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Old 05-13-2010, 06:04 AM   #1
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Sexual problems and fm

Well I have not seen any threads on this. I have not been able to have sex for the past 8 years since having the fibromyalgia. That is why my marriage broke up. Everytime I tried to have sex with my husband I want to hit the cieling. The nerve pain in the vaginal area was so bad. Even without having sex I get a terrible feeling in that area which I cannot describe. Again went to numerous doctors, gyno, dermatologist, nerologist. They can not tell me why I have this. I have been separated from husband for 4 years now. We own a business together and stay married for financial reasons. I decided to try dating but so afraid if it come to having a sexual relationship dont know if I can to it but willing to try again since it has been a long time. So far had no luck in findiing anyone. Tryng dating on internet. Is anyone having this problem with sex and FM? What are your stories?

 
Old 05-13-2010, 06:54 AM   #2
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Re: Sexual problems and fm

hi,
for myself i chose celibacy. i also have issues with vaginal pain. i have date buddies, nice men who hug me, tell me i am beautiful, and take me to nice places and hang out with me. they know sex is not available and are cool with that.
sex is painful and for me not worth it. hugging always feels good.
amazing how fibro can alter a joyful experience. such is life i guess. sometimes i miss the intimacy, but not enough to go thru the pain.
peace,
bluelakelady

 
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Old 05-22-2010, 10:38 AM   #3
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Re: Sexual problems and fm

I also have pain. The muscles in my vagina hurt. Also, I had a pregnancy and delilvered my daughter 4 years ago. Oddly, I had fibro symptoms (pain) in my uterus as soon as she was big enough for me to feel her. It was terrible and I could hardly walk, let alone go through the typical pains of pregnancy. So I am all nervous that I will get pg again, since I got pg while being on birth control and that doesn't help anything in terms of enjoyment.
On the other hand, I am lucky to have a WONDERFUL boyfriend. He is understanding and great. We are only able to take the time we need together about twice/month because it takes a lot of time. It takes massage and lots of relaxation first, and the right position. Then it's GREAT. But, I'm telling you, it takes hours to be relaxed enough not to have effects...kinda like the way we have to stretch and warm up to exercise. lol
But, in the case of...we're going to have a quickie because we're tired...um, I hurt so bad...my hips, everything. I feel 90 yrs old.
I would be really careful and open when dating. I think the partner needs to know all about your illness. Also, beware that in the beginning of a relationship, you have extra endorphins, so it doesn't hurt as bad, so that can be misleading. Good luck!

 
Old 05-22-2010, 11:13 AM   #4
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Re: Sexual problems and fm

I would also like to add that you really have to think outside the box. I am so thankful that my bf is willing to take all that time with me. So, in return, I utilize those methods of pleasing him that make him happy but do not cause me any pain. Also, there are things you can do or even use that will be enjoyable without having intercourse.
On the days that I have to go to work after having sex the night before, I feel 100% better than I usually do, simply because all those endorphins are the greatest medication in the world...better than narcotics. Plus I feel loved.

 
Old 05-24-2010, 03:41 PM   #5
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Re: Sexual problems and fm

I too have problems in this area. I am thankful my boyfriend tries to work with me. We have tried many positions. Actually found a few that work for both of us. We have been together before I started with symptoms. I also have Interstitial Cystitis. when I do not have vaginal pain, I have either bladder pain , both during and after, but I will sometimes have no feeling. He gets extremely frustrated, but I try to help him out when I can.

 
Old 05-25-2010, 04:35 AM   #6
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Re: Sexual problems and fm

Well, it helps to know there are others who have the same thing going on. I was wondering about that. It's not like you can really ask people you don't know well, "Hey, does your vagina hurt?" It's not one of those 17 trigger points! haha. And if you're like me, you are now aware of how inter-related our muscles are! The vagina is connected to the back muscles, is connected to the..., etc. Now we feel everything and everything hurts!

