Much has been going on in my life. The man my son works for has died at age 90. Now my son has to go get a life and I am concerned for him. Lots of phone calls from him during this very emotional time for him.
Daughter jess has graves disease and her poor little eyes bulge out, especially the right one. It’s a heartbreaker to see. Took her to an endo last Tuesday in the city. She’s on the right meds now and we will know if it will help ease the eyes or not in about 3 months. She fears going blind. I told her I will be her guide doggy, just give me lots of treats!
Daughter jack had surgery last Thursday to remove a lesion from her breast. Thankfully no sign of cancer there, will know for sure next Wednesday. Taking her for a pet scan Monday and Wednesday to the doc for results. Hoping to celebrate “it isn’t back yet” day.
Thru all this of course fibro had to join the party. Duh! Worry = pain. My special friend has been sending me energy and hers is strong. It helps and the rest I can shove back and be there for my kids. I am getting days between to rest but the mind is a different story. A mother worries no matter how old her babies are or how much she meditates. Hey, I’ve been chanting like a mocking bird! Giggle.
I may be gone from time to time. No worries. I’ll be back. I am lurking but not speaking much. My mind is elsewhere.
Can I trade in this body for a bit? I promise to come back and get it! Giggle. If wishes were fishes. I’d be happy with a loaner fanny!
I'm sorry you're in pain and distress! My mom is worrying about me too and it affects her health. My fiance was laid off from work, after i just quit teaching. It all starts in the mind, so do what you know to do to re-center! Sending a hug!
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: chicabella bluelakelady (08-29-2011)
So sorry , I havent been on the net for a while , taking a peek at the board and reading your post just made me realise that I don't have the monopoly on worries , it's a mother thing for sure , when they hurt we hurt , my sons are healthy but their wives both have autoimmune diseases so of course when they are not well it affects all of us , I also worry about my youngest son trying to make it in the television industry and the cost of living in Toronto , it never ends it seems , all I know is that when things are going well for them I am happy no matter how bad the fibro gets , hence I can totally relate to your feelings .
I just want to say that I can feel your mother's heartful concerns and that I am sending you a warm embrace from one mom to another .
Hoping everything gets resolved to everyones satisfaction , if only we had a magic wand ! Your children have your love and devotion , no matter what happens in their lives , they have that blessing !
I do not express myself all that well in English but mothers have a universal language .
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to frenchwoman For This Useful Post: bluelakelady (08-29-2011)
it is morning right? giggle. yesterday was a mess. you know how when someone changes the plan on you it throws the whole day off? yea, that was me yesterday.
my bull headed, giggle, daughter jack decided she wanted to be alone and take herself to her pet scan. i knew i belonged there. i told her so, but no she wanted to be on her own, so being a good mom i said, cool do it your way.
but i had this feeling something would happen if i was not there and it did. her car would not start so she had to ride her bike there and it's hot out! 3 days after breast surgery and she had to ride her bike. i could have jumped in the car when i got the text from her but i did not. yea, that was hard. she is an adult and when she says butt out i do.
i must admit i laughed so hard when i read her text. mostly i was glad it was a small thing that happened and maybe she will learn from it. don't slap away a helping hand, you may just need it.
slept all day yesterday, nothing new there. changing plans messes me up. felt the mountain slipping over me and let it happen.
thank you for your sweet words ladies. being a mom is like sitting on a razor blade sometimes.
son is doing mostly good. the family is falling into vulture mode, not a pretty sight but i have seen it many times before in families. i suggested he get the heck out of there and get on with his life, his job is done. he is very close to one of the daughters and her son is a school chum of my sons. he stays for her. i think it is good that he is seeing this aspect of humans. tho not pretty, it does happen in some families. so sad.
jess is doing the same. it will take time for the meds to help her.
me? i'm tying my rope into a swing, i want to fly!
ps tomorrow we find out if the cancer is back.
Last edited by bluelakelady; 08-30-2011 at 07:54 AM.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: bluelakelady frenchwoman (08-30-2011), monalisa24 (08-30-2011)
These are the times when being a parent is soooo hard but you are doing a great job. I hope everything goes well for your kids. That alone will make you feel better. Their stress is your stress and with a fibro body, that is not good. Try to rest when you can. Feel better.
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tmrots For This Useful Post: bluelakelady (08-31-2011)
Worry=pain. How true, I have found. I have been worrying so much about getting on disability, moving my household to Ventura Cty., paying bills sitting here unopened. Sucking up all my pension money cause I haven't got my DB started. I sound like a whiner compared to Blue.
first things first, giggle, giggle, giggle. NO CANCER! i cried like a mommy does. i am so happy i don't care that my body is in hades right now. going for a fanny procedure this morning.
my son is doing better. getting excited about starting his life again. still chokes up when delbert is mentioned. he really loved him. he got a small RV and has no real future plans other than "owning his new home". it's cute. my son is a special needs kid and will always be 16 in many ways. he is so proud. i told him his home is magic because he can move it wherever he wants. he is more relaxed so i am more relaxed too.
tesse you are not a whiner you are a worrier. there is a huge difference. i seldom expend energy on worry, cause it's a waste of precious energy, but there are always going to be times when worry slips in. recently my brother and i were in the same position, our nest egg is gone but we have our home and that matters most. it's hard when finances are the biggie in your life. tho worry won't fix a thing it's hard not to go there when it comes to your security.
