It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Fibromyalgia Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-31-2007, 08:13 PM   #1
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Glojer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 3,692
Glojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB User
V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

Hi friends,

I see there are some new people on the board, welcome to the board.

I know goldenwings and bluelakelady and Pa(linda) will know what I am talking about here. I wanted to let everyone who has read my previous posts that included this subject know our sad news.

Our new foster grandchild who is eleven yrs. old finally got to come live with our son and dil about 2wks ago. We were all so happy and excited that the weekend visits and all the waiting was over. Yesterday though she had to be sent back, she can not live with our son and dil.

Our dil has lost 10lbs in just over a week, she can't sleep, she can't eat and she started having panic attacks. It seems in these last two weeks as she was taking B. to see her new therapist here in STL. it was discovered that she had suffered severe abuse (sexual) before she was removed to foster care. It made a lot of her behaviors become clear to our son and dil and those behaviors became increasingly inappropriate for their 4yr old son.

She can't help what happen to her and she has never been counseled or helped with her abuse. The social workers did not seem to think that ever happened but I guess they know it now! I am not critizeing the social workers, they are overworked and have tried very hard to find this child a good home and they did. Our dil has cried for days. We have all been so sad. This is a little girl in so many ways and she has such goodness inside of her despite her early beginnings. She also suffers from tourettes (sp) and our dil researched and found videos and lots of info for her social workers and foster mom in the small (really small) town she is from. They have had their eyes opened and will be getting her help from a specialist in a big city close to them and her school will now find a new way to help her learn and most of all her foster parents in this town now realize that her behaviors are from illness and so much abuse. They are now looking at her in a different way and we hear will be finding new ways to help her.

So some good did come from all of this. B. will be getting better health care from the state and her foster parents have learned she isn't evil and her behavior isn't just defiance. How very sad, she did not want to leave STL., she loved it here and our family loved her and her good heart. Bottom line, our dil could not continue living under the stress of worrying about her 4yr. old and wanting so much to help this child.

I have long suspected my dil has fms, but only in the beginning stages and regardless of what the 'experts' say we all know it does progress. I am saying some special prayers this has not pushed her over the line. Today is our dil B'day, yesterday they came for B. and our son has been out of town on business since Tues. and will not return until tomorrow. What else does she need to push her over the line!!! We took her to dinner tonight and surrounded her with family and tried not to talk much about it, she is talked out. I have told her she has done a very good thing, she was put in this childs path to start wheels in motion that will eventually help her and who knows how many others that pass through that small towns social services dept. I also gave her the old platitude that time heals all wounds.

I know this is a long post but I had to fill you all in and unload.... I am going to try to catch up a little on some of the posts and get here a little more often.

Glojer

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-31-2007, 11:16 PM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Madison Ala
Posts: 35
Piano-Girl HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

I am so sorry! Prayers being said for healing and peace.

 
Old 06-01-2007, 06:11 AM   #3
Facilitator
(female)
 
bluelakelady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: blue lakes, northern california
Posts: 5,461
bluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

dearest glojer,
please carry my deepest empathy to your dear dil. if at all possible stay in B's life as new friends. she will need all she can get. poor kid. sexual abuse leaves a child so confused about the expressions of affection and love.
please tell dil that i have thought on this and see her purpose. it was for her to shine the light on this childs life, to bring the ugly out into the sun for help and healing. tourettes is a very difficult dis-ease of the mind. poor baby. tell dil she is not to carry guilt. this emotion serves no purpose and if she does have fms we all know what guilt can do with us.
helping children who are not yours is the most selfless act. we all do the best we can. tell her i am proud of her. she tried, that is alot!
my son was put in foster care by his father. knowing the system as i do i ask only that she be vigilant in caring from a distance. often children are lost and forgotten within the system. too often as my son will tell you. without adults on the outside being a thorn in their side, many, many are forgotten.
my son says the people who tried to be good foster parents were few and at the time he did not appreciate what he was being offered. now he realizes and has gone back to thank them. tho i had no control in the situation i never missed a hearing or a gathering of his doctors for conferences regarding his treatments.
please, please give dil a big hug for me. our world is a better place because she was born. may the universe sing to her this day and bring her peace.
abundant love,
blue

 
Old 06-01-2007, 07:15 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Glojer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 3,692
Glojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

Thank you piano girl, prayers are always appreciated and needed.

Blue thank you for sharing, I will tell dil about your sons experience and how he now knows people were trying to help him. It will help her to know someone who actually experienced it feels that way. I have tried to tell her B. will someday appreciate what they have done for her and a note if only to say Hi, will appear in her mailbox. They are allowed to write notes and letters and send them through the social worker to B., we all are and since her B'day is in a few weeks we can send her cards and gifts we had planned. But sadly they cannot visit, it would be too confusing for her. That is best though, I think B. now needs to move on and get the most of the specialized care she will now be offered instead of getting lost in the system.

