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Old 10-18-2005, 08:12 AM   #1
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cars, planes, stress and a baby to hold in my arms!

Dear Frbro Family,

As promised here is the story of my trip.
Flying is always an issue when being disabled is part of the equation. Brother and I set off early on Saturday for the airport. A 2 hour drive. Upon arriving I was told there were delays due to fog in Frisco. Ah, the first stress. Now I love to fly so the excitement is also a form of stress. I took my little blue mellow pill and prepared for a very long day.
I missed my connecting flight. It left 20 minutes before I landed. So now to hang out in the airport for 5 hours waiting for the next flight. I put my baggage in my wheelchair and goofed around. I sat outside listening to the enormous sounds of huge engines and watching the people go by. So many colors and accents. Delightful. I had fun hanging around waiting.
At last my plane was ready. Now from Sac to Frisco I flew in a 50 passenger, twin engine prop driven plane. This next plane was the same only a 30 passenger and much smaller. Little planes are my favorite.
Now to the fun part. Even tho I was pooped out and feeling bits of pain, my excitement about seeing my daughter and meeting my grandson chased all the fibro goodies away.
So, while I sat outside the airport waiting for her she was sitting inside the airport waiting for me. Finally I found her. There she was, with baby Gavin. My eyes filled up with tears and my heart was captured by those tiny deep blue eyes. Olive skin so soft and new. Dark hair with a widows peak just like his mommy.
It was such an honor to serve my daughter and grandson during this time of bonding. For the first week I concentrated on cooking the dinners and cleaning. Cleaning was hard as my daughter is a lighting housekeeper. She amazes me. It was hard to find things that needed cleaning so I focused on the dishes, caring for the kitties, and little bits of holding Gavin.
The second week my daughter was pumping her milk so I got to feed my grandson and of course change those poopy diapers. Funny how I can't clean a toilet without gagging yet I can clean up a pile of yellow poop, no sweat. Giggle!
Gavin is a quiet baby. Even tempered and very curious. He is now able to make eye contact and hold it. Gazing into those eyes, so pure, clean and new, was like gazing into the eye of the universe. For some reason he fell in love with sucking on my chin. Daughter and I would crack up as he searched out my chin to suckle. He went for my breast one time only it was much lower than his mommies so he never found it. Another moment of absolute laughter till we had sore tummies.
I am most impressed with daughters boyfriend. I like his energy. He came home for lunch most every day and after giving daughter a kiss would sweep his son into his arms and head outside to do some yard work. Baby in arms he would water and pull weeds and rake. I asked him for an energy transfusion. This man works 2 jobs, keeps an immaculate yard, is very involved with his 13 year old sons sports and schooling, spends almost every moment at home with baby, changing diapers, feeding, burping, and loving.
A woman knows when a man is in love. This man is in love with my daughter. Blessings come.
There was a bit of stress when daughters dad called. Remember IT? Also a bit more stress with daughters brother, IT junior. He does not claim me, in fact he hates me. It's cool. I don't mind. At least he brought over my grandsons so I could swim and play with them. Even let them spend the night. He will be moving up this way with his sons to live with his dad, IT.
As I predicted IT has moved the cousin in to live in love forever. Blessings to them both.
This garbage did eat at my reserve energy. I had to go outside and the worst headache came. Loving my daughter means I will continue to be exposed to the chaos of IT. However, I am out of the loop! Blessed freedom. So I listened to daughter dump her sadness. I had no answers for her. There are none. On the day I came home she went to Sac for a family get together. Her dad, IT, brought his new love with him. Daughter is not impressed. How sad for her. So hard when a parent picks a partner you do not like.
The trip home was very exciting. Lot's of wind so the plane dipped and leapt, was pushed this way and that. I loved every minute of the flight
The airline did not provide me with a wheelchair in Sac so I chose to walk and lug my baggage first down the steps from the plane then across the field and up 25 stairs. I won't be flying with them again. An employee actually watched me from the top of the stairs and did not offer any help until I got to the top three steps. I was kind, but I did tell her I would not be flying with them again.
My other daughter picked me up for the drive home. She saw the whole thing thru the windows and begged me to let her go rip that employee apart. I said no.
All in all I had a wonderful time. Baby is adorable. Daughter is a good mommy. I watched the bonding happen. Such magic. Daughter told me several times how much safer she felt having me there. She says she lives too far away. I agree! There were moments when she would come to me, hugging me and crying. Sometimes crying out her fears. Other moments of tears mixed with love words. She was not ready for me to go home. It is an honor and a gift to be loved.
Was it worth all the pain I now feel? Yes. I am beginning another cycle of myofacial inflammation. Wonder where it will decide to land this time? Also a Fibromyalgia flare is dancing in the ballroom of my body. Within my mind there are images of baby in my arms. I hear the sound of my voice speaking the words I want to impress within this new mind. I feel the warm soft body of a baby next to my chest and I breath in pure breaths of joy. I hear the many conversations with daughter. All the words an elder woman must pass on to her daughter. A gifting over of the wisdom of age.
I will start physical therapy again the end of the month. For now planting bulbs and pruning trees will keep me limber. HA!
My love to you all. I missed you and thought of you often. Many times I felt the energy of your thoughts. Thank you for visiting me within.
Peace,
bluelakelady

