Should I plan on being sick forever? - Fibromyalgia Message Board

kyethra · 11-17-2005, 11:12 PM

I'm 22 years old, a college senior, and I have had fibro for about 1.5 years now. I also recently become engaged. And I am applying to graduate school. And I am worried about what will happen in terms of the future. I find myself thinking with two different minds- the well I can't do this kind of job or this kind of job becuse of the fibro mind and worrying what kind of job I will get and be able to do if I don't get into grad school and wondering if I should be more optimistic. Shouldn't I plan on getting better? I mean I am getting married in summer or fall of 2007. Thats a happy thing. So maybe I will be better by then. But this fall I have had pneumonia twice, a flair up of my rare nerve problem that I have to go to Mayo for, and I fell down and hurt my knee pretty badly. I'm trying to be open minded and think of possible paths, I suppose. I used to be healthy, but I had this strange fever/illness for a several days and then a couple of months later I had an ovarian cyst that damaged a nerve in my abdominal wall when it ruptered and then, bam, fibro.

Does anyone have any advice about what mindset to aproach the future with?

bluelakelady · 11-18-2005, 06:44 AM

hi ky,
an open mind, a can do attitude, and determination. find the silver lining in all you experience and you take away a lesson for life.
i have been dancing on this journey a bit over 11 years now. you can do anything you set your mind to. maybe not as fast as you want but get it done you will. believe in your own inner strength.
will you be sick the rest of your life? possibly, but hey, who knows? you are young. in time the answers may come to our practioners of medicine. till then we adapt, we persevere and we find our joy. what we do not do is give up, curl up and shrink to nothingness. total waste of life and breath.
what is your major and what purpose would you like to serve with all your knowledge?
peace filled welcoming hugs,
bluelakelady

Sun_Shine · 11-18-2005, 11:22 AM

Hi Ky, congratulations on the upcoming wedding! That's definately time for celebration. Planning a wedding is extremely stressful & you also are the middle of school, thinking about graduate school & dealing with health problems. Managing all that & keeping yourself positive is a huge task but, from your email it sounds like if anyone can do it you can. But, the key is going to be taking things one at a time & asking for help - delegating. You cannot do this alone. Finding a balance is key - you may not be able to do everything but, do the things that bring meaning & happiness to your life for your future.

It will get better & you will get better. But, you'll have to find the balance for you with your health. Those things that help to make you feel better more of the time. The right doctors, the right support which could include cognitive therapy & especially the right physical treatments such as water therapy/yoga etc., and taking time to breathe & get well.

As far as graduate school - it's becoming more & more important in the workplace these days. But, it really depends on your field. Staying in school may give you more time to get better versus having to go out into the workplace now. But, it's a hard decision. I know that the company I work for that a masters degree is highly prized & helps a person to get the leg up initially. But, the bottom line is that just having a degree doesn't always cut it. It will get you in the door but, it's what you do once you are in the door that counts - certainly knowledge is power but, it's how you use that knowledge - bottom line. And as a note most people that I know that didn't get the masters after the BA do wish they'd done it as it's much harder later on to go back while working full time. Also keep in mind there are many fields though that you can do into that are more flexible with hours & if you "consult" or work from home you set your hours.

Trying to stay positive is key to you getting better. Know that you are not alone and that you will get better. One day at a time. Believe, have faith & remember to breathe.

Texcin · 11-18-2005, 12:43 PM

Bluelakelady and Sun Shine are great inspirations. They are so right. Positive attitude is so important. I didn't realize how important breath was til Yoga. I always had a tendency to hold it or breathe shallow. Life is what you make it. Go for it!
Cindy

April414 · 11-18-2005, 08:10 PM

I don't have too much to add to what these sweet smart others said. But, try to reduce stress, don't hold in anger, frustration, even if all you do is holler a bit or cry yell into a pillow. When people ask something of you, know that it is just fine to say no. I am finally learning that one. Enjoy life as much as you can. When you feel like having a pity party, have it, probably better by yourself or on here with us, and then go on. I try not to do to much planning unles it is something that means alot to me and I know that I can do it without undue stress on my body or mind. Remember there are times of flares and then there are better times, you may learn as you go on what may set one off, how often they last and how often they show up. And remember of course that we are all here for you.
April