peteybear

I tend to have anxiety attacks, worrying about what may come tomorrow, How will I feel? Will I be able to perform my job duties?......List is endless! When I am told, that I am always hurting, I feel like I am in darkness, it is so easy to imagine the worst, for in that darkness there is only the unknown.....no matter how hard you try to shake the anxiety or play it down...it just takes you over, sometimes consumes you whole!...and when you try to hide it, it spreads like melted butter...How does one get past the anxieties of a thing that has control of you? How does one face the fears of what may come tomorrow, when support of doctors, family, just seem like oh well! its the usual! I try to be positive, and use a positive outlook each day at work, but there are times I would like to scream outloud and let the whole world know whats going on inside this broken shell....it seems that anxiety has a way of filling up all the spaces where you dream and where you reason....LOL.....here I sit in my office needing to finish work late at night, to teach a class, and sure don't feel like I have the energy for it, muscles burn, joints are so stiff, its like a baromoter, you know when the weather is changing and if you live on the coast it is always changing! Kind of hard tho, once you have roots to pick up and leave to better places but would things be better there, another one of those anxiety attacks aaarrrgggg!