My husband is sick of me complaining:( - Fibromyalgia Message Board

shrtcak81 · 09-05-2008, 03:37 PM

I feel so bad because I'm a complainer and I constantly complain to my husband. Most of the time he brushes me off like he never heard me. I try not to, but it's hard when I don't feel good and just want to let it out. Unfortunately I let it out to him. He says he understands, but he doesn't. How can anyone understand the pain when they don't have it on a 24 hour basis. I'm glad I found these boards because now I can let out my complaining when I want to on here and not so much to my husband

Everyone here understands what it feels like to have fibro!

Crystal

kirstee · 09-05-2008, 04:34 PM

Hi Shrtcake

It's so nice to meet you. There is no way your husband can relate to what you are going through. So knowing this is an issue, it might be best to tone down the complaints. I have found a lot of guys simply aren't hardwired with compassion. I know how frustrating this can be, but take heart. You will find compassion here as we all understand the pain and suffering you are going through. This is a great place to air your complaints!

Blessings,

Kirstee

Moonlady · 09-05-2008, 07:06 PM

Hi Crystal,

I was quite amused when reading your other post, your name is the same as and your age is the same as my oldest daughter.

When I first started reading it, I thought you were my daughter but she doesn't have fibro, but she does have a sudden case of hives along with burning and pain. I had to take a double look at your post...LOL.. anyway, nice to meet you!

My husband has had chronic pain for several years and complains all the time... even before I developed the symptoms of fibro.... and it was irritating to say the least. He has a couple of crushed discs and a torn rotators cuff and I know he is in pain. I never said it but sometimes I just wished he would shut up once in a while. All his ouches, ows, grunts and groans used to drive me almost insane!

Then I started hurting for no apparent reason. No crushed discs, no torn anything. At first he appeared to not believe me...an oh I hurt so you hurt type deal... he did not say it is so many words but just from his responses and and attitude that I just know from being with him for so long. He has told me a few times that his pain is worse than mine.

But he does act like he believes me more now, more so after I cried on his shoulders about my kids not believing me.... this I was told to my face by my youngest daughter!!... not that I wanted her or their sympathy, just understanding. It really crushed me when she said it, I think that is the most my feelings have EVER been hurt, it still hurts.

Okay, so long story short... lol.. sorry I got off track there. Although he complains all the time himself, I know my complaints irritate the heck out of him too. It just gets aggravating to hear it all the time... believe me I know.

I try really hard to keep my complaints to myself but and the main point being... it is not easy when living under the same roof...for either of us... I do keep it to myself for the most part when I go to visit my kids and grandkids, I used to try to talk to them about it but I gave up on that a while ago.

I am not sure if I helped you or not.. or just created another vent of my own... LOL.. but I do know what you and he are going through.

poppy7 · 09-05-2008, 07:08 PM

Hi Crystal, nice to meet you

Glad you've found your way to this board, it's definitely a relief to chat to others on here about how you're feeling and have a good winge from time to time. I've also found that partners and family can tend to brush off our complaints at times which can be upsetting when you're having a particularly bad day, but as you say, how can they really understand what it's like when they don't have fibro. Then again maybe they know more than we realise.... I like to hope so

I'd hate to think that the coffee and cake they turn up with isn't a guilt thing afterall !
(hugs)
Poppy

shrtcak81 · 09-05-2008, 08:00 PM

Hi Poppy! Nice to meet you too! It is great to talk with people who understand what I'm going through. My husband says I complain a lot when people are around, but I guess I got so used to doing it that I don't even realize how much I do complain. I guess I just need to keep a lot of it to myself and let it out on here...lol

Crystal