It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Fibromyalgia Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-30-2010, 08:16 AM   #1
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
tooolgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,176
tooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB User
Working

How do you explain to an ignorant boss that you cannot work? I am the only employee to a cats only veterinary hospital. I have been flaring since I had to wrestle a 21 pound cat a few months ago. Now I am at the point where I cannot be away from my bed for long, I have migraines and dizziness. Pain all over, worse in the back and ribs and my legs feel like they are on fire..Nausea most of the time. Sheer exhaustion. He is a non believer and seems to think its a bogus illness. I am frustrated to the point of tears, he sent me an email trying to guilt me into going back to work tomorrow. I am working on a doctors note and don't even know how to begin to explain to him I may not be back until next week. I feel at such a loss because he refuses to hire any help for me, and expects me to do all the vacuuming, mopping, window washing as well as general cleaning that goes with being a technician. As well as manage and run the office. I am so fried.. Any thoughts???

thanks
Sandra

 
Old 06-30-2010, 08:29 AM   #2
Facilitator
(female)
 
bluelakelady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: blue lakes, northern california
Posts: 5,461
bluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB User
Re: Working

hi sandra,
as long as your doctor has you off work he cannot fire you for saying no. if he knew when he hired you, that's his problem. he hired you. his practice is his responsibility, not yours. you just work there. it is for him to adapt. if he cannot hear you now it is doubtful he ever will.
he is responsible for finding someone to cover for you while you are out.
you have to put your health first, no one else will. without your health you cannot work for him or anyone.
please do not let this bring you more stress. it will only make the flare last longer and we don't want that! you do what is best for you.
peace,
bluelakelady

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 06-30-2010, 08:37 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
tooolgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,176
tooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB User
Re: Working

Thank you so much for the support sweetie..he keeps emailing me asking me to go in and help with surgery. I told him I physically cannot..I am working on a doctors note right now. I don't like to be made feel guilty for a condition I have no control over. And I certainly cannot dope myself up and do that kind of work..And it is rougher because he offers no benefits or sick time..he isn't even closing for the holiday Monday..

Bless you for being so kind

Sandra

 
Old 06-30-2010, 08:49 AM   #4
Facilitator
(female)
 
bluelakelady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: blue lakes, northern california
Posts: 5,461
bluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB User
Re: Working

sandra he cannot make you feel guilt. you control that. don't go there, it's not worth it. the wonderful thing about email is you can delete without reading. you do not have to read them. he is playing a co-dependant game and it only works if you play too. so, go take a warm bath or a nap or just veg out. turn off the computer and take care of you.
peace,
bluelakelady

 
Old 06-30-2010, 08:52 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
tooolgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,176
tooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB User
Re: Working

That's the best advice I have heard in a long time..


Many thanks

Sandra

 
Old 07-01-2010, 06:38 AM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: IL USA
Posts: 180
chicabella HB Userchicabella HB Userchicabella HB Userchicabella HB Userchicabella HB Userchicabella HB User
Re: Working

I agree with what Bluelake said. She is a wise lady! Sounds like a game.

One thing I am considering doing at work is communicating with my boss other aspects of my illness than just fibromyalgia. Fibro is just not accepted or understood, so I may say something about my "spinal nerve pain issues" or something like that.

I hope you are able to rest and get well enough to work soon!

 
Old 07-01-2010, 08:04 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
tooolgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,176
tooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB User
Re: Working

Thank you so much Chicabella, I am hoping to feel better soon too. It just seems every day is a little bit worse..I see my doctor next Wednesday and I have to get a note for work. Stuff I do is way too strenuous for me, throws me into flares constantly and I need to be excused from those duties. I agree about people not believing FMS is real, I know my boss told me before I got really bad that fibro was for lazy people who wanted to collect from the gov't and not have to work...

I also have CFS and a rare form of colitis.

hugs
Sandra

 
Old 07-01-2010, 10:32 AM   #8
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: IL USA
Posts: 180
chicabella HB Userchicabella HB Userchicabella HB Userchicabella HB Userchicabella HB Userchicabella HB User
Re: Working

I have CFS too and the work I do is too hard for me too. I am a first grade teacher, and no one knows how much energy it takes to care for 24 little kids all day, every day until you actually do it. It is sooo taxing on me. Plus there are physical strains such as lugging books and materials around, etc. I HATE recess duty and freezing outside. IL is always cold. I do not leave work at 3:00. That is a myth about teaching. I typically work 9 hr days, at least due to morning duties and afterschool meetings. I don't get decent breaks simply because we have so much work piled on us from the state, I have to work through my breaks or I won't get it done.