Glojer

 
Old 06-01-2007, 03:03 PM   #5
Facilitator
(female)
 
bluelakelady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: blue lakes, northern california
Posts: 5,461
bluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

please tell her for me that my son was placed in an amazing home. sadly he was still misdiagnosed and angry, with good cause. he blew it. his words, not mine. as a young man he chose this man as one of his stops to say thank you for trying. he has returned to every place excepting one, can't say i blame him, to make ammends and reassure these souls not to give up.
my son would say to your dil, don't stop here. some of us are not as messed up, not yet anyway. sadly there are also horrid foster homes where children are abused. this my son also knows firsthand. he would say, please, if you can, find another child to love. there are so many of us.
hugs and love from my son and i to your dil and you,
blue

 
Old 06-02-2007, 12:47 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Glojer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 3,692
Glojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

Thank you blue, that is wonderful advice and I will pass it along. And thank you too for the sentence, "sexual abuse leaves a child confused about the expressions of affection and love." Your wording was so much better than mine. For it is so true, this little girl would not in any way intentional harm a smaller child. She adored our grandson and tried so hard to be a big sister to him.

You and your son have had a journey that has led you to a point of greater understanding and patients for others. How fortunate you are. Some people never learn not to judge. My mother use to tell us not to be so quick to judge someones behavior or rudeness or forgetfullness or whatever because she said you never know what is going on in their life and what troubles they may be carrying at that moment. When you are on the mountain please ask the great spirit of the universe to watch over this wayward child so that she will find the right path out of her darkness.

Glojer

 
Old 06-02-2007, 07:16 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Pa.U.S.A.
Posts: 983
pa235 HB Userpa235 HB Userpa235 HB Userpa235 HB Userpa235 HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

Hi Glojer,

I am so sorry to hear this news, I know how much this child meant to all of you. your family will be in my prayers. Sexual, physical and even verbal abuse leaves a lifetime mark on a child. I pray this girl gets the help she needs.

We just had a case not far from us where the father and 12 year old daghter lived together, he was physically and sexually abusing the girl, she told her friends parents who repeatedly called child welfare over several months. Last week the man killed his daughter and than himself.

Hi Blue,

How is the old hammock doing? Had my mammo done, ouchie, I swear they get your ribs in also, It was fine and also my echo was fine. Still waiting on the carotid artery report but not worrying because the bad ones get read first. Got to get the blood work done yet. Than the Dr. wants a MRI of my low back and hip. tests, tests and more tests.

Has anyone heard from Golden? She was going for some tests also, wasn"t she. I have not seen her post or did I miss something? Hope everything is well with her.

Sending you love and blankets of sunshine, flowers and good wishes.

Huggy, Buggy, Linda
__________________
pa235

Fibromyalgia
Myofascal pain syndrome
Costochondritis
Arthritis, cervical and thorastic

 
Old 06-03-2007, 04:59 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 1,567
goldenwings HB User
Smile Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

Hello Glojer,

I had to come and say a few words. Your lovely son and daughter in law are gong through such a traumatic time at the moment. Also your grandson. He must be wondering what is going on.

The ripple effect of this type of thing is never ending. I do so agree with you in that time will heal to a certain degree. They do need to take time to come to terms with what has happened before they embark on doing the same thing again. All too often social workers and the like think that by taking on a foster child again very quickly the gap will be filled and their hearts are ready. They can be so wrong in most of the cases.

I love what you said though "she was put in this childs path to start wheels in motion that will eventually help her and who knows how many others that pass through that small towns social services dept". Exactly right and in time your daughter in law's hurt and anguish will settle with the knowledge that her care and devotion has helped in this way.

Early days yet but everything will come together in time for your family. May I send my love to your son, daughter in law and lovely grandson and will you tell them that I think they are such selfless people. Much love to you and your husband too in all of this, your hurt is so very raw and yet you must be stong for the rest of the family. Take my love Glojer and use it to help all of you.

My dear Blue, how is are you doing ? All your hospital appointments done for
the time being I hope. I do hope the results of the tests and so on were what you wanted and yuou can start tripping the light fantastic and going to the mountain without all of hte pain you were having.

Hiya Linda,

I am back again for the time being. I had more tests done and I now have a diagnosis of dystonia. At the moment it is more of a nuisance than a serious all over body problem. It is affecting my hands and lower arms. All I need when I am having a team of fm'ers kicking my body alongside the lupus critters.

I had my chest injections for my costo on Friday and so things are a bit tender and sore and rigid, but when the treatment starts to work, it will all be worth it.

I wanted to come and say hello to you all. Take care.

goldenwings
__________________
I am not a medical doctor, I only speak from my own experience of the illnesses I discuss here.

 
Old 06-03-2007, 09:25 AM   #9
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Glojer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 3,692
Glojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB UserGlojer HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

Golden as usual your words were a great comfort to me. Thank you.

I have not kept up with the boards as of late, so didn't know you were having more tests, don't know what dystonia is. I will have to look it up. How is compassionman doing, tell him I said Hi.

Linda, you hang in there with all those tests. Take it one at a time, just think when they are all finished you will know how everything is inside and out!

Glojer

 
Old 06-03-2007, 01:24 PM   #10
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 1,567
goldenwings HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

Hiya Glojer,

Compassionman is ok'ish. He still has the diagnosis of CFS but no treatment for it. He gets on with things. We are a good team for doing that hee hee !! I will pass on your regards when I see him next.

