I've had fibromyalgia (FMS) as long as I can remember, though I was diagnosed as a teenager. I've tried medication, I've tried acupuncture, I've tried chiropractic, I've tried physical therapy, I've tried a gluten-free diet, and now I'm trying supplements. The dr. I'm seeing now says that, if they find the right combination of supplements OR find a delayed-reaction food disorder I may have & treat it, then I should be healed of FMS and if I become pregnant, my baby won't get FMS. Sounds shady, I know, but I had high hopes...
I've taken the supplements for 6 months, and since they haven't worked wonders (though I do have a little more energy more often and more color in my skin), it looks like I'll either have to get vitamin C injections and/or get tested & treated for food allergies. And none of this, by the way, is covered by insurance!
I'm starting to wonder if I should just start buying supplements myself, trying different things and seeing what helps me. That'd be much cheaper than this! But I can't help but feel guilty, wondering if my child (I'm not pregnant yet, but...) gets FMS, if I should have stuck with it longer for his or her sake.
I don't know where to go from here. I want to have a baby and start a family, but if there really is the possibility of being healed first that'd be ideal (though I suppose if it really was just a food allergy that both me and the child could deal with that after he/she is born).
If I stop going to this doctor, I'll have to find another one, and that doesn't sound like fun at all. But I need to see somebody on a regular basis to get my medications.
Sorry this turned into a book. I'd love to hear if anyone has gone through this sort of decision-making before. I hear many people don't know they have FMS until after having children, but what about you?
The following user gives a hug of support to KeroKeroKero: caribear (07-24-2011)
hi kero,
welcome. there is no scientific proof of a genetic link with fibromyalgia. i am the only one in my family of 5 generations alive and my son does not have fibro. he is 33.
there is no cure for fibromyalgia yet. they still do not know what causes it. until they do there is no way to cure it; if it is cureable when they do figure it out.
to worry about passing on any gene to a child would stop us all from procreating. no matter how healthy you are the possibility of a child who has health issues is 50/50 due to latent genes that reside in you but may not be active. there are not guarantees of a healthy child. you just decide if it's worth the risk and can you handle what you get no matter what? it's a big decision and only you can make it. i did think of those things when i decided to bear a child. my family has other junk in it and so did the fathers family. i took the chance. my son is a special needs kid. ya know, i love him to bits. yes his life is difficult but he is finding his way and lives away from my home. he works doing live in health care.
there are times in his life when i do feel i was selfish in having him. there are also times when such joy comes into his life i regret nothing. he is glad i had him, giggle, most days. like his father he also deals with depression.
as for the doctor, well . . . personally i'd quit and buy my own. i would educate myself and use what i learned from this doc that makes sense. only you can decide your path.
peace,
bluelakelady
The Following User Says Thank You to bluelakelady For This Useful Post: KeroKeroKero (07-26-2011)
I am also the only one in my family with fibro. No parents or siblings have it. I do have a daughter, and I got pregnant when I had fibro. It was a tough pregancy for me due to the fibromyalgia. She is perfectly healthy. My doctor does not discourage getting pregnant.
I don't think you should worry about passing it along.
I worry how difficult it is to care for them when they arrive! Hope you make the best decision for you!
The Following User Says Thank You to chicabella For This Useful Post: KeroKeroKero (07-26-2011)
Bluelake, I appreciate your story. I also worry about Down's and other stuff because I am 37 already and I don't know if I could survive a pregnancy without meds...so I worry about the possible effects should I require medication. But I have to remember the development in a the hands of a higher power! Still making up my mind too about a baby.
The following user gives a hug of support to chicabella: KeroKeroKero (07-26-2011)
I have several cousins with FMS, and my deceased mother also suffered with FMS. It does have a genetic link. How does your husband feel about having a child considering you have been diagnosed with this condition? Have you thought about adoption or fostering? I'm not trying to discourage you at all. But there might be other irons in the fire you could consider.
Kirstee
The Following User Says Thank You to kirstee For This Useful Post: KeroKeroKero (07-26-2011)
Thanks everybody. My husband and I are going to talk more about this soon (it's hard to catch him with the hours he works, but that's for another thread!). When we got married he knew I had FMS and we still said we wanted to have kids anyway, though I'd like to adopt in addition to the child/children we have.
I can't seem to find it now, but I read one scholarly article that said they strongly believe there is a genetic component or perhaps predisposition to FMS. It said that it's more commen in women, and that the second child is more likely to get it than the first (I'm both female and the second child born to my mother). My mother has something similar to what I do, but she takes it easy a lot more often than I do. My brother has something like CFS, but I don't know if he's been officially diagnosed.
The conslusion I've come to is that, whether or not I continue this current treatment, I need to get a support system in place so that I won't be alone when I have the child. Even if this treatment miraculously works, I'll still need help when the baby is born, right?
Thank you all for helping me to think through this!
