Lost Friendships and Finding Others Who Get It - Fibromyalgia Message Board

JewelryJulie · 04-06-2009, 10:35 AM

I have been very sick now for many years. I have lost all of my friends as healthy people don't understand and they have all moved on. Although I am still sick, I am dealing with it much better now and wish I had some friends again. I wonder how to go about this as I find it strange at my age to be friendless. (I am 38.) I work full time and am a full time single parent. I basically have only one day a week to be social. I am not interested in "church" stuff as I am not religious, so other than that does anyone have ideas? Or, if you are in similar shoes, you can talk about it too, if you want.

Julie

Ishla · 04-06-2009, 01:33 PM

Hi Jewelry!

I hate to say it, but you won't find a lot of "friends" out there in the face to face world who will gladly spend time with an "invalid"

like us, but they're out there. However, you will find here that everyone is your friend in one way or another. Enjoy being part of this "gang" on line as much as you can.

Incidentally.. have you looked into supper clubs? Library? Hung out at the park? I've met many awsome individuals just wandering about .well, I honestly wobble or trip everywhere, tee hee.... but I have acquaintances everywhere. My close friends are the ones my hubby and I get together with regularly to "eat". We have something similar to a supper club.. one couple is vegitarian even, where we get together to share meals. It's wonderful, and you only need to be able to cook occasionally. One couple in our group doesn't do much cooking, but they host a lot... you could possible do something like that too... anyway. I hope I've given you some things to think on, and be sure to enjoy your life, even when it hurts.... you've always got friends here!!

karensbiggestfa · 04-06-2009, 04:55 PM

Jewelry,

I understand where you're coming from. I'm 23 years old and I have a few friends, but no one real close other than my fiance. I rarely post on this message board, but I think I need to come here more, so I can talk to people who understand me. I also decided to go to the next support group meeting for fibro that I have in my area. Perhaps, something like that can help you find some people that not only try to understand, but are actually dealing with the same issues as you. Anyway, everyone on this board seems wonderful, so this is always here to fall back on.

Jenn

JewelryJulie · 04-10-2009, 11:47 AM

Thanks for your support. In my area I tried to meet with the local fibro group, but they are lucky in that most of them have the ability to be unemployed and meet when I am stuck at work. So, I never really get to do that.

Although having friends online is wonderful, it isn't the same as actually leaving my apartment which is part of the desire to find a friend now. I am wanting to leave my "cave" so to speak and need the help of someone who is a bit better off to get me motivated.

I wish I had a man in my life. When I was younger and well, I never thought about these times. I always thought that I could be independent. Now I know that at least if I had a husband, I wouldn't have to do everything alone.

Anyway, thanks for your ears.
Julie

Jfogged · 04-10-2009, 05:10 PM

Julie,

Try to remember what you did before you were diagnosed with this nasty dragon.
I am much older than you, but I tend to meet people in unusual places. Is there a local branch of "Parents w/o Partners" in your area? I have a friend that went to a group function with them and he meet what would about a year later they were married. He has been happily married for almost 8 years and they have 2 sons and a daughter. The sons are the same age and have become great friends who watch over there 2 year old sister.

And yes he has lymme disease as well as fibro. He was upfront about it with her and explained his diagnosis as well as his limitations.

She said that was not a problem, that we all have problems. He treats her like a queen and she treats him like a king.

We have dinner with them about once a month and her and my wife talk about the silly things we do because of fibrofog. Like the keys in the fridge,the milk in the cabinet and the oatmeal in the fridge. We have a blast with them and they are about your age.

Try checking this out as well as the PTA meetings, the library, and venues like that.

I am also not a church guy so I understand that. I also do not believe that you find very good matches in bars. Most guys I know that are into that are not looking for real relationships.

Remember, there is someone out there that is looking for the same things you are.

Good Luck,
John