My aunt, whom I haven't seen in a year and have hardly talked to in a long time, has decided to try and fix my fibro. She sent me 2 long lectures around how I need to start eating gluten free and how it's not expensive (it really is, but she has money and doesn't have to worry about it) and it will fix me because it made her sister able to live a normal life. I should also go and get this random food test that costs $450 (which we can't afford) because it will change my life. The way she was telling me all this though was in a way that said "you know nothing, you haven't read anything, and she knows everything". it ****** me off so bad that it just automatically ruined my day. I've been so stressed for the past 2 weeks that my heart has been beating oddly (went to the hospital the other night, turns out my ventricle is beating before the atrium) and this just makes it worse. Then the cherry on the cake (not a big deal but it was because I was already so ****** off) was my fiance just barged in on me in the shower while I was in my chair, which makes me look all frumpy cause I have awful posture. Now we aren't speaking, pretty much, and I have no way to vent my feelings. I slept so poorly last night I hardly had the spoons to shower but my anger fueled me to do laundry and sweep.
I don't even know what to say to her. She sent me the "lectures" on ********.
*random angry noises*
__________________ Jenna 22
Heart Rhythm Issues
Maybe just try to ignore her. We are stuck with family. my family can set me off as fast as my ex can, so I try ( and try) the path of least resistence. That's how it goes on firsst offenses anyways. Bummer about the heart problem. I just got a diagnoses to bum me out, also. Sorry. Got to go low stress if possible.
say thank you and i love you. then do what you can afford to do. eating healthy is good. not sure you need to be drastic in changes, but i could be wrong.
get used to it and find a way to be gracious about it. clumsy as it was it was an attempt to help. remember when you read that how you feel is an aspect of how you interpret what you read.
my son drives me nuts with magic cures he heard of or read about or saw on t.v. giggle. i listen and thank him for caring enough to take the time. he always blasts me with, you GOTTA try this mom. he is a bit pushy but i understand.
i hope you choose a path of peace. anger is fibro's favorite dish and it loves you to be angry and unsettled. starve the brat!
Last edited by bluelakelady; 06-16-2012 at 06:39 AM.
You know, my mother went through a "fixing" period. She'd send me these advertisements for all sorts of scam treatments, you know how it goes. She got through it eventually.
Thing about electronic communication is that you didn't hear her voice or see her face, so you can't tell how she meant it. For now, assume she's just trying to be helpful, and ignore it. If she asks again, say, "Thank you for your advice, I'll consider it, but I'm on a different treatment plan right now." If she gets really insistent, then you might have to just leave her out for a while.
I'm usually one who is very slow to anger, so I didn't say anything then and I've calmed down about it now. The way she phrased everything was quite rude, which is why I got so upset, other wise I would have just said "thank you, I've thought about it and can't afford it right now" (which I had said already). I have a very close friend (I consider him a brother) that comes to me with stuff like that as well, but the way he does it is so much nicer so I say thank you and I'll look into it and see. Why do people assume that because one thing worked for someone else it'll fix everyone? With all illnesses a lot of people need different treatments to get better. *sigh*
Thanks for all the support guys, it means a lot!
__________________ Jenna 22
Heart Rhythm Issues
I am glad you have had time to calm down. You know she means well but her approach could have been more tactful. We have all experienced this issue at some level and how we react has more to do, I think, with how well we are at that time. When we allow these type of things to get under our skin, we can enter a downward spiral of anger at the person and followed by anger at ourselves for allowing ourselves to let it get to us. This can go on and on. As already suggested, thank her for her suggestions.
I would personally have a problem with this advice coming through ********. something as personal as offering help or advice on a persons medical condition should not be done through a public forum. An addendum to your thanking her for her suggestions might also include a request for any other help she might like to offer you would come in a more direct manner.
Then again it might be just me being touchy.
cerene, you have had some great advice here and I agree with all of it. I just want to put in my two cents. You can only get as upset as you allow your aunt or anyone to make you feel. That was a hard lesson for me to learn, not to allow others to ruin my day or put me in a bad mood etc. Since I spent years letting that happen before I came to my senses, you might say, I like to try to pass that along. It sure does make a difference in how you perceive what others are offering.