I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 3 days ago..i have been hurting for several years and had been in a abusive relationship for about 6 years and still dealing with the same person for the last 4. I had told my doctors for a long time about pain in my legs and i was always tired..sometime very severe. Last may i was pushed into a wall and my collarbone was broke very badly, since then i have had 3 surgeries and the pain has been everywhere and fatigue was unbearable. i couldnt get out of bed in the mornings without feeling like i was 100. I started therapy 2 months ago for my shoulder and they discovered a whole lot of knots or trigger points. So i went to a pain specialist who ran every test in the world (or so it seemed..lol) and finally was able to give me the diagnoses. I have 2 young children and since ive started hurting so much I feel like such a bad mom. I was always all about them..played with them all day, read book, colored, brought them everywhere. Now i get so irritable and grouchy i cant stand it. I love them more than anything and wish i could figure out a way to help calm this. I also am more outspoken than i have ever been in my life. I used to be paranoid and worried that i might make someone mad or hurt there feeling and now i (usually) could careless. The medicine is helping alot with the Pain and Fatigue. Anyone else deal with this? Any suggestions?...I am almost in tears typing this cause i hate these mood swings.. Thank you all for listening.
The following 4 users give hugs of support to: vanacruz anderjam (05-22-2011), caribear (05-23-2011), fusionqueen (05-28-2011), yumm yumm (05-27-2011)
hi,
i remember those days well. i realized i was mad at myself for things i had no say over. being angry about pain is pointless. being grouchy because you can't do the things you want is not going to make you feel better. it's just going to make everyone around you sad and afraid. even you.
you and only you decide your mood. not your body, not your abuser. from one battered woman to another i say don't let that energy get in your way. it will always be there in some form, but you can choose to let it run your life or not. i chose not.
at some point you have to choose paths. the one that leads to frustrations over who you are not anymore, or the one that says "this way to the new you" and discover the talents and abilities you do have. fibro is an eye opener to how much emotions play into health. it feeds on anger, frustration, fear, anxiety, stress, and vomits up pain.
choosing to be happy no matter what life brings eases the sting of the stuff that does come.
i wish you peace as you journey on into the relm of fibro and healing from abuse. you have been in the worst hades there is. glad you got out!!!
peace,
bluelakelady
The Following User Says Thank You to bluelakelady For This Useful Post: vanacruz (05-22-2011)
Hi there! I know the grouch well! I think that constant pain takes its toll on us, more than anyone can know. I try to eat right, stretch, and sleep. Stress is a real bummer, too. I bet that you are a better mother than you think. Many prayers and healing hugs for your abusive situation. Diane
The Following User Says Thank You to biogirl71 For This Useful Post: vanacruz (05-22-2011)
Hey there,
I know how you feel... I've been pretty grouchy also. Before CFS it I was very mellow, never in a bad mood, ect. But it all hit in 99. My kids wouldn't know who I was if I was normal again. I'm always pretty moody I think. But, who wouldn't be? I mean, it's ok for others when they are sick & tired, stands to reason why we are...
One thing I have noticed... If I am exhausted & hurting yet still having to run around & make dinner, clean, ect I get more & more irritable. It wouldn't be so bad if my 4 kids & hubby weren't such slobs. My youngest is 18 months, then we have a farm. I always have way to much on my plate... I think I'd been in a better mood if it weren't like this all the time... Resting seems to make a world of difference...
Also, I was on neurontin once & it made me extremely moody. I have an appt with my Rhumetologist soon (can't figure out where I wrote the date & time at).... Anyhow, I think I'm going to see about trying it again since the only things I'm taking right now is muscle relaxers, tramadol & wellbutrin...
Anyhow, If you can have the kids help you with chores it really does make less work for you.. If hubby could help out more, this is also helpful.... You would feel less overwhelmed... Course, my hubby doesn't do much around the house, outside work yes... I wish he would help more with the house & kids though... But then, he's to busy being frustraited about the fact that I don't help him like I used to outside...
I get frustrated because i dont get much sympathy from anyone..my family acts like it cant be that bad, cause yeah ive not been doing as much lately but im not in the hospital or anything.
They have no idea. My mom even told me that maybe i needed to work more cause maybe my body has just gottn used to not doing enough lately..im like you have to be kidding?..
Plus my house seems to be the neighborhood kid meeting place and it drives me nuts... i just started not even allowing them in my house. if they wanna play then stay outside but my kids wear me out enough, i dont need everyone else's.
Thanks for letting me vent..haha
Oh Yes, we're the place where the kids go to play. We have almost 4 acres & a farm with lots of animals & pets, a creek to catch critters in, ect. A close friend of mine has 4 kids also & they don't have television. So, the kids love being able to watch tv here on a big screen lol Luckily they are really good kids & like our own & I can send them all out to play. Unfortunate, we have friends that like to come over & hang out (adults) & always seems to be a mess once everyone leaves... ugh
My husband has told me I'm just depressed, that I'm giving up, that I just don't feel good because I'm not as busy as I used to be, ect. But then sometimes I think he understands... the times when I'm laid up on the couch & sick... But then in no time he makes comments... I've had people tell me that my drs are wrong, I am just low in vitamin B, ect. Um hello, I've had just about every test imaginable. Oh, then there is the fact that most people don't believe in fibro.
I don't think it's so much sympathy as understanding. You'd think our loved ones would be more understanding...