 
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Old 10-18-2005, 10:31 AM   #2
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Re: cars, planes, stress and a baby to hold in my arms!

Dear Blue,

Thank you so much for sharing. I lived it with you. A massive big hug and wecome back. Oh to see a new life come into the world and know that he will be such a strong, caring, loving person just like his Grandma.

My giggle bubbles erupted when I pictured Gavin searching to be fed by you.
Your chin being the target of his little mouth too. With me it's normally my nose - no comments please hee hee !!

The tears that were shed were of pure joy and show how precious you are to everyone. He is one lucky little man.

Airlines make my blood boil sometimes. Like you said though, you don't travel with them again. Not even that though could dampen your spirit in regard to this wonderful visit you had.

What a truly wondeful experience for you. Thank you for allowing me and the rest of the family here into your world.

Take care,

goldenwings
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Old 10-18-2005, 10:35 AM   #3
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Re: cars, planes, stress and a baby to hold in my arms!

Oh blue, I don't have words to describe how happy I am for you. Yes, recieving love is such a gift and to hold a new life so soft and so innocent and wanting nothing but love is manna from heaven. I am ecstatic for you, I have tears of joy for you.

All the junk with IT and the 'so not customer service' from the airlines is such a small price to pay for all that joy and wonder and happiness of your daughter and new baby. The fibro and pain will always be there and I know you can deal with that, we can't let it stop us from a good 'poopie' diaper now can we!

So glad to have you back and am grateful you shared such wonderful moments of joy with us, thank you. Now rest and prune and feel yourself heal and discard the bad things and tuck those great moments in your special memory place.

Love ya girlfriend!
Glojer

 
Old 10-18-2005, 11:42 AM   #4
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Re: cars, planes, stress and a baby to hold in my arms!

It sounds like all in all you had a great time, even if you will have to pay for it in pain. It sounds like you handled the lady at the airplane just right, but I hope you did tell her you are disabled. Your little grandson sounds delightful and beautiful and your daughter sounds really happy and blessed. Her borfriend sounds like a real winner. I'm glad you got to go see them and see all that love first hand.

 
Old 10-18-2005, 01:55 PM   #5
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Re: cars, planes, stress and a baby to hold in my arms!

My dearest Blue,
I am so glad you had a wonderful trip - beside IT and IT, jr. Your grandson sounds just delicious - like you could gobble him right up! And your daughter's happiness and the time that you shared is something you can relive again and again.

I, too, am going through hard times with my oldest daughter, as you are with IT, jr. Her father has poisoned her against me and she hasn't spoken to me for 4 years. She is now almost 17 and I have missed a very important part of her life - her adolescence. It makes me sad but I try not to think about it and await the day that she turns to me. I know that day will come - it will be when she is in crisis that she will seek me out, and I will be there for her. I can only love her from afar and wait.

You are a very brave woman, my friend! I really do not like flying. Your tale of the windy plane ride and the rides on the small plane makes me shaky! My husband and I fly once a year - usually to England or Ireland - and I really, really, really dislike it. This next time I will get valium from my dr to help me on the trip.

So glad to have you back with us - you've been missed. Your words paint such a picture for me. I can imagine it all and feel I am there with you. Any fibro effects from your trip are well earned!