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: KeroKeroKero kirstee (07-28-2011), monalisa24 (07-26-2011)
hi,
wise of you to think of your support system. you will need it. i did it alone and many, many times wished there was someone to just be there for us.
i too have read many studies. when there is absolute proof i will consider my family very fortunate indeed. thankfully my son and niece are not reproducing. they are both in their 30's never married. be cool when science gets the genetic validation or invalidation for this possibility.
i do think it is very wise of you to be honestly thinking of the child first and not just what you want. very wise.
peace,
blue
Oh, I'm very much in the same place. I want a baby so much, I feel so ready, but I want to improve my health more first, not so much to endure pregnancy as to be well prepared for motherhood. The fibro is OK, the allergies and the digestive issues are a work in progress. Maybe next year, I'll try to have a baby.
A few thoughts about this so called doctor of yours:
1) There is no cure for FMS
2) Whether or not you are in remission at the time of the pregnancy has nothing to do with whether your child gets it.
Dump the quack and do your own experiments. Save the money to buy diapers.
I'd just like to point out that you don't get ANY sleep until they are about 3 years old. They take a LOT of energy...all the time. So you don't get your sleep as the parents and it makes the fibro worse.
My daughter is such a joy, but if she had a health issue or special need, it would be 100x worse. She is a good little girl and was a good baby. She brings me daily joy and every single day I am sooo happy to have her. She also knows I am sick (age 5) and rubs my back and legs to show me love. Makes me feel bad that she has a sick mama. I have made a decision not to allow my sickness to interfere with her upbringing...but I did have to allow her to watch TV while I rested more than I would have liked. Also, she had to eat more convenience food than I would have liked because I was too tired or in too much pain to cook. (But it's getting better since I'm not working now).
When she goes to her father's house overnight, I feel a big break to be able to sleep or rest or take care of myself. You do not get breaks with a baby!!!! Something to think about.
I am about to deliver my sixth child any day...2 of my triplets have special needs (severe autism). 3 are 6, one is 5, one is a year and about to have one now. All I can say is it is very very hard....but so very rewarding. My fibro kicks my butt...and children take a lot of work. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
I wouldn't not have children because of the fibro, but I WOULD try to get a good support system in place before...because you will need help and rest to keep the symptoms down. I was going through a divorce when I had my triplets, was a single mom, my fibro had just kicked in bad....it was a MESS. But like I said...I'd do it all over again!
-Jennifer
The following user gives a hug of support to Serathia: kirstee (07-28-2011)
I am about to deliver my sixth child any day...2 of my triplets have special needs (severe autism). 3 are 6, one is 5, one is a year and about to have one now. All I can say is it is very very hard....but so very rewarding. My fibro kicks my butt...and children take a lot of work. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
I wouldn't not have children because of the fibro, but I WOULD try to get a good support system in place before...because you will need help and rest to keep the symptoms down. I was going through a divorce when I had my triplets, was a single mom, my fibro had just kicked in bad....it was a MESS. But like I said...I'd do it all over again!
-Jennifer
Serathia:
I feel for your situation. I have an autistic "man" (he's 40 YO now). I have seen some studies that show autism shows up more in FMS. I can't vouch for that, but it makes one wonder at times. There are several FMS people amongst my living relatives, and two of us have children with autism. I'm not sure if the autism is what is being past down in the gene pool or if it is the FMS that is causing a predisposition to autism in children born to women with FMS. You take care, because the road will be rough with two special needs children, but I absolutely know that love will carry your through. Hugs and kisses to you. . .
I wasn't diagnosed with FMS when I had my kids. I am sure I had Fibro as far back as my teenage years, but had no idea what was wrong with me. My kids are 18, 14, and 12, and they haven't shown any symptoms. I have one brother that we think has it, but he hasn't been diagnosed. On my mom's side, there are several cousins that have it also.
A lot of women have relief of symptoms while they are pregnant, so that is a plus.
I can understand why you are hesitant about having kids, not wanting to pass it along to them. Just think though, your kid can grow up and maybe find a cure for it! If they do end up having FMS they will have you to guide them through and have a great support system.
Good luck with whatever you decide <<<Gentle Hugs>>>
I am going through the same thing do I have children or not??? My Fibro was Dx only this year in March. I have problely had it for years other then the pain. The pain can in Feb. I was lucky to have a great DR.
Now I am thinking Do I have children?? Can i care for a child every day by myself when my husband is at work? I spend most of my time in bed. or on the sofa as I cant do much myself. I have not found anything that works for the pain yet. So I am very limited to what I can do. I can only stand or walk for 10 or 15 min and I cant lift more then 10-15lbs. I am scard to have a child and take on to much but then I am scard to not try and be mad at my self for the rest of my life.
I know exactly what you mean...you don't want to look back and have regrets. But if you really can't get up off the sofa or bed, you should probably wait until you can get around. It's very hard for my young child to accept my limitations (the amount of time I need to rest). When they are tiny, you have no choice but to take care of them 24/7. When they are toddlers, they make healthy people exhausted. I am in the same boat! I would like a baby very much!!
I have to agree. It really doesn't sound like you are in a good position to care for a young child right now. Perhaps you can get stronger in a few years. Don't give up, I'm much better than I was a few years ago.
Last edited by janewhite1; 08-05-2011 at 10:44 PM.
