swimsuit and head to the arthritis swimmers group and stash my pride.

I did a no-no this evening. I drank a glass of wine and took 2 loratabs together with it at supper I normally don't mix my meds with alcohol, but this weekend has been hell and my husband was with me so I did it. I felt so much better and am still feeling better even now. Don't worry, it won't be a regular thing. I am so looking forward to the lumbar epidural this Friday. If it can control that pain some, then maybe I can handle the other better. I need you prayers and thoughts this week...........
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Old 08-22-2005, 07:25 AM   #11
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Re: owwwww....

dear september,
hey girlfriend, i look like a lovely whale in my suit! i discovered the thing that was stopping me from finding my health was my insecurity. what would others think if i wore a suit. now, i am 50. at this point who really cares what i look like besides me? no one. so i went out and bought a size 16 suit. after many months of therapy i had to go buy a new suit. a size 12 this time. i kept the 16. who knows what the future holds, right? giggle.
go for it. this is your health and well being we are talking about here. know what i discovered? all those tight bodies were impressed with my desire to get well. see they already had it and did not understand the difficult journey i had. so i told them. and you know what? they became my personal cheering section!
i had my turn being a hottie in a suit. now it is their turn. i still jiggle and sag and have my jelly roll. i also have my freedom. freedom from the worry about what others may think. it really comes down to what you think about yourself. that is what the world hears and sees. believe in yourself. you are beautiful, as you are.
peace,
bluelakelady
ps. glad you are babysitting yourself. you be careful.

 
Old 08-22-2005, 09:24 AM   #12
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Re: owwwww....

What I think about myself--yes, that is the problem. I have had almost 30 years of rejection by my husband. His constantly telling me how fat, ugly and such. Then to prove how he felt he had an affair. It is hard to climb that mountain of self-love when working from the valley. We reconciled the marriage and he is sorry, but years and years of being mentally beat down are hard to forget and replace with good thoughts about myself. I am working on it though and I know God doesn't love me any less than anyone else!! I realize my pain would be better if my mind would be better and most days my mind is fine (almost). Guess it is just a season for me....
Thanks for your encouragement. BTW, PT was much better and gentler today.
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Old 08-22-2005, 12:27 PM   #13
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Re: owwwww....

we are not the words of others. within are the words that define you. they are buried under layers of other peoples words. we must grab a shovel and dig till we find our pure self. who we were intended to be before those words of others shaped our thinking. it is there, girlfriend. it is worth digging for as it is your purest self. all of us have a pure self. that self is gentle, kind, compassionate, loving and because of that we are all those things and more. beauty comes from within, not without. beauty that lasts us thru the years as our bodies age and we grow soft and wrinkled.
it is a mind set, my friend. not something you find at a health club. of couse we must take care of the shell that houses our self. i am glad your therapy went better today.
what i learned from all those other words is not only who i want to be but also who i do not want to be.
when a person is doing something unfair they often stab at the person they are wronging. they throw them off so they will blame themselves for what that person is doing. sounds like you may have been there. i know i have. at some point tho i drew a line and decided never to allow anyone to cross it. not even me. since then i have been busy digging and digging. more and more i see a being within i enjoy being around. i have been told i was fat and ugly and well, you name it, i probably heard it. the best was telling me i would never amount to anything. how wrong they were. but for years i believed their words and not my own. others still say words. i just don't take them personally. i ask myself what must they be feeling to say such words and i find compassion for them. if need be i also remove myself from the presence of the person as in the case with IT. i do not respond to hurtful words. i never ask why they said it. silence is a powerful tool i use daily.
peace,
bluelakelady
peace,
bluelakelady

 
Old 08-22-2005, 12:53 PM   #14
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Re: owwwww....

bluelakelady....
You have made a place on the prestigious ice box next to my granddaughter's pictures. I will read your post each day and remind myself of my self.
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Old 08-22-2005, 01:39 PM   #15
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Re: owwwww....

Good for you septemberwoman, you hang in there!

 
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