Hi Vana, I hope that you got out of that abusive relationship with the least amount of trauma possible. I was in an abusive marriage and it took me a long time to find myself after. My fibro was diagnosed while I was with him. Big surprise there. I have found in my journey that I can choose to be positive and happy, or I can choose to be negative and grumpy. I noticed when I was negative everyone around me was as well. I chose the path to happiness, it took a very good psychiatrist, an awesome medical provider and family support. It takes time for your family to come to grips with fibro, lots of people do not believe it exists. My own mum never believed it until she saw first hand what it did to me. Please remember you are beautiful and awesome. Don't ever let anyone take that from you. You are a mom, there is no better job in the world. None as difficult as well. When you feel down think of the things in your life that are good. You will see that you have been blessed, fibro is just a hurdle. You can handle it, you are strong. We all have setbacks, but keep your eyes on your goals. Baby steps. Recovering from an abusive relationship takes many many years. My ex has recently been released from federal prison and lives a couple hours north of me. I hope never to cross paths with him again. But no man will ever do to me what he did. I learned a very valuable lesson from it all. And it is one I will never forget. I have gained the confidence I need to be independent and to love myself as I am. Life is good...be well and post often, we care...xoxo
peace and love
Sandra
Hi everyone, I'm glad to find this blog. I have fibromyalgia for 7 years with RA and sjogrens i know what you are going thru, i been in severe pain since 2003 and believe me having fibro and ra is not fun,i'm taking morphin 3 times daily,and it helps a little .
To all just hang in there and be positive,
Hi everyone, I'm glad to find this blog. I have fibromyalgia for 7 years with RA and sjogrens i know what you are going thru, i been in severe pain since 2003 and believe me having fibro and ra is not fun,i'm taking morphin 3 times daily,and it helps a little .
To all just hang in there and be positive,
Welcome YummYumm!
I'm Sorry you are having such a rough time, you have a triple whammy...
Hopefully you have a good support system, so important...
Yumm Yumm..I see you have Fibro with RA...I have MS and Fibro...and it drives me batty when people say you can't have 2 diseases...anyway my sister has RA and I BET she has Fibro too from her symptoms...do you have a good Rhuemy where you live..I live close to there and not sure of the dr my sister sees except he is VERY far away!!
Hi Vana, I hope that you got out of that abusive relationship with the least amount of trauma possible. I was in an abusive marriage and it took me a long time to find myself after. My fibro was diagnosed while I was with him. Big surprise there. I have found in my journey that I can choose to be positive and happy, or I can choose to be negative and grumpy. I noticed when I was negative everyone around me was as well. I chose the path to happiness, it took a very good psychiatrist, an awesome medical provider and family support. It takes time for your family to come to grips with fibro, lots of people do not believe it exists. My own mum never believed it until she saw first hand what it did to me. Please remember you are beautiful and awesome. Don't ever let anyone take that from you. You are a mom, there is no better job in the world. None as difficult as well. When you feel down think of the things in your life that are good. You will see that you have been blessed, fibro is just a hurdle. You can handle it, you are strong. We all have setbacks, but keep your eyes on your goals. Baby steps. Recovering from an abusive relationship takes many many years. My ex has recently been released from federal prison and lives a couple hours north of me. I hope never to cross paths with him again. But no man will ever do to me what he did. I learned a very valuable lesson from it all. And it is one I will never forget. I have gained the confidence I need to be independent and to love myself as I am. Life is good...be well and post often, we care...xoxo
peace and love
Sandra
Do you believe that the abuse caused the fibo? Im starting to think that is what did it. I never knew what kind of mood my ex would be in, if he was going to freak out and snap or just yell or if he would be normal, and so i was always tense, always nervous and always anxious for 6 years. Then we were off and on for the next 3 years..I was wanting to get away from him but, he had me convinced that i should be with him because we have kids and they deserve a family thats together..then he broke my collarbone last year..very badly. I have had 3 surgeries in a year and although i have been in pain for around 2 or 3 years, after the break the pain has gotten so bad that i have a hard time getting out of bed and when he calls or when he fights with me, i can tell i hurt even worse.. Although, stress makes it worse period.
Being a single mom with a family that i do not believe has any idea how much i hurt makes it even worse. I know it will get better, finding a doctor who believes me made things better already. I also know it will be a long road.
Thanks for post
Its a comfort to know others know how I feel and dont make me feel like a lazy bum or a liar or that im just crazy..That was what i was starting to think..that i was just nuts..lol.
So thank you
They say Fibro is triggered by a stressful event or injury...
Sounds like you'd had a really tough time. It's wonderful that you got away. I"m just sorry that if it's not one thing... It's another...
My ex played allot of head games. When we divorced I thought it was all over & life would be good, even being a single mother with 2 kids at the time. But it got really bad. He & his girlfriend (wife now) gave me hell... Had to get a restraining order... He was mad so we then spent the next 3 yrs in court because he decided he wanted the kids (didn't at first). He made accusations against me all the time so I had to go to court & prove him wrong, having to have Dr's, Teachers, ect to back me up. I was brought into court sometimes 3 times a month. atleast once a month. I attorney fees were $19,000. Even though I was making payment, my attorney wanted to hold my house as collateral & have control of it. I said no, so he dropped my case. Defending myself I was able to settle the case quick & cheap! lol Anyhow, I was constantly stressed for 3 yrs. I'd get so stressed I made myself sick all the time.
In 05 I hurt my back really bad.
I was also abused by my step dad from the time I was 5-13. It sucks being afraid of someone all the time... I eventually found forgiveness.
Not sure if it was the stress or the injury... I have had Chronic fatigue since 99, before all of this so wonder if I would of had Fibro eventually anyways.
I guess no matter how it happened, we have it... No use pointing fingers. One thing I have learned is that life is to short to be bitter. It doesn't mean I have to forgive anyone, just that I can put it at the back of my mind & not let it control me. I don't stress or worry about the past because it is the past. I do think that being abused as a child made me the strong person I am today
hate feeling grouchy 
Re: hate feeling grouchy 
