I am a very independant woman who has always found a way to get stuff done, take care of my kids no matter the amount of pain I was in or the limits my body put on me. The past almost 3 months I feel like I have just declined and contnue to decline. For 20 years the pain has been mainly back, hip, neck, and hands. Past 10 yrs its been the aforementioned plus arms. The past 2 years add my feet to the mix.
Now the past 3 months add knees, ankles, elbows and legs. The muscle and joint pain have become very unmanageable. To do the stairs now is next to impossible, so is washing hair, getting dressed, grocery shopping and driving. To do laundry I have to go downstairs to do it and I have to go very very slowly and hang on to the walls for support which isnt very easy when your arms are hurting as well. Feel like I need a cane at times.
I have never had my muscles and joints hurt as bad as they have been..
Thanks for letting me rant.
The following user gives a hug of support to mom477: merri2 (04-06-2012)
I knew everyone here would understand. It has been frustrating that I have had to depend on my fiance and kids to do all the chores. Feel like I'm a burden. My kids have been taking advantage of the fact that I can't do much of anything right now.
Yes, you are definelty not alone
Unfortuetly the pain & fatigue on top of other issues is very tough emotionally... Like its not bad enough, it's emotionally draining also...
Lately the joint pain hurts so much, the discomfort is horrible. I've found that trying to nor use those joints at all seems to help...
Are your kids helping with chores? Mine each have one chore daily. So one will sweep the house, another will do the dishes, then my oldest will either clean the rabbit cage, litter boxes or give my youngest a bath (they like playing with bath paints). This helps sooo much! They also take turns letting the birds out in the morning & help stack wood, feed birds ect. With laundry they each have a basket. They put their basket of laundry by the washing machine. I wash & dry them then they carry their basket to their room & put them away themselves. Laundry is enough work with mine, hubby's & the baby's then bedding, towels, ect.
The problem I have is if I get busy making dinner I turn around & they'll have stuff all over... Like yesterday, my son made dough for his science fair project. So there was flour, dough & dirty dishes on the counter, floor, table, ect. Then the other 2 oldest will have their own projects going. I went to the shop last night to get out of the house & hang with hubby. I had our 2 yr old with me. When I came back into the shop, it was a mess... It's frustraiting... I make them clean them up, but such a pain to get them to do it right.
Anyhow, it sounds like you need help. You should have them taking their laundry down. 2 of them know how to run the washer & dryer so I have them do their own sometimes. Even if it's your laundry, have one carry it down & after you wash them, have the other carry them back up. Don't feel bad giving them more responsibility... They help dirty of the floors, dishes, laundry, ect.
Mine are 12, 9, 8 then 2. I gave them more responsibilities 2 yrs ago & glad I did.
Mine are 15,11,4, and 3. The 2 oldest have chores but they haven't been doing them fully which has been beyond frustrating. They have been not wanting to help me out but expect me to let em do whatever they want and get em stuff. That just doesnt fly with me at all. I talked to em both and said that things need to change and they need to do their chores fully and correctly and that its not my fault I'm always sick and disabled. I know it isnt easy for them either but as family we need to stick together. They do help with laundry and their younger siblings. I made a appt with my doc tomorrow
The following user gives a hug of support to mom477: merri2 (04-06-2012)
OMG! I'm ehxusted reading. Mom477, Tori I have to give it to you 2 and any other FM mom out there trying to run a family let alone a house while dealing with this crap. I have 1 grown kid and not sure what or how I'd of done dealing with kids and FM.
Mom, are you taking anything for relief or are you just suffering?. I resisted the scrpt thing for as long as I could and then desperation for relief crept in and that's when I started the cymbalta and flexeril and on occasion Tramadol. #years later and I now take the tramadol close to daily. It allows me to function somewhat closer to normal. Now I'm resisting going and taking anything stronger (because of my back, not the FM)
Yes I take Cymbalta and Tramadol. I have tried Flexeril and other muscle relaxers but they make me sleep way too much and soundly among other side affects that I can't take em. I get through everyday by the Grace of God. Lately nothing helps the pain at all. I use a neck brace when needed and a hand brace daily and started wearing a knee brace daily for the past 3 weeks
Sitting/laying in bed putting a heating pad on my joints. Seems to help a little bit. Gonna ask my doc if he could to a full blood draw to check my vitamin D levels and some other things. Have. him test for lupus just to rule it out as Ive never been tested for it. Figured why not since I havent been feeling "right" for months.
Not yet but eh why not?? My gut tells me something new is going on. Could be wrong. Back in 2008 I was told wbc and platelets were low but I never got anwsers why so get those checked as well. My Vit D levels have been fine but they may be low by how exhausted Ive been. Why not get tested for all of why.
Got blood work done today. Told my doc how my toes, ankles, feet, knees, hip, back, fingers have been hurting. What my legs feel like at night etc. He suggested do the whole arthritis panel to see if theres anything. So will see.
Thank You for the kind words woodswalker! I honestly think we are all strong & do everything we can. Having fibro cn make us feel so weak but when you look at the whole picture, it is hard on all of us & yet life still goes on & we manage.
Yesterday I over did it. I knew better but there was so much I needed to get done. So today I took a happy pill & using my bike now. I have to exercise. If I could lose some of this weight I know I'd feel better. Funny how I gained 40 pounds after the baby, ugh.
Anyhow, it I really hard getting family to clean up after themselves & do chores. Sometimes it feels like it would be easier if I did them myself. Course paying for it later isn't good...
One thing I have going for me... I never used to buy candy, pop or chips. I always trying to make sure we all eat healthy. But I've learned to slack on that which has actually been a good thing! My kids know junk food is junk. It's a treat.... So I'll tell them they can have a pop or something, after they do a chore. They can ride the quad or go to a friends house after chores, homework & rooms are clean. Yesterday they got a glass of chocolate milk when chores were done, sometimes coco lol For me bribery is a blessing! Lol I found it motivates them
We usually hatch birds to sell but it's to much for me. This year the whole family is pitching in. Kids will be cleaning which is the toughest of all. I told them I'd pay them, but thy said no. So, I told them that it can be a chore or a way to make $, but they will do it! Lol so they will get paid!
Anyhow, hopefully this gives you some ideas
Have you talked to them? Mine don't understand but I talk to them about it now, I explain I hurt. They have witnessed me in the bathroom throwing up many times which make it more really to them...
Even I your vitamin D is normal, it doesn't hurt to take D3 vitamins. I take 5000 iu 3 x a week. But we are in Oregon where it is haling outside right now... Lol
I feel like there is something more going on but don't know what. Havig all tests done have really helped so I could rule stuff out. I continue to see other doctors & hoping to find one that will really help... You don't have to settle on meds prescribed, doctors or anything.
You are doing great! Heading in the right direction & I have a feeling things are going to get better for you soon!
Well my oldest is gonna get a work permit and find a job. My kids get stuck with most of the stuff around the house and so I definately make sure they get free time. And they are kids so having em have a ton of responsibility gets to them as most of their friends dont have "sick" parents.
I agree we all have it tough and find ways to do things even if we pay for it afterwards. All part of adulthood/parenthood.
For the last 20 yrs I saw doc that wouldnt listen or do anything so for a long time I stopped trying. Then I saw a doc in Dec last year and he listened and voiced options that Ive wanted and no doc would do so its like Im paying catch up. I know i will get answers or be able to deal with it.