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Old 04-09-2011, 03:58 AM   #106
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

Glojer, that has been my mantra as well. I let karma and fate dictate what happens, because you cannot change people or their ways. You can only change within yourself. I am the best person I can possibly be. Not perfect by any stretch, but the best that I can be. Once you learn to love yourself then everything else falls into place. I am constantly evolving and learning more and more about myself, my mind, soul and body, and have finally learned to be at peace with myself. It is to me, the only way to be..lots of love..hope you feel well and have some of your energy back. B12 is rocking good stuff!!
love and peace
Sandra xoxo

 
Old 04-09-2011, 07:10 AM   #107
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

My philosophy of Life these days:
Lack of planning on your part.....DOES NOT Constitute an Emergency on my part!!!


I'd love to do more for my family-But, I'm the one that has to suffer if I over do it!!! And, then to top it off...some of em just expect it and don't appreciate it..just a couple of em..

I've had to learn to say no when I need too...That's been the biggest hurdle for me. I was a go getter...doing more then the average person would/could do..but, these days I'm laying low...out of sight, out of mind...
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Old 04-09-2011, 07:36 AM   #108
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

hi girls,
learning to say no is very hard. fortuantly for me no one asks me to do things for them. i offer when i am able, tho i am seldom taken up on it. they offer to do things for me. yea, i am one very lucky girl! i got so good at saying no that no one asks anymore, giggle.
glojer i hope you get some rest and take time for yourself. call a girlfriend and have a good chat. chick time is so healthy. even if it's just the phone. giggle. sending you my wonderwoman suit, you may need it. don't abuse it tho, giggle. we know where that leads!!!
debbie love it! i respond the same way, giggle. i tell my kids when they get in over their heads, you dug the hole you learn to get out. they do. all my grandkids are at least 40 minutes away so dropping them at nanas is way out of the way.
i do get to do easter with jackies babies. very excited about that. not religious, but i do love egg hunts and candy and children. giggle. giving the kids a bit of art and no doubt some homemade cookies or bread. these days i don't load them up with sugar, giggle, like i did with my older grandkids. with jackies kids i am careful, she is so tired all the time she does not need a nana who sends her kids home hyper on sugar.
peace and love to all,
blue
ps. massage day again!!! 2 in one week. my fanny is going to get spoiled. giggle. jackie is coming too so that means mexican food! yum!

 
Old 04-09-2011, 07:40 AM   #109
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

sandra,
i have seen you grow so much since you joined in 04. i remember what you were like when you started. i sense inner peace that was not there 5 years ago. growing is a good thing. so is health junk. brings us to what really matters in life.
got bubba hollering again. gotta go.
peace, giggles and love,
blue

 
Old 04-09-2011, 09:17 AM   #110
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

Blue, that brought tears of joy to my eyes. I was such a mess and did not know who I was then. These boards and my beautiful friends have been blessings to me. I truly love who I've evolved into, finally, my true self. At peace. Thank you from my heart and soul...

 
Old 04-09-2011, 01:07 PM   #111
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

Too bad I wasn't there to watch you grow, sounds like you came out ok tho

I had some fun yesterday, found a new wooden mini chest of sorts from IKEA. It's 18"x11" and 8" deep with 5 drawers. And the best part is it's raw wood so I can woodburn it!!
Another fun project.

Today I spent my energy opening the camper and starting the spring clean and loading up all the stuff that would have froze. Back at it tomorrow and then I am ready to get outdoors!

Keep your fingers crossed that spring will stay this time.

 
Old 04-10-2011, 06:19 AM   #112
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

sandra it has been an honor to witness your evolution. i do remember what a mess you were, closed eyes, closed ears and a broken heart waiting to bleed out her pain and find joy. like a flower you have opened and the beauty that is you shines. namaste girlfriend!
WW, how delightful. a new "canvas" to paint with fire! it's fun when you find something unique to create on. cleaning the camper, how exciting just thinking of the freedom to travel and enjoy all there is to see, touch, smell and hear.
all is well within today. flare is silent so far today, so is fanny. little blessings. must be time to hit tonka and fly! giggle. if the grandkids come over you know i will!! i get to do the egg hunt and candy filled basket thing with them end of the month here at my house. lots of room to hide eggs here. giggle.
peace within, peace without, be love, be peace, be joy,
blue

 
Old 04-10-2011, 08:21 AM   #113
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