God bless, Jen

 
Old 10-18-2005, 03:54 PM   #6
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Re: cars, planes, stress and a baby to hold in my arms!

children return to their safest haven in time. their womb source. no matter what another may say, children will always seek out their mother!, and ask their questions. be ready. i was and my son came back. my birth son. he is gone missing again, but hey, i was young once too. he will pop up when he is ready for his lecture, giggle.
as for IT junior, i really am cool if he never speaks to me again. i doubt i will miss anything important.
the nose goldie? i about fell off my chair. no words will be said. however i must say the mental image was a doozy!!! for sure as funny as my chin nipple.
i have requested the kids take one picture a week of baby for me so i do not miss the changes that must occur during the times we are apart. this way i figure i will get one a month, giggle. anything more will be frosting on my cake.
as for the IT stuff. it was a good time to see how i handled myself. i know now i can be there for my daughter to dump on. i just have to slip away later and gag. toxic stuff such as this will not be kept within the sanctuary of my body. i did good. i needed to know that. the headache came because i did not gag. next time i will.
i am looking at a picture of gavin. i think being chosen as a grandparent gives a golden lining to the experience birth grandparents may not feel in the same way. i am whispering the words to him that my grandmother gave me. of love, tolerance, peace, compassion, charity and joy. i hear her voice and follow her lead.
peace,
bluelakelady

 
Old 10-18-2005, 03:57 PM   #7
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Re: cars, planes, stress and a baby to hold in my arms!

ps. i am painting again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! only for one hour today. i have a biopsy tomorrow and want to save my hand energy for driving. nothing to worry about. just a skin thingy. on my face of course! giggle.

 
Old 10-18-2005, 05:34 PM   #8
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Re: cars, planes, stress and a baby to hold in my arms!

Dear Blue,

Just caught your post before I went to bed. Best of luck with your biopsy tomorrow. Hope it's not the horrid bee sting thingummy jab !!

You know, it's funny I said to compassionman that I sometimes feel what with biopsies and operations and things we go through, that the medical profession is trying to get rid of me bit by bit hee hee !!

One other thing from your previous post - which I will hopefully reply to more tomorrow - is when you said that being chosen as a grandparent gives a golden lining to being Gavin's Grandma Blue and is so very special.

I feel like that, so very special, when young ladies who I know ask if they can bring their babies to visit. I know they are not family or anything like that, but I feel so blessed that they choose to honour me in being a little part of the lives of their precious bundles of joy. They always call me Auntie and I get goosebumps. Not being lucky enough to have been a Mum I will never be a Grandma, but I will always be the best Auntie I can be.

Oh, I'm filling up and getting all soppy now !! Well, my bed beckons, and I will wait for the safe arrival home of my compassionman. There have been torrrential downpours here all afternoon and night. Most of the way home for him is on unlit, muddy country lanes and I will not rest until I hear his motorbike roar up and his key in the front door lock. He had a near miss a little while ago with a huge cow who decided to take a walk out of the field, stop in the middle of the lane and take in the night air. So as I say, I am on tenterhooks now until he arrives home.

Goodnight, god bless my friend.

goldenwings
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Last edited by goldenwings; 10-18-2005 at 05:40 PM.

 
Old 10-18-2005, 06:32 PM   #9
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Unhappy Re: cars, planes, stress and a baby to hold in my arms!

Hi Blue,
What a beautiful story, even with the tribulations. You are so eloquent wth your posts and I enjoy reading everyone of them. You should write novels, you really have a gift.

So happy to got to see your family and that new grandbaby, but you were missed so much.

Good Luck tomorrow, I will say a special prayer for you, my friend

Hugs, Linda
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Last edited by pa235; 10-18-2005 at 06:35 PM.

 
Old 10-18-2005, 08:08 PM   #10
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Re: cars, planes, stress and a baby to hold in my arms!

yea, it's the bee sting then the scalpel. so i watched two horror movies tonight to get ready for the doctor cutting bits of me up tomorrow, giggle.
hope our lovely compassionman get's home safe. you tell him to go very slow. a motorbike in the rain. brave man!
sweet dreams. it is 4 am your time. almost time for me to hit the hay too.
peace,
bluelakelady
ps thanks linda. i missed you all too!

 
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