girl, nobody is like me, thank heavens! can you imagine 2 of me? yikes!! i am the odd duck, giggle, have been all my life in any group of friends. my mom says i am unique. giggle.
soon as jess is doing better i can shut down the merry go round of worry and relax. it moves more slowly now that there is only one person riding the horse.
in love and appreciation for the mountain of love, energy and prayer gifted to me.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: bluelakelady Glojer (09-01-2011), monalisa24 (09-01-2011)
The Following User Says Thank You to bluelakelady For This Useful Post: TessaAnne (09-02-2011)
Hey blue. Your son's developmental issues sound like my son. I really do not know what I would do if the family he lives with were to turn him out. Thankfully, the man and my son are like brothers so it seems to always work well for him. But he dreams of a wife, kids, his own home. Not sure if it will ever happen to him which can sadden my mother's heart. You know how moms are - always wanting the best thing for their kiddos.
I'm sending many healing thoughts and energy to you and your family situation . It can be kinda rough out there in the big world, but you are strong.
The following user gives a hug of support to kirstee: frenchwoman (09-01-2011)
my son also speaks of the desire to create a family. it's hard to hear the sadness in his voice, however, i am glad he has not reproduced and hope he never does. love and a wife, sure, sounds perfect to me also, but then i wonder. can he actually do all that on his own? he told me to kiss off at 18, but has lived with the family of a school chum since he left my home. moving home to mommy is not an option. i won't undermine his desire to be treated like an adult. i'm his mom, in some ways that'll never happen!
today i realized how to take my sons future without worry. just let go and say it's not my job. i did my part, it's his turn now. it works. got him off the worry-go-round and it makes him happier. me? i am more relaxed and laid back about it. well, a bit. hey, i will get there! giggle.
a bit dopey from the fanny needles so i am out of here for now. time to pass out. i feel goofy. i don't do dopey well, giggle. i'm funny but i am also dangerous to myself, giggle.
thats it for now, can't keep my eyes open.
The following user gives a hug of support to bluelakelady: monalisa24 (09-02-2011)
Blue, Have been away from the boards for a while. Reading your thread took me from Oh No to thank heavens in just a few minutes. Love the rush of the feelings racing. So happy things are good for Jack and will keep good thoughts for Jess. Do we ever stop worrying about our children....I don't think so. At least I don't, it is a genetic thing for me....giggle.....I come from a long line of worriers. It only shows the love we have for them....well....that's what I say anyway and I'm sticking to it.
Your children are lucky to have someone as 'unique' as you are to love and guide them and worry about them.
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Glojer For This Useful Post: bluelakelady (09-02-2011)
thanks girlfriend for your sweet words. i feel fortunate to have my brood. giggle. everything is back in balance so i am relaxing. it's fibro's turn now. got my fanny shots yesterday. she went in from the front this time. boy did that hurt! for some reason the anesthesia did not take so i felt it all. we get me back to the room and off i went to la la land for a few minutes. 3 more to go, oct., nov., and dec. oh and an mri of my spine, the whole thing this time. that's next friday.
today is chiro day. giggle, he's gonna have fun trying to bend brick! my wee body is in lock down. giggle. sunday is massage day! mind and body are very excited about that!
it feels so good to breath, to be able to meditate fully, and feel mostly okay. fibro discomfort, yea, whatever. i don't mind. my body served me well these past few weeks.
it's a beautiful moring. expecting to hit 97 today. good for the tomatoes!!
be kind to yourself dear wonderful friends.
peace and 3 hugs,
The following user gives a hug of support to bluelakelady: kirstee (09-07-2011)
thank you name sister.
glad you got some fun time away from life at home. where did you go?
things are okay with the kids, still a bit of worry but at least the first steps are taken for lee and jess. jack is off dancing her cancer free body around, giggle. nice to see her really smile. the shadow is always there but for now it is not so dark.
still reeling from the flare up, giggle. got hit hard and it looks like it's sticking around for a bit this time. i just go to my happy place and all is well.
found a new doctor and got off a med i did not like and back to one i know my body is in harmony with. getting my girley check, it's been over 4 years. new doc is a woman, easier to talk to. she upped my diuretic and i quit the bp med, yipee!! best of all i don't have to jump thru hoops again like we do with new doctors. same office as doc hanna so all my records are there.
time to stretch my sore ole fanny. glad you had some time away. glad you are back.
I am dancing for jack ! that cloud is something I had become all to familiar with, with my Mom. Sounds like you are on the way to shaking off the flare soon and found some satisfaction with the med dept.
We went north and met up with some old friends that live out of state and we hadn't seen in about 5 years. It was a great time and a pretty relaxing 2 weeks. Plus well timed, a heavy storm blew thru at home and the power was out for a week. The fridge was almost empty and the freezer had just a little bit in it so the losses were minimal. But we now have a sparkling clean fridge.
Off again in a week to do a family camp out with all the bros and sis in-laws, no kids, grandkids, no dogs just a bunch of crazy folks that somehow believe they are adults. should be a fun time to say bye to summer and usher in my favorite time of year... Autumn!!