depression and fm - Fibromyalgia Message Board

Madeofglass · 11-08-2009, 12:54 PM

Hey all. I was diagnosed with fm at the age of 19, but I've been suffering from depression since I was around 10 years old. Sometimes it's been mild, other times severe. Now it's somewhere in between. I was just wondering, how do you people cope with it? What cheers you up? Where do you find the strength to go on? When it comes to me, antidepressants never worked, and man have I tried them all! On top of that, I feel lonely.

untouchableme · 11-09-2009, 08:04 AM

Hi Madeofglass <<hugs>>,

I wish I could give you some tips about dealing w. your depression. I have lived with it, sometimes suffering, sometimes dealing, pretty much my whole life and was diagnosed when I was in my early twenties. I'm now 42 and am currently undergoing the diagnostic process for FM....or MS or....well you get the picture. Anyway, I'm so sorry that AD's don't work for you. I know with me it took a lot of trial and sometimes very painful error to find the right one. I also know that what works for me today may not work next year - or next week. But I have been on Effexor fairly consistently since Spring of 2006 and it does help. I have also had a counselor during some of this time and I do feel that biologically based depression does respond best to a combination of meds and therapy. If you're not currently seeing a therapist/counselor/psych. and you have the means to, I urge you to find someone. Like any other relationship, it may take some time to find the right person but I can't stress enough how important that is. It's exhausting I know but don't give up.

I have recently heard a lot about cognitive behavioral therapy and am planning on trying it next month as part of my treatment for FM. My understanding is that it focuses less on past emotional issues that led to or compounded our depression and instead on coping skills and how to control our emotions. Therapy is usually practiced in a group setting (possibly an antidote to your loneliness) and gives you real world skills. In other words, they don't just tell you you need to focus on something else, they actually teach you how to do that.

If trying to seek out treatment feels too overwhelming right now, I can only suggest that you do some small things that may help. Reading, watching simple shows or movies can take you away for a while. Also, try, try, TRY to get yourself outside for a short walk if you can. Any exercise helps and getting out of the house is very therapeutic. If you don't have anyone to talk to, message boards and hotlines could be the answer for you. I know it feels weird talking to a stranger but depression is a terribly insidious disease that works very hard to keep those of us who have it from seeking help so please do your best to reach out and utilize whatever resources are available to you. An understanding friend or family member is wonderful to have, but if they don't have depression they will never truly "get it" and relationships may become strained which will just exacerbate your depression.

If you work, that can help too if only temporarily. There is something to the old idea of burying yourself in your work. Having to be around others forces us to "act normally". It's stressful but I think it can have some benefit. There's also the payoff of knowing you are contributing to something as depression sufferers often feel worthless - which YOU ARE NOT.

No matter what, don't give up. It's incredibly hard sometimes I know, but try to remember that your depression is treatable and not your fault.

I wish you only the best and send whatever good vibes and strength I have your way. I'm not really sure how this message board thing works but I believe there's a function where you can private message (email?) someone. Feel free to do so to me. I'm currently stuck at home as my body is just not functioning well. If I don't get back to you immediately, don't think it's because you're disturbing me. I will respond, I promise.

If I'm over-reacting to your post, I apologize. I'm not sure how severe your current feelings are but I do know that depression can get bad enough to kill - I have the scars on my wrists and elsewhere as a reminder. I never want to be in that place again and would do just about anything to help someone else from going there.

Take care of yourself, I fully believe you can be okay with depression - even happy

*Best*
a

thesweetlife · 11-09-2009, 08:40 AM

Just to say from everyone I know who has had CBT and those that I know who are CBT counsellors they all say it's fantastic - as you say it's not looking about what's happened in the past it's looking to the future and supporting you in developing strategies to ensure future success - whether it be for depression/anxiety/pain management/eating etc etc

grammy1 · 11-09-2009, 08:35 PM

UNTOUCHABLEME: what you just said touch me dearly. i am that person also. depression has been with me since a child. i dont know how i manage to keep it at bay besides the meds. some days all is well and the next i dont understand why i have to be here. i wanted to know why i didnt go when i had cancer, but i survived. then two years later the fibro came. i couldnt harm myself but i thought i could will myself to die, i believe the mind could do that. strange thing is if i can say this right-this is what happened. my real father died in 99. he abandoned us 5 kids. i did set things right before he passed. one year later almost to the day, my step-father died in my arms and paralized me mentally. again i made things right with him-forgiveness-he sexally abused me from 1st grade to high school. AND I TOLD PEOPLE so i could get help. in those days people just turned their heads. then i developed irratable bowel disease. i was told i would have a colosemy within the year and i said no way. i took matters into my hands because my doctor was a fluke. within a year and a half i was totally healed. then my mom married the perfect husband and step-father. he was with us for only five years and died before he hit the floor. i didnt get to say goodbye. but he was with me to help me get through cancer. then fibro. i have to say this may seem horrible to other people but, if i were standing next to anyone and God said, "one of you are going to have a difficult life, which one will it be?" i would gladly say, "pick me". so yes, sometimes the depression really gets to me and i am always talking to my Jesus asking to make this go away or help me walk down this road. i believe with all my heart, He allowed this to happen so i may help others. i wish i could help everyone. i think it is my human nature to let my past bring me down and i fight with myself. i am better than i use to be. i will be going to cognative behavorial therapy next year. i dont know why i said all of this. i havent talked this much even to the phsyc. i was seeing. anyway i dont feel trained enough or smart enough to talk to someone like you just did. it felt like you were talking to me. you just helped me in an immeasurable way. you touched my heart and my mind. i do believe i will have a better tommorow and the day after. may God richly bless you.
goodnite.

Johna · 11-10-2009, 05:07 AM

Alot of times I wish I had died in the car accident that triggered fibro. This is not how I want to live nor is it how I thought life would be for me at 50. I use to scream and cry " I want my life back" but the more I read about fibro and reading posts on this message board I realize my life changed for good.

Fibro interfers in every aspects of my life from being a mom to being a teacher. I hate it so much because once I think I get it controled I have a flair up and go back to square one.

I have new pains in my body such as sharp pains in my feet near the arch shooting up into the feet. You should see the looks I get when I am out in public and I scream or go ouch.

I take it one minute at a time or hour and pray for just one hour of no pain.

Johna