I'm just wondering how the rest of you manage the load of working, kids, housework, etc. Do you struggle to keep the house clean, or just let it go? I look around and see how dusty everything is, see the floors need to be mopped, bathrooms need to be cleaned, etc. but I just don't have it in me to do it all anymore. My hands, elbows and shoulders hurt so bad when I clean. I can't afford to hire someone to do it, so I'm wondering how the rest of you manage this stuff.
lynn, I don't work anymore and I can't handle it. I hire someone to clean for me. She does just the basics, vacuum, mop, clean bathrooms and dust. I don't know what I would do without her. That free's me up to do those once in a while cleaning projects.
So to answer your question, when I was working and had to try to do it all a lot of it just didn't get done. The dust would build up until you could write your name in it. I always tried to keep my bathrooms wiped up but sometimes all but the powder room would go begging. I finally had to have braveman vacuum the carpets for me. I would do the hardwood and sometimes it would take me two days to get it done. It would seriously take me an entire day to clean my kitchen. This was all after my kids were away at college. When they were little I stayed home and my house would be a disaster. I used to wonder how the other moms could keep such a clean house. Then I found out some of them had housekeepers and of course they didn't have fibro. I just didn't know I did either. One day after a meeting at church during preschool the 3other moms and I still had business to discuss and organize and the kids needed lunch. So I said just come to my house I just went to the store and I have stuff to make lunches. We all pull up in my driveway about the same time and go in my back door. There is my kitchen table still loaded with cereal bowls and spills and everything you can think of. All those ladies didn't hesitate one minute, they just started gathering up the dirty dishes putting them in the sink, wiping the table off and fixing lunch for the kids. They acted like it was just a normal thing to them. Thats when I realized I was setting to high a standard for myself and other moms had messes all the time too. I realized that time with my children and family were much more important than a clean house. As my old auntie use to tell me, that dirt will still be there when you get time to clean it up.
I didn't tell you how to do it, but I hope I helped you to feel better about your priorities. Your children and your family and of course your job and when you get to it maybe the house, but only if your children don't want to have some fun with Mom.
Perhaps you can figure out a way to have someone come in at least once a month to do just the basics. Debi the lady that does mine, has her own business and doesn't charge as much as the companies would. She is the sister in law of a lady my daughter in law worked with. Find someone recommended or that has a connection to someone you like or trust. Ask around you would be surprised how affordable it can be.
So sorry my answer turned into a book. I just know how frustrated you are.
Glojer
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm sitting here crying like a baby just from the fact that someone understands how I feel. I used to keep an immaculate house, and work a full time job (with a commute that takes 2 hours out of my day), and jog every day and be the main person to take care of my son. I'm wondering if all the stress from trying to be so "perfect" isn't part of what caused this fibro to begin with. I've been fighting it for two years now - and it has won. It's kicked my butt. I struggle just to make it through the day now, my house is picked up but dirty, I've gained 40 lbs, and my husband just doesn't have a clue what happened to me. Hell, I don't know what happened to me either! Bottom line - this is me now, it's not who I want to be, but most days the fatigue and pain give me no choice. It's so hard for me to accept the fact that I can't do it all anymore ... I just can't. Guess it's time to just have a good long cry and get it out of my system, shake it off and face another day.
Thanks for listening and replying. Understanding and a shoulder to cry on is better than any medicine a doctor can offer.
dear lynn,
i think we have all had to ease up on our standards. i know i have. my neice is coming to visit in october. i am tring like crazy to get ahold of my friend who cleans the house for me. she has not been here since last june and the house looks it. while brother and i keep it neat and tidy, i can see the deep down dirty beginning to climb the walls from the floor.
if i can't get ahold of her in time, my house will be what it is, and i refuse to worry at that point. i used to clean top to bottom when company was coming. no more. i refuse to waste my precious energy cleaning when i can use it playing and visiting.
i live on a fixed income and paying her is a luxury i consider a necessity. so i find a way.
do what you can and forgive yourself the rest. we all do the best we can each day.
peace,
blue
I too am driven nuts by this. I used to keep an emaculate house and run a buisness and raised two girls and a husband. The kids are gone and I have just become officially dissabled this year. Now I try to just keep the kitchen and bathroom clean. Everything else gets done if I feel like it. I am lucky enough to have a husband that will help so now I have it under control but for a while there she was pretty hit and miss. LOL
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