Elaine from Kentucky

Scoobs, depression is not necessarily a requirement for FM, I don't think. From what I know, nervous system symptoms can include difficulty with thinking, concentration, depression and anxiety. I have all of these at times. I think my depression comes from not being able to get a grip on this crazy condition. I've always been a workaholic and a clean freak (I'll admit it, I like a clean house). I used to do it just 'cause I didn't have anything exciting to do and to kill the time. But lately, I can't even do the dishes or pick up a towel off the floor and it's been wearing me out keeping up with this new board. I get very anxious - and even depressed - 'cause I'm just not my old self. I'm too tired to move. What about mood swings? Anybody else get them? I used to let negative comments just roll off my back, but now they gnaw at me. Here are a couple of examples. Thanksgiving morning, when I was at my parents' helping Mom with one of my sisters (get this, she has MS and I have FM and we were the only two siblings out of 8 that were there that morning helping). Anyway, my sis noticed that my hands were really swollen again (I had been peeling vegetables) and said they looked awful. Then Mom said that she didn't think I would look so heavy if I could get the doc to do something about my swelling and bloating. Well, that just went right through me. I love my Mom, and I know I took it the wrong way, but I've been thinking about it ever since. Then, today at work, a client came in for an appointment and on her way out she said, "You always sound so stressed when you answer the phone. Is (my boss) working you THAT hard?". Bam! Right through me. I wished her a good afternoon and, when she left, went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. I always try to be so nice to people that I just couldn't believe it. When I hurt like I was today, it is hard to put on a smily face and fake it. I guess my faking isn't working. Maybe the depression isn't from the FM, I don't know. Anybody else got any ideas?