Join Date: Sep 2009
Re: Unemployed forever?
Its very difficult to get to grips with the restrictions fibro brings. I understand 100%. I have been out of work for eight years and I really enjoyed my job. Every day, same routine, up at 6.30am, shower, breakfast, drive to work. By the time I got to work I had no doubt shouted at a million idiots on the road and they will have done the same to me. I thought nothing of it. I would sit in front of 3 computer screens all day dealing with different companies who owed money. I loved the legalities of it all, if you don't pay then we take your company to court. It was fast moving, on the go all the time. It was a job with power. THEN........I became ill and it all went pear shaped.They didnt know what was wrong for a very long time and I was going out of my head with worry. For years I wanted to go back to work, feel like I was being a part of society again. Bringing in a decent wage, and all the independance that life brought me. I did the why me, why me?.
I have been through ALOT over the years, and that doesn't make me a a know it all, but there comes a time when you just have to accept this, because if you don't it will drive you nuts and that won't help you.
Having fibro is totally life changing, at least it has been for me. The brain fog, the extreme pain, having to use a wheelchair because your legs are so weak, its not a nice illness. However, you do have choices. You can sit there and moan on about how bored you are and how terrible this is, or you can change your outlook and really try to be positive. I no its hard, but it can be done. I don't say this to try and be horrible, I say this from experiance. I am house bound alot of the time, so I find things to do around the house. I paint, I do DIY, all be it small jobs, I cook much more than i used to, and beleive me there is nothing nicer then seeing your kids and your partner come in after work and school and love what you have cooked them. Don't get me wrong, I have not turned into a Stepford Wife, I do things for me aswel, that is is important. Imagine being in reciept of benefits long term rather than earning a high wage like I used to. My pride took a massive fall, but I drove myself into the ground mentally fighting against it. It is life changing but its not the end of the world, it just means realising your limits and working around them. Now when I look back, I actually don't envy people getting up at the crack of dawn, and doing a full days work. I do alot around the house, I try and make sure I get up at a decent time each day and get on with things that need to be done, the difference is, if I am so exhausted I cannot carry on, I CAN go and rest for an hour, there is no way you can do that in the workplace. There is NO WAY I could cope with a full time job, the idea is lovely, the reality is very different.
My family also don't really understand this illness. So that doesn't help. I used to try and prove to them how bad things were sometimes. I don't anymore, why should I?. Again that used to drive me nuts. They would say, but you look well, you could see them glazing over if I talked about it. One of my relatives even thought I would plan when I was really bad, just to get attention. I put them in their box and thats where they have stayed.
On the flip side, I have a fantastic partner who has stuck with me through everything, and the children just accept that mum is who she is. I have a dog, who I adore and yes he needs walking, so I do walk him, but only when I am up to it. He is small so he doesn't need a long walk, but he is great company.
Don't be bored, try and find some things to do, or before you know it life will have passed you by and you will be even more low.
Good luck and try to turn things around, beleive me its not all bad.