Namaste dear heart..sometimes I look back over all those old posts and wonder who on earth that girl was. I remember sitting on the bedroom floor while the monster verbally abused the crap out of me, me crying apologizing for what I did wrong. Which was nothing. And on and on that went. When I finally reached out for help that was the beginning of the real Sandra emerging. What a life changing experience, and to have become who I am today I won't say it was worth it, but I have always learned the hard way. I only regret the children that were involved, and the pets that he flushed down the toilet, alive, his and my daughters pet hamsters. I also harbor very ill feelings that the government gave him free back surgery, a place to live, and work. But he is upstate a bit, and hopefully I never see his face or hear his voice again. I thank you for your support my dear, sweet friend..Fear is not a part of my life anymore. Happiness is. I love you all here, very much..
peace and love and blessings of the day
Sandra

 
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Old 04-11-2011, 07:32 AM   #114
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

giggle, i remember when you were work, giggle. now you are a gift every day that brings a big smile to my face. so glad those days are over for you. yea, the babies go thru it the most. mine too. sometimes being hard headed is not a good thing. giggle. did i mention my head was hard as a rock back then? giggle. now it's like cheese cloth, everything just runs thru and out, giggle. even stuff i want to remember, giggle.
thinking of you today and wishing you all the best on your interviews.
me and my fanny are going outside again for a fanny break. talking to mother, sending you yes energy.
love and peace and best of luck,
blue

 
Old 04-11-2011, 08:01 AM   #115
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

Love you sweetie..you are the best. The storms here are still happening. Drove 45 minutes home from first interview in it. Love it...Next interview at noon. Only 9 miles from home. The first one went great, awesome holistic womens clinic. I would love it, unfortunately the pay is not worth the travel time. 34 miles. Gas is $3.84 a gallon. Pay is way less than I was making veterinary. Can't do it. Would be making less per week than unemployment. So we shall see what the next one offers, probably close to the same. Entry level positions pay squat. I have two resumes out to a couple vets that are hiring for techs. Hopefully I hear back. That's the only way I can make money..Thanks for the well wishes..Dancing in the t-storms with you..Soo much fun!! xoxoxoxoxo wishing you a fine not sore fanny..
love and peace and lightning bolts
Sandra

 
Old 04-11-2011, 12:44 PM   #116
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

Ok so one interview down and you know can't do it. That is progress, even though it seems disappointment, it is still moving forward. So glad you had the chance to interview. I do remember you being on the board for a while Sandra, but can't remember anything different about you then. That is a good thing, because I really like this you. Sorry you had such hard lessons to learn in your early years. My daughter is one of those who have much to learn and dose it the hard way. She is a new soul and has to learn so much in this early time. Our son is an old soul as am I, he moves a little easier through this life, having learned in so many of his past lives.

Blue, enjoy your beautiful day. Take fanny for a walk and plan all those special hiding places to help out the Easter bunny.

Glojer

 
Old 04-12-2011, 04:14 AM   #117
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

Glolove..How are you dear one? You are very special in my heart..I have been posting on the health boards since 2004, but not on this board. I was married, as you all probably know by now, to a very narcissistic, psychotic, sociopath. Whose true colors did not come out until the mortgage was signed in my name only, vehicles in my name only. You get the picture. Anyway, the abuse started, drugs etc..I sought help on the health boards. Just people to talk to as I had nobody. After talking on the boards for awhile, I finally got the courage to seek outside help. I started going to a support group for battered women, basically hiding in the basement of a church. When he sliced his own arm open, had me arrested and had his son vouch for him that was the last straw. I lost my credit, had to file bankruptcy, lost my home. Everything. I managed to secure a job, financed a car. Him and his son came to my daughters where I was staying and in broad daylight stole it. The police said because we were still married it was considered his property and it was ok for him to steal it. I am not kidding, nor am I exaggerating in the least. I finally got another job. Worked my way back up from the sludge I was left in and made it to where I am today. Personally the journey was the hardest I ever had to do. And many times I did not think I would make it. But I am so happy with who I have evolved into. Never again will a man dictate my life. An equal partner? Sure, but never, ever again...I am dirt poor, my credit is still in the toilet, but happiness cannot ever be measured by monetary goals. I am at peace. He is out of prison and living a couple hours up the coast. Not great, but better than 10 miles away..I have no fear in me anymore. Thank you all so much for being so crucial in my recovery. I am still evolving to this day. And the blessings of those here around me are those I will cherish in my heart for as long as I live...namaste..peace..love..
Sandra xoxoxoxo
ps the jobs..lol..all good life experiences and when I get to meet wonderful, caring people I consider it well worth while, no matter the outcome. Life is an adventure. I wish to live it to the fullest..xo

 
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Old 04-12-2011, 08:58 AM   #118
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

WOW Sandra, you have overcome so much in your life. I applaud you for picking up the pieces and making it back to where you are now. After all that then dealing with the FM, you're a tough girl. Keep on keepin' on!

