Thank you so much. I know lately im having bad flare ups, i really have been in a lot of pain thats whats so frustrating to me, i keep waiting for him to hand me the money and say "honey go to the Doctor and get what you need." I just need a little relief, so being that im laid off from work and we lost our medical insurance, i have decieded to take my Jeep payment for the month and seek a doctor, if even for temporary relief. Anything right now, thats how bad its been. Im usually so independent, now i have to depend on him financilly, amoung other things for the moment, unemployment is out and finding work is a bad deal in this area right now, so i have to lean on him. I may be one for moaning at times but thats usually when it gets unbearable and my body is flinching. I can be fine one moment, talking with someone and next thing you know im flinching in pain. The usual response i get is whats wrong ? or are you ok ? and i find it to be embarrassing but i usually say im ok, it will pass in a min. Now when i do that in front of my husband, i expect a hug or a cup of tea. I drink a lot of herbal tea, it calms me, thats not a lot to ask. I dont feel like im blaming my husband but i did have to make a point of saying, I didnt ask for this, i just need some relief right now? And yes im angry but more angry about that part of it.
I just need to hear him say he understands because i dont feel like he does and i carry around this guilt all the time, do you know what a relief it would be to hear its ok that you cant do and or keep up with the things you used to. Even when i worked my twelve hr shifts and i pushed as hard as i can, problem is i cant push right now and i need his understanding of this. we cant talk, he usually says something dumb and i go off. What does this have to do with that ?
I believe that laying around with this condition is one of the worst things you can do and exercise, even if in small doses is good. A small walk is a great thing........I love it when i push really hard and get something accomplished, even if i pay for it later. Every once in awhile we need a little help, im not sleeping correctly, i tried to explain what that can do to you, to my hubby, im really really cranky, even he noticed i have no patience with our dogs, and i asked him why do u think that is ? The one thing i find myself saying over and over is i need some relief. So off i go right now in hopes of getting some of the meds that were orginally prescribed to me for the relief im needing.
I think it was really kind of you to take the time to write to me. Im so happy you realized a lot of things and you sure do a lot for someone with this condition, bless you, your not pompous at all, be proud.
After spending almost all day crying yesterday, i found this site last night and your right i will try to leave most of the complaining else where but i still think i need a little from hubby, do u still think im wrong ? I would appreciate your honesty once more.