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Old 03-12-2010, 12:56 PM   #1
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Madeofglass HB User
Wanting to isolate from people

I'm worried about breaking up with my boyfriend, and ending up all alone forever. I've got no girlfriends. The reason for this is probably somehow related to having fibromyalgia. When you feel distressed, heavy, depressed, afraid, anxious, lonely, out-of-touch with the world, and somehow like you're not as good as everyone else when you're sick at a young age... You just feel like "maybe I'd be better off", all alone, with no one. Bed bound. With nothing going on in your life.

My boyfriend just says that hey, you gotta change your attitude. He doesn't have fibro. He doesn't know what it's like to be depressed. For ten years, and I don't know the way out. I'm chronically ill, with no medication. Doctors see me as a whiner. "Learn to live with it".
Maybe I am. I don't know what to do. I've seen different psychiatrists and psychologists. For 11 years. I've tried all the antidepressants on the market.

Please be understanding.

 
Old 03-12-2010, 01:27 PM   #2
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Re: Wanting to isolate from people

...not to mention IRRITATED, when you get no sleep.

 
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Old 03-12-2010, 03:27 PM   #3
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Re: Wanting to isolate from people

Madeofglass, you and I are having the same kind of week. The health problems can be purely relentless. And it just gets old being a fake. I was told before all of this that I was genuine, a great friend, and I was loved and respected by a lot of family. All that has changed and most of it has to do with being trapped into being a fake. Talk thru that migraine like you don't have one. Walk thru that store like it's not hard. Hang out like you aren't weighed down. If your guy likes intimacy so deep that he's ok with your being yourself, pains and all, hold on to him. Some guys get mad if they can't fix it, but after a while those same guys get it in the end that you just need someone to help carry the load, not hide it or pretend it isn't there. Those guys don't come that way, but the ones who progress to that are priceless. I hope your weekend gets better.
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---cervical injury, fibro, myofasical, carpal tunnel, intercostal neuralgia, migraines, tmj, psoas, osteopenia, dysmenorrhea, rhinitis, adult onset scoliosis... these provoke the irish ire!

 
Old 03-17-2010, 12:02 AM   #4
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Re: Wanting to isolate from people

Madeofglass...you are in a difficult place, to be sure. I want to say don't stay in a relationship that doesn't take care of you. Every individual deserves to be treated with kindness, respect, care, affection, and love.

However, not all relationships will have all these things, all the time.

Only you can decide if the relationship has more pros than cons.

I believe that none of us knows what God has in store for us. But, you can trust that He will never leave you, and loves you just the way you are!

 
Old 03-17-2010, 03:03 AM   #5
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Re: Wanting to isolate from people

Thanks Julie. I think it has more to do with the "problem-solving mind" of a male. I'm sure he wants to help, but he gets sick of the whining when he realizes that there's nothing he can really do about it. Still, this puts me into a bad place.

 
Old 03-17-2010, 05:05 AM   #6
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Re: Wanting to isolate from people

Madeofglass, it does put you in a tough place. I've been there. People who are used to removing obstacles are great in lots of ways because this world comes with lots of obstacles that are better conquered. They raise really tough kids. It takes time for these strong guys to progress into people who understand they can't be God. It rains and shines on all of us -- the good book promises that. He can't change the way of things, but if he wants to be intimate with you, he needs to learn how to say... "that's ok baby, I hate you are going through this, is there anything i can do to help?" They have to be taught because likely their upbringing allowed for no weakness. Their not tolerating "whining" usually has more to do with trying to help, not hurt. In their world, only the tough win and he wants you to win.

But here's the flip side that would be great for him to understand. More fm people have unnecessary surgeries than the regular population. Us pleasers want our pain and whining to stop as well. We'll jump at the first promise of hope and the lack of tolerance creates that environment of impatience. I think your guy just needs more info about how to best help. I think he loves you very strongly in his way.
__________________
---cervical injury, fibro, myofasical, carpal tunnel, intercostal neuralgia, migraines, tmj, psoas, osteopenia, dysmenorrhea, rhinitis, adult onset scoliosis... these provoke the irish ire!

 
Old 03-17-2010, 06:57 PM   #7
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Ace88 HB User
Re: Wanting to isolate from people

I've lost many friends due to fibro...people I was just either too tired, exhausted, socially incompetent to keep in touch with. It is very tough....I just recently went on a cruise and I really hit a low for awhile. Everyone social, partying, successful in their lives, and me who has been sick for 11 years, unable to learn anything new, barely surviving at work, not able to socially connect with anyone..

 
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