Mourning - Fibromyalgia Message Board

shalyn1677 · 04-12-2008, 02:43 AM

I was diagnosed approx. 3 years ago with fibromyalgia. My life before FM was running 5 miles a day, lifting weights 3 times a week, working full-time, cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, babysitting....etc...

Now - I can't do anything - most of you know what I'm talking about. Of course, there is no more running or lifting weights. That came to a screeching halt. I no longer have energy to do much but work full-time, and occasionally clean my house. On my 2 days off, I usually sleep all day.

I can't help but remember my life before this. I sometimes get so angry at myself, thinking maybe I really am as lazy as people say - maybe I'm not trying hard enough or pushing myself enough.

There are, if I remember correctly, 5 stages of grief/loss. I can't seem to get to the acceptance stage.

How many of you have accepted your condition, no anger, no depression? How many of you quit thinking about your life before FM?

bluelakelady · 04-12-2008, 08:12 AM

gentle welcome shalyn,
i am one of those people. i am grateful for having fibro. i have learned so much walking this journey. i learned compassion deeper than any i knew before. i learned to love me as i am. i found peace. i learned that no one will know what i live unless they also live it. explains why i come here.
i would never go back to my old life. never. what i am and how i live now are precious and wonderful to me. i really love my life as it is.
getting to the place of acceptance is a choice we all make when we are ready. there are no rules about when that happens. it is as individual as we are. for myself i did alot of therapy with a shrink. learning new coping skills to adapt to this ever changing new me. i still use those skills today.
you have fibro. it does not have you. love yourself as you would another. gift your compassion to your body and thank it for still being here carting you around. life is what it is. life is also what you make of it. only you decide if you are happy.
there is much sunlight in the world of acceptance. there is peace like no other. when you are ready, come play with me on my mountain. the quiet and view are breathtaking.
peace,
bluelakelady

kathryn+2 · 04-12-2008, 09:32 AM

Hi shalyn,
I totally get where you are coming from. Along with fibro I was diagnosed with lupus a year ago. Like you I was very active and physically fit. It's taken me about a year to come to accept that I just can't be that person anymore. For a long time i was angry. But I decided that maybe there were still some things I COULD do. So now I go to the gym to swim slow gentle laps instead of taking that killer aerobics class. I started seeing a physical therepist and she has given me stretching exercises that I do every morning and every night. I've heard that yoga has been a help to some people with fibro.
Maybe even this may sound like too much right now .Maybe you are hurting so much that just the thought of doing anything is freaking you out. I had to force myself to do these things in the beginning, but I'm glad I did . It has helped me tremendously. Not just physically ,but emotionally also. But you need to give yourself time to mourn the loss of your health. Like I said ,it took me quite some time before i got to the place where I am now.
good luck, Kate

Glojer · 04-12-2008, 12:42 PM

Hi shalyn welcome. Acceptance was not that difficult for me. I really don't remember a time when I didn't feel just as energetic as the next person or I thought I did. I thought everyone felt the way I do....I know sounds silly now.....but I also thought I was normal. As I got older I didn't worry so much about the fact that I couldn't keep house and do everything as well as some of the other mothers and women I knew. That's something you think about when your young. Then one day something at work started me thinking. I noticed that the ladies that were my age and older had so much energy and did so many more activities than me. When I went to my family doc of 15yrs. and complained of fatigue and aching, and I did this about three times in one year, he knew something was wrong and after a thorough exam he diagnosed me. You see, I really never went to the doc unless it was fever or sinus problems because I thought the way I felt was normal.

I guess I am trying to say, we determine what our life will be. Yes fibro is what you have, not who you are. Blue said it beautifully it is our choice how we want to live. Yes it is hard sometimes but that is when you come here and vent and let it all out and let us give you some gentle hugs. Give yourself some time and little by little you will find the path that will take you to your new life. One that is certainly different, but one that is just as sweet!

Glojer