I have been reading some of the information I got from my friends' Mum on dystonia. Doesn't make too good reading, but as I say at the moment I have it only in two parts of my body, so everything crossed that it doesn't go any further.

Take care my friend.

goldenwings
__________________
I am not a medical doctor, I only speak from my own experience of the illnesses I discuss here.

Last edited by goldenwings; 06-03-2007 at 01:25 PM.

 
Old 06-03-2007, 03:01 PM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Pa.U.S.A.
Posts: 983
pa235 HB Userpa235 HB Userpa235 HB Userpa235 HB Userpa235 HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

Gosh Golden,

I think you have enough going on with out another dx. You will be in my prayers for a total healing, I think we all deserve a break from all this crap.

How often do you get the sternum shots for your costo and where do they put them? I hope you do not mind me asking but I had one, they put half near my collar bone and the other at the base of neck, it did nothing. The rhummy I was going to wanted to try again and said they went into the wrong area to help me, but I am reluctant to even try again.

Mine is not too bad, more like mild zaps from the low ribs up into the breasts, both sides at once. So may the fm or gas, wo knows and I get tired of guessing.

Glad to hear Hubby is doing pretty well.

Sending healing prayers and love to you both.

Hugs, Linda
__________________
pa235

Fibromyalgia
Myofascal pain syndrome
Costochondritis
Arthritis, cervical and thorastic

 
Old 06-04-2007, 08:29 AM   #12
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 1,567
goldenwings HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

HIya Linda,

I have posted a reply under "for PA235" since I thought this better instead of jumping in on Glojer's post.

Take care.

goldenwings
__________________
I am not a medical doctor, I only speak from my own experience of the illnesses I discuss here.

Last edited by goldenwings; 06-04-2007 at 08:34 AM.

 
Old 06-04-2007, 08:59 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Pa.U.S.A.
Posts: 983
pa235 HB Userpa235 HB Userpa235 HB Userpa235 HB Userpa235 HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

Glojer,

I am sorry I jumped on your post after I posted I
realized I should not have done that.

I hope things are going well for you and your family and pray the young girl gets all the help she needs to grow in to a healhty, strong young woman.

Hugs, Linda
__________________
pa235

Fibromyalgia
Myofascal pain syndrome
Costochondritis
Arthritis, cervical and thorastic

 
Old 06-04-2007, 02:54 PM   #14
Facilitator
(female)
 
bluelakelady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: blue lakes, northern california
Posts: 5,461
bluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

hi glojer,
hows the family doing? and our little girl. you can count on me dancing and beseaching all the universe to watch over her. i know the words of old. the same words i used for my son. tonight i will dance for you all. is your fibro behaving?? i shall dance it away, away, away.
goldie, remember, the dystonia you have is the easy one, ha! if you get it in only two areas of the body you get to skip the one that does the whole body at one time. whew! if you gotta have something the baby form is best. so glad your friends mum is helping you stay informed. mums are the best. i know mine is.
off to dance tonight and sleep on the mountain. it is so peaceful there.
around 3 am i found myself out thinking of our little girl B, sending her dreams of stars and quiet and security. children need their happy dreams, even if only in their sleep.
love,
blue
ps. sorry your having a costo flare linda. they hurts. i count myself fortunate that it only happens to me a bit and short term. unless i do something not so smart like try to wear a bra or anything tight.

 
Old 06-05-2007, 05:56 AM   #15
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 1,567
goldenwings HB User
Re: V-e-r-y S-a-d...........

Morning ladies,

I hope you are and your family are doing ok Glojer. Love and hugs to you all. You have had so much going on but you are always there for others. I do so admire you.

Blue, I do appreciate your input about my dystonia. Whilst I understand what you are saying about my having the "baby" one, it is still such a darned pest. It is so very painful too. I cannot just straighten my bits out, I have to hold on to the affected part and do it that way. It is a problem using my hands "just in case". The nerve and muscle problem I have wasting causes me to lose strength, and when this darned thing strikes, wow !!

For instance, if I am hanging on to a cup of lqiuid which I find very difficult to do anyway, hot or cold, and this thing seizes my arms and hands up, then the liquid is all over me. Not only this case in point, but other things are definitely affected some to a lesser degree than others.

My friends' Mum is the best. She has had and is having a lot of physical issues happening herself, some have been very serious but she still finds the time to keep my spirits up and does the same for others. I want to adopt her as my second Mum hee hee !!

Luv goldenwings
__________________
I am not a medical doctor, I only speak from my own experience of the illnesses I discuss here.

Last edited by goldenwings; 06-06-2007 at 08:15 AM. Reason: misspelling caused by fingers going to sleep

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Ambien
Cymbalta
Effexor
Elavil
Flexeril
  Neurontin
Percocet
Tylenol
Ultram
Vicodin




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



bluelakelady (366), WoodsWalker (132), thefarm (111), Glojer (103), tooolgrl (94), biogirl71 (88), janewhite1 (85), kirstee (60), monalisa24 (55), caribear (41)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1165), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:13 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!