tweiler

Pam, I have not worked since 2003 due to pain and depression but was dxed w/fibro 6/06. I filed for disability in 1/04 but my state has been backed up but that has turned out to be a good thing, sort of.

It took long enough to get to an ALJ hearing that I changed drs when hubby changed jobs (network rules and everything). My new PCP sent me to a pain clinic because even though she could see some mild scoliosis on x-rays, it should not have been enough to cause the pain I was in. Pain dr sent me for more x-rays and MRI and lots of bloodwork and everything came back normal. They also sent me to PT and even in 4 months I had very little improvement. Then one day a PA @ pain clinic mentioned myofacial pain and I asked how to find out if that was my problem. They knew I wanted to get answers because I was walking 1 1/2 m each way from the end of the bus line just to see this pain dr. After each visit I would be in a flare for 2 or 3 days because of overdoing it. Anyways, they referred me to a rheumy. They sent over my records and had me at an appt w/i 1 week. At that visit, he told me I had fibro and gave me a stack of handouts. I actually sat there and cried and he thought I was upset @ dxed but I told him it was tears of relief because it proved I wasn't imagining everything.

After getting notice of a hearing date, I started looking for an atty. A tip, look for someone who has been an ALJ or worked SSDI offices because they will know the system. I was supposed to have a hearing early March but the atty postponed it. They provided me a general medical & mental assessments to get filled out by my PCP. Also provided a fibro specific assessment to take to rheumy. And, they arranged a mental assessment at their offices. Both my drs filled out the forms and stated I am disabled. But the big one is the mental. I haven't seen the report but I was told it is very good for my case. Even the SSDI shrink says I have major recurrent depression and can't handle even a low stress job. And attys can get rescheduled much easier than a individual can. My hearing was changed to 6/20, not much of a difference but plenty of time to get assessments completed and start counseling.

I was very depressed the day I had the mental assessment. It was just after my birthday and I was really missing both my parents (deceased), my family (out of state) and my sons whom I don't have custody of and rarely get to see. The shrink started by asking questions about growing up and my family and I had totally lost it in less than 15 minutes. He had to stop several times so I could try to get my crying under control so I could talk to him. I had 2 panic attacks just because of questions he asked. Basically I was a total wreck. Afterwards, my hubby was waiting for me in the parking lot and I sat and cried for over 1/2 hr because of the stress and dealing with the loss of my parents. My PCP & the shrink recommended I start counseling ASAP.

I started counseling last week. First session was just background info and history and stuff. After I told the shrink about everything that has gone on in my life that has caused my depression, she said something to hubby & I that I never expected to hear. She said most people can change the way they think and they can manage the depression or even cure it. Then she told me that in all her years of practice, she had never met anyone with more to be depressed about and for a lot of it, all I can learn to do is cope with it and survive. I can't bring my parents back and I can't go back to being a kid and avoid being molested for years.


Anyways, I tend to ramble sometimes. Seeing a shrink can be a huge help. When I told my atty that my dr wanted me to go to counseling, they told me to just let them know when I start and sign a release so those records can be presented to the ALJ. And tomorrow I have to call my PCP because the shrink thinks an antidepressant might help but she doesn't prescribe them, she wants PCP to handle that because they know what other meds I am taking. I have to keep getting a bigger pocketbook just to be able to carry my meds around. The more records you have and the more different drs/shrinks you are seeing who say you are disabled, the easier the fight becomes.