Hope your dr. is able to get your fibro under control. I suffer and put up with the terrible, terrible pain just so I can keep my job. I know I prob look like hell in the morning, but I try really hard to smile and do things to motivate me...like if I work all week, I get a treat at the end of the week.

The other teachers in my building don't understand fibro at all. They do not want me to have preferential treatment in any way. I have not demanded it because it's important to my stress level to maintain good relationships with them.

I would definitely use another term to describe your illness to him. Too bad fibromyalgia has such a bad rap!

 
Old 07-01-2010, 11:41 AM   #9
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
tooolgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,176
tooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB User
Re: Working

My doctor called me at her lunch today and told me she was faxing my boss a note excusing me from the strenuous aspect of my job. And that I probably wouldn't be back until after I am reevaluated next Wednesday. He is going to be so mad..But it is HIS responsibility to get a temp or hire someone to do the heavy work. Do you know if he can legally fire me?

Thank you so much

Sandra

 
Old 07-02-2010, 06:48 AM   #10
Facilitator
(female)
 
bluelakelady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: blue lakes, northern california
Posts: 5,461
bluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB Userbluelakelady HB User
Re: Working

no he cannot. you can sue him if he does.
peace,
blue

 
Old 07-15-2010, 03:21 AM   #11
Member
(female)
 
wondering kay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 69
wondering kay HB User
Re: Working

Your boss sounds like a very uneducated person, on the subject of fibro and cfs, we are not by any means lazy on the contrary we are probally the hardest working people around since it takes so much out of us just to get thru the day and night. Take care and get rested. Kay

 
Old 07-15-2010, 07:19 AM   #12
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
tooolgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,176
tooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB User
Re: Working

Thanks Kay,

He still pressures me to go in for surgeries etc. Until I can get back to my "full job", which entails all kinds of brutally strenuous janitorial work which I was NOT trained nor hired to do. He is just too cheap to hire an assistant for me. So I am still out of work, I cannot sleep at night unless I take xanax with trazodone and I cannot roll out of bed before 8. I am going back on gabapentin at a higher dose so will see how that goes. I don't even know how to get myself together to get back to work. Now he is telling me he doesn't know how much longer he can hold my job, I told him to let me go. He refuses as he will never pay for unemployment. Ugh, anyway, thanks for caring and listening to me vent.

gentle hugs...

Sandra

 
Old 07-16-2010, 04:20 AM   #13
Member
(female)
 
wondering kay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 69
wondering kay HB User
Re: Working

Hope all goes well for you Sandra I'm not doing to well at my job either, do hotel cleaning, moved switched to new place load is doubled.Maybe well both find easier jobs Hope med switch helps, take care. Kay

 
Old 07-16-2010, 04:55 AM   #14
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
tooolgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,176
tooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB Usertooolgrl HB User
Re: Working

Awww, you are a sweetheart Kay, thank you so much. I took the gabapentin at bedtime with trazodone and I did sleep better, woke up once and that was it. Which is so much better than I usually do. My doctor wants me to file for disability. I don't know what to do..lol.

hugs

Sandra

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
working together mangoes Relationship Health 8 02-26-2008 12:52 PM
disability and working joyce123 Disabilities 14 04-11-2007 05:27 AM
Feeling awful after working out! j2006 Exercise & Fitness 5 03-17-2007 10:21 AM
To all the working mothers out there sumi Infant Care (up to 18 months old) 9 07-16-2006 10:43 PM
Why Do Meds Stop Working?? boricuaitaliano ADD / ADHD 9 07-10-2006 01:32 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Ambien
Cymbalta
Effexor
Elavil
Flexeril
  Neurontin
Percocet
Tylenol
Ultram
Vicodin




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



bluelakelady (366), WoodsWalker (132), thefarm (111), Glojer (103), tooolgrl (94), biogirl71 (88), janewhite1 (85), kirstee (60), monalisa24 (55), caribear (41)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1165), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:19 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!