 
Old 05-26-2010, 08:56 AM   #7
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Re: Sexual problems and fm

Quote:
Originally Posted by chicabella View Post
Well, it helps to know there are others who have the same thing going on. I was wondering about that. It's not like you can really ask people you don't know well, "Hey, does your vagina hurt?" It's not one of those 17 trigger points! haha. And if you're like me, you are now aware of how inter-related our muscles are! The vagina is connected to the back muscles, is connected to the..., etc. Now we feel everything and everything hurts!
It not a pain so to speak. I get a strange sensation that is hard to describe and it feels like I want to tear my hair out of my head. I could have it for weeks and then it will disappear. SO SO STRANGE. I want to take my hand and shove it up there to stop it. So annoying. With everything else it gets to be unbearable at times. My back has gotten worse recently but so afraid to go to surgeon and I know I must. Have to get some relief somewhere somehow.

 
Old 05-26-2010, 06:09 PM   #8
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Re: Sexual problems and fm

Cherdox57, I can't imagine what that sensation is like, but I do want to understand because I just like to understand fibro and how this illness may change in myself. Ok, is there any way it could be yeast infection(s) that you're struggling with? That would make it painful. Do you have dryness that makes it painful?
For me, it's just that I have knots of muscle through my whole body...just little knots...and they are in my vagina, so it's all tender, like a bruise. As for the physical activity of bumping bodies with someone, I just can't do that because it hurts my whole body like a truck ran over me...my back, hips, legs, everything. It's sad because, as I said, I don't have much sex. It can be such a pain reliever, but it's really hard to do. Also, it's disappointing when you just want to be conventional, but you can't, you have to be imaginative in order to get pleasure.
Bluelake, I understand you too and the position you're in because I stayed single for years when first diagnosed with fibro and then met an understanding man.

Last edited by chicabella; 05-26-2010 at 06:10 PM.

 
Old 05-26-2010, 10:25 PM   #9
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Re: Sexual problems and fm

Quote:
Originally Posted by chicabella View Post
Cherdox57, I can't imagine what that sensation is like, but I do want to understand because I just like to understand fibro and how this illness may change in myself. Ok, is there any way it could be yeast infection(s) that you're struggling with? That would make it painful. Do you have dryness that makes it painful?
For me, it's just that I have knots of muscle through my whole body...just little knots...and they are in my vagina, so it's all tender, like a bruise. As for the physical activity of bumping bodies with someone, I just can't do that because it hurts my whole body like a truck ran over me...my back, hips, legs, everything. It's sad because, as I said, I don't have much sex. It can be such a pain reliever, but it's really hard to do. Also, it's disappointing when you just want to be conventional, but you can't, you have to be imaginative in order to get pleasure.
Bluelake, I understand you too and the position you're in because I stayed single for years when first diagnosed with fibro and then met an understanding man.
It as though all my nerve endings down there are reeking havoc.It definitely is not a yeast infection for I have been tested numerous times. Dont go to doc anymore because it is a waste of time and money. Gone to a dermatologist a few years ago thought maybe something related to that, but that also was unsuccessful so just live with it acting up here and there. I get this nerve pain throughout my body, In my hands, my mouth thinking maybe it is some sort of neruopathy. Gone to 5 neurologists but they cant seem to help either. I dont know how else to explain it but it drives me crazy. Last time I had sex about 8 years ago my husband could not touch me there felt like electrical shocks. So unpleasant. I hate this illness and it has prevented me from having a normal life. I have a grandchild on the way and want to be there to help out. I just pray I can.

 
Old 05-27-2010, 08:57 AM   #10
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Re: Sexual problems and fm

There's a book called The Trigger Point Therapy I think. Anyways, in the book it describes trigger points in the vagina that can be extremely painful and radiate pain in the bladder and other places. It recommends massaging the trigger points. I don't know if that's a possibility for you ... it would definitely take some time and patience but it might be helpful to you. I don't know, just a suggestion. I have IC in my bladder that radiates pain the all area down and there and when it's acting up I am miserable. It really does stink ... My IC surfaced when I was 18 before the Fibro did. My fibro showed it's ugly head when I was 22 and now I'm 27 and still trying to get 'used to' the pain.

 
Old 07-31-2010, 02:52 PM   #11
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Re: Sexual problems and fm

wow so I guess I really am doomed

 
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