gorgee

Donna, I am sorry I missed this. Things have been rough, and for awhile I did not come on here. I am back, and it really is my only way to get things out. I appreciate your writing me, and I am ok. I am trying to rebuild my life, with fibro and other illnesses, and be happy with my boys, and my husband. My husband and I are holding onto everyday. He is extremely busy right now, and we might see him 2-4 hours a week, and we all live under the same roof. He just has so much, he works different hours, runs his own business so he does not necessarily have to be there from 8-5, somedays it is more like 12noon to 4pm. My husband also is a golfer, and I have been known to be a golf widow. It is better than it used to be, 5-6 days a week, but now it is 3 or 4 days a week. There is also the contacts, and his friends that he hangs out with up there, so he is at the lounge/bar till whenever. I have come to know it as normal, and expected. I used to cook, and I used to love to cook, now I might make 1 meal a week, the boys eat easy meals, and I can only eat soft things. It is a hobby of mine, I love cookbooks, and I love making new things, but too many times, I was left sitting at the table with a glass of red wine, boys in bed, dinner cold and it was ready 3 hours ago, and I was so excited. A couple of times I was told (we live 1 minute) from the golf course, I will be right home in 5 min, 1 hour later, I will be right home, 1 hour later, I look outside and his truck is in the driveway, and he is nowhere to be found, I call him and he and his buddies are going out to dinner at 9pm. It takes so much work to prepare full meals, and then just the boys and I eat it, or me, so I made the decision to make it easier for me. I will make meals again, probaly when fall comes around, but for now, it all makes sense and it is easier. There were also times where I would make a large meal, invite his family over, his sister and her family, his mom, and we would wait, and wait, and then he would come home, having had too many beers, and go to take a nap at dinnertime. My husband eats out at the golf course, or at his hotel. He goes to bed as we are just getting up, and he naps sometimes from 4pm to 8 or 9 pm, just when we are getting ready to go to bed. 3 nights a week he works 9p-2a, and the other nights he is so exhausted he has to take a nap, and stays up most of the night. It really is an opposite schedule.

I guess I would say we are far from traditional. We do have the "husband makes the money", and the wife "takes care of the kids, and the house" relationship. I try to take care of the house, but it is big, and I just can't keep it spotless. How do you do it? I take care of the basic things like vacuum, dishes, laundry, mop the floors etc., but toys and clutter are an issue. It will get easier one of these days, when the boys are older.

I am learning, and trying to be strong, and not take anybodies crap. I have never really stuck up for myself, but I am starting to now. It feels good. I am tired of having rude things happen to me, like hanging up on me, or saying "whatever", or ignoring me. There is no need for it. Be nice, that is all I need, and all I want the boys to know. I want them to treat women well.

Thanks Donna, for writing me. Please write me back and let me know how you are doing and what is new.

Thanks,
Kass