I had an upper respiratory infection a few weeks ago and can't seem to really get back to normal. (well, the fibro normal, which is different than others' normal). Now that the allergy season is kicked in I am fighting between that, the leftover infection, fibro and the beginning of menopause. I am sooooo tired all the time, and so sore that life is becoming harder to deal with. I have the desire to work, and do, but it is just killing me. I have several part time jobs as my old job is not busy due to the economy, so I am all over the place just trying to keep my head above water. I can't afford any extras, like acupuncture, chiro, massage and even meds. too expensive to do a trial and error as I am suddenly allergic to so many things. After work yesterday I slept for over two hours and was in bed by 10. Really? On a weekend? It's getting hard to stay positive. I am still doing it, at least on the outside to everyone else, no pint in the rest of the suffering since I am not happy, but it's wearing on me. I am trying to exercise again because I know it's better, but that is really a chore. My TMJD is really an added problem, eating is hard, sleeping not good and my jaw is locking. I am a mess.
I hate just sitting here having a pity party, but I needed to get it out. If it's too much of a downer, I apologize, but it does help to write it out.
Thanks for listening.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: tmrots
caribear (05-08-2011),mgm55 (05-08-2011)
Hey sweetie, I totally understand what you are going through. Life is so much harder when fibro is rearing its ugly little head. It makes it hard to stay positive for certain. And working while having fibro, especially at several jobs has got to be killer. I know just working a regular schedule is killer. I cannot even begin to imagine several jobs. It is hard making ends meet these days, I would never be able to survive without help from my daughter and son in law who live with me. I don't know how people survive on disability benefits, they pay so little. I start a new job this week, 40+ hours, and I know I am going to be exhausted until I get back into a routine. But I am grateful to finally have a job so I can get caught up on bills, eventually..I know it is hard to stay positive, try to think of things that make you happy. For myself, being home for these past few months has allowed me to rest up a lot, but I also find it is easy to get into a rut of just being home all the time. Being out and with people is good for the mind and body. Being positive has a direct affect on how we perceive pain, good endorphins make us feel good..I am also in perimenopause, and that can drag you down as well. I cannot afford any extras, it is all I can do to be able to afford food each week. Are you taking any meds at all?? I get some of my meds through the hospital prescription assistance program, and I am so grateful for that. There are resources out there, my NP turned me on to a bunch of helpful programs. I wish you well, and hope that today you can get the rest your mind and body needs. Don't ever feel bad for ranting and raving, we are all here to help and support each other..sending warm rays of sun and healing light and energy..xoxo
peace and love
Thanks for the warm words. I wish you luck with the new job. 40+ hours? whew! That's good and bad all at once, right? Yes, I feel fortunate that work is coming in, but it's still not nearly enough. I often think something steady, one 40 hour + would be better than this piecemeal work, but that's not easy to find either. We will get through this, I do get that it could be much, much worse, I really do, I just am struggling a bit getting there. It'll be fine, I just wish that when I do work and feel crummy for it, the pay would at least be better. Then it would feel worth it. Better times are ahead.
I wholeheartedly agree..Jobs are so scarce, and the pay is lousy, at least here in Maine. I would have never thought it would take me 5 months to find a job, and a totally different career path. But at least my new job isn't physically demanding. I could never do grueling veterinary work anymore. At least administrative is not strenuous. I don't think I could handle a full week for long if it were. I really hope you start to feel better. I have been trying to get as much rest as possible this weekend, but with family visiting it is impossible. I intend to shoo them all out of here early today so I can get rested up before my day tomorrow. I hope you can get some good rest yourself. Be good to you. I know it is hard, and the economy and gas prices and food prices are insane, but these are things we can't control. Take small steps, don't forget to breathe. Easy for me to say, I am my own worst enemy, lolol..
peace and love