besides pain; does anyone else feel the isolation? - Fibromyalgia Message Board

expat64 · 11-22-2005, 03:18 PM

Hi, first let me say how much I love this board being brand new here it's nice to finally talk to people who are going through what I am. I'm finding I can handle the pain of Fibro with medications. But....the worse thing, almost as worse as the pain is the change in my life. I feel like an agoraphobic at times, and have lost so many friends and loved ones who don't understand. you see, i don't drive on my meds, i'm on oxycontin now, used to be on the patch, and i won't drive if i'm feeling fuzzy. so i don't go to a lot of social stuff like i did prior to fibro. And, I stopped drinking because it scares me to have a glass of wine, plus I've never really liked drinking anyway; i'm finding that my friends liked me only because i was fun to hang out with, etc etc and it hurts. Because, i thought they cared about me and it makes me feel like I was just a hang out buddy instead of a real friend. I always prided myself on being a great friend, a loyal to the end type of friend. I'll stop whining now, it's just so lonely sometimes, and my relatives are always pretending like i'm fine and roll their eyes if i have to leave early. I don't know what I would've done without my teacup poodles, i got so lonely that I bought 2 adorable tiny poodles who now breath fun life into my home. It's nice. I really want to find a boyfriend, it's been 2 years! I'm worreid that a man wouldn't have any intereste in someone who has to take pills and is always tired and hurting. Plus, not to brag, but i used to be very thin and attractive and this last year i put on 20 pounds and feel like a whale and have no clue how to get it off. I just feel disgusting. It would be so nice to have someone just to watch a movie with.
expat64

bluelakelady · 11-22-2005, 04:15 PM

oh girlfriend,
you are still lovely, you just wear a different size. short walks several times a day. 5 minute walks done 10 times a day adds up to a 50 minute walk. take your poodles for a stroll. little walks also keep me from stiffening up too much when the pain monsters visit.
few men have the gift to love a woman who is not healthy. i live with my brother. for me it's easier. i decided to find other ways to fulfill my life. i paint. i garden a bit. i write little stories for my friends. i go feed the ducks at the lake. it is the little things in life i now have time to savor, so i do.
you know, just because you know how to be a friend does not always mean you know how to pick friends. i found out the same way how many people i was deluding myself about. now i have a handfull of close buds. we are all rather solitary people so we don't see each other often. when we do we make the time count. it is not the quantity of time a friend shares with you. it is the quality of that time that defines the beauty of your friendship.
every stranger is a potential friend.
peace,
bluelakelady
ps i live 700 miles from my family. my family are city folk and i am a country girl. they are content and i am content. tho my mom often wishes i was closer, she understands.
i am also an empty nester and have been for 10 years. i play nana very well tho. being a grandma is so much easier than being a parent.

seaturtle · 11-22-2005, 05:20 PM

Hello,

I just typed out a long reply to you, and it disappeared from my screen and got deleted. I must have inadvertently hit a key that caused that.
I will repost when I am less tired, but just wanted you to know that I know what you are talking about, it is very difficult, and we have to learn to cope in new ways and build new lives. Not without sadness for what could have been.
You're not alone, I send you comfort and greetings,

Seaturtle

expat64 · 11-22-2005, 07:49 PM

You always know what to say...you are awesome...I prefer country to city too
expat64

bluelakelady · 11-23-2005, 08:34 AM

morning expat,
thank you. all i have is experience and the determination to make each day count. in time you will find all the silver linings in your cloud and suddenly it will be okay to have fibromyalgia or anything else.
we all get a basket of goodies in life. what we do with those goodies determins our joy or lack of it. for myself i found peaceful acceptance works. proactive health care, a fairly good diet, except all that sugar i still munch, giggle, a bit of sun, lot's of water and sunshine in my heart. i decide how my mind feels. my body does not make that choice for me. each day, no matter how my body feels, i choose happiness within my mind. it took alot of effort at first. now it is second nature.
every day that you wake up and open your eyes is already a perfect day. it is another chance to make yourself be the you that brings peace of mind. stop and smell the air. breath deep and slow. know that you are loved.
peace,
bluelakelady