In Need of Advice... or Comforting - Fibromyalgia Message Board

courtneyrae · 05-02-2007, 09:51 PM

I hate asking for help as much as I have had to lately. I know I need the help, but I feel so strange asking for it. Does anyone else have this problem? How did you get over it? I guess that it is mainly the loss of control that I am struggling with. Does anyone have any advice on how to get over this? I appreciate any input you can give me. On a positive note… yesterday was the last day of classes!!! I’ve only got to take my exams now and I am finished until May 30!!!

Thanks Again,
Courtney

Glojer · 05-03-2007, 10:03 AM

Don't worry about asking for help when you need it, most people are glad to help when they can. It makes them feel better and helps you. And I am sure when you are able you are the first one to jump in and help someone else. I think it's called brotherly love, helping one another.

kirstee · 05-06-2007, 06:09 PM

I understand! When you have been burned and ignored for so long (at least that is what I experienced), you hesitate to explore further from fear of more of the same. BUT, I really learned what I was made of during this time. Keep going, you are so strong (afterall, you are a woman), and there is an answer out there for you.

Blessings,
Kirstee

bella67 · 05-06-2007, 06:34 PM

I've had Fibro for almost 4 yrs now, or at least dx'ed since that long. My family doesn't really understand it, so they really pay no attention to it. I do complain about pain alot, but that doesn't seen to make a difference around here. I still have to do everything myself. SO, if you have someone there available and willing to help you, then by God take it! Don't be ashamed, or feel weird. They know you wouldn't ask for help unless you truly needed the assistance.

GodsGirl4ever06 · 05-06-2007, 09:03 PM

I'm with bella67 on the part where if you have someone there to help you, then take what you can get. Off at college (I am home now), I really didn't have anyone to help me. I had tons of friends, and they are great friends, except when it came to my FM. They just didn't understand and lacked sympathy and empathy to my situation. I didn't look sick, so no one bothered to help me. And when I asked for help, they would, but, I don't know, you could just tell that it wasn't something they thought they needed to be doing or wanted to do to help me. I wouldn't say that makes them horrible people, but, I think everybody needs to try to learn to have a little empathy (as I am very empathetic (great for being a psychologist!) and the ONLY thing I can't empathize with is lack of empathy--i just don't understand how you can have NONE, but that's a whole other subject). Anyway, when someone was willing to help me, I tried to accept it, because sometimes I don't get a lot of help. Here at home, I have my boyfriend who is always willing to help, and I have my parents, and they are pretty good about it too. So, take what you can get, or a better way of putting it is take when you need (don't overtake) and then, as my psychologist would say "get over it." (in a nice way of course) "Everybody needs help, you just might need help a little bit more. Take it, be humble, and get over it!" =)

Yeah, I hope that helped at all. I'm not even sure if I am talking about the same thing as you now. My mind is foggy. Oh well, ignore it if I'm completely off subject.