Welcome to the dirt poor club, My feet are dirty too. I've been unemployed for a while now and so has my husband. We scratch by somehow. If the gas/fuel prices would drop we'd have a couple more $$ in our pockets. I drive a truck with a diesel motor and diesel was $4.29 at one station I passed yesterday...YIKES! We won't be camping to far from home this year.

I wore myself out in the camper Saturday, even took a small nap out there! Slept off and on a good deal of Sunday. I think I finally rebounded and ready to get a few things done around here today.

The sun is out, not freezing so it's looking up outside. We all need more sunshine!

 
Old 04-13-2011, 03:34 AM   #119
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

Hugs abound to all of you..It is a tough world out there. Making ends meet for me is just impossible right now. My fibro has flared up since yesterday, had an incident here at home where I had to evict my youngest daughters boyfriend. He left, she went too, much to my agonizing sadness. Oldest daughter and her hubby are here. They are helping me financially until I get back to work. But my real issue right now is my youngest and her poor decisions regarding this boy/man she loves..I am not going to go into details, but the eviction was long in coming. I just have no guts. lolol. So little miss fibro thought she would kick me while I was down. Little does she know I know how to fight back now..I learned that here from the pros..lolol...Yes I have been through a lot in my 51 years, but so has everyone in this grand journey..I count my blessings that I wake up to breathe another beautiful day..my heart is wrecked with sadness at the loss of my girl, but I do know it is temporary. She will come back to me, she is not ready to be done needing a mom. Heck, I am not done needing a mom, and tell mine all the time not to think about checking out anytime soon..lolol..even though we butt heads on everything and are ying and yang I still can't imagine her gone, bad enough dad is here with me in spirit only..Enough of my blather. How is everyone feeling??? Glo?? How are you and the grandkids?? Aren't they just the best thing ever?? I look at pics of my lil guy when I feel sad and it always brightens the gloomiest days..Unconditional love. And honesty..Woodswalker, how are you dear one?? Would love to see your Ikea piece when you get finished, I do so love a creative mind..and Blue, my dear sweet one, how is the fanny?? How are you feeling?? May the hummingbirds be buzzing in your face this morning out there in northern cali..love you all my dear, wonderful friends. Even though we are all miles away, you all are right here in my heart. I am thankful...xoxoxoxoxo
peace and love and warm spring breezes(45 degrees here at 6:30 a.m.!)
Sandra

Last edited by tooolgrl; 04-13-2011 at 03:35 AM. Reason: Just dorkness this early!!

 
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Old 04-13-2011, 06:21 AM   #120
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Re: me and my fanny, or fell and went boom part two

hi ladies,
sending hugs on the winds, for healing hearts. wisdom in the suns heat, for daughters and sons. patience in the blade of grass, for all parents waiting. compassion in the heart of a flower, for our child adults. peace in the stars above, for gentle minds.
no aspect of parenting is easy. harder as they become adults. it is not easy to stand by and watch our babies walk off the cliff, yet we must. we had our turn being their age and making choices that lacked wisdom while our mothers stood by and watched, holding their hearts hoping we would wake up or at least survive the choice we made.
it is the circle of being.
ww, hope you get to go camping soon. i miss that. my best camping buddy died 35 years ago and it never was the same. now i just remember and giggle. i was a tent camper and methinks the body is a bit aged for that! giggle.
i snapped one of the bolts on my valve cover. off to the mechanic this morning. glad i kept the old one so we can use a bolt from it. i could do it myself, however, wisdom dictates i not do it and just pay for an easy fix and no stress on me. i sure was saying compost alot when i did it, giggle. nothing sounds like that popping of a bolt snapping. who knew i had that much strength? not me!!
i will be away tomorrow. another fanny procedure, ablations again. this time my feet will be touching the stars, both north and south. should be good for a few laughs and many jokes. giggle.
doc today in ukiah, no big deal, then over to jackies house to give some nana hugs to my grandkids and son-in-law. my daughters mom is using drugs again. meth is her drug of choice. she called to dump monday. it is a sad long story. i have much empathy for the mom and my daughter and her family.
ah, the trials and tribulations of life. they bring is tears, wisdom and later laughter.
peace, love, healing hearts,
blue

 
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