note: diagnosed with fibro by one rheumatologist; another rheumatologist says its not fibro and suspects MS; going to neurologist in a month; low vitamin D levels brought back up to nearly normal, but haven't noticed a difference in the way I feel; positive for EBV within the last six months, finally my most recent blood test says it's gone now, but lingering symptoms of extreme exhaustion and tiredness are sticking around; it's been about a year since rheumatologic symptoms appeared, and have been trying to figure out what's going on since then
I have been vomiting several times a week, out of nowhere, for a few months. Absolutely nothing precipitates it; I have even kept a journal trying to figure out anything that might be bringing it on...but nothing I can think of. I will vomit four or five times and then be back to normal. Tonight I felt the familiar feeling in my stomach that told me something was going to come back up soon, so I went to the bathroom, sat on the floor in front of the toilet, and waited for my stomach to convulse. I do NOTHING to try to bring the food back up; it is just forced up and out by my stomach, I guess. I threw up a few times (was in the bathroom for about five minutes) and when I came out my husband asked me if I was bulimic. EDIT: I don't understand why all of the sudden he asked if I was bulimic, because the vomiting has been an ongoing issue and I have never tried to hide it from him. He is aware that lately this happens several times a week, and has been aware of it since it started a few months ago. I promised him that I was not making myself vomit, and then he proceeded to ask, "then why are you vomiting?"
I have NO IDEA why I'm vomiting so often. I have NO IDEA why my left thigh burns like I used it to de-seed a serrano pepper. I DO NOT KNOW why my back hurts, why I have been losing my balance, why I have shooting pains up and down my legs randomly throughout the day, or why it hurts when something lightly touches my back or legs. This is basically what I told him, but I tried to do it in a nice, non-frustrated way. Last summer I had a spell of about two months when I was vomiting in the same manner. I remember being so frustrated and angry because each time it happened he would ask why I was doing it, as if he believed I could help it. Each time it happened I would tell him that I didn't know why I was throwing up, and he would respond by asking, "then why are you?"
Me: "It just happens. My stomach just brings it up."
Husband: "Then why don't you keep it down?"
I feel like this whole cycle of him accusing me of not trying hard to stop vomiting (at least this is what it feels like he is doing) is starting all over again. It is so hard to bear. I am in complete tears right now because I don't know I can get it through to him that I cannot help it, that I cannot prevent it from happening, and that my no matter how hard I try to keep everything in my stomach, there is some sort of physical mechanism that I cannot mentally control that makes it happen. It's like he thinks that my throwing up is a sort of failure on my part caused mental weakness, or something...It sounds so horrible and I hate myself for saying it, but I wish he would get the stomach flu or food poisoning for just long enough to GET IT. To realize that, sometimes, believe it or not, vomiting cannot be controlled.
Every single time it happens he asks "why did you throw up?" Tonight I told him that asking me that is the same as asking me why why my muscles hurt, or any of the other weird, painful, annoying, etc. bodily issues I have. He said that it was not the same at all, and proceeded to ask me what I threw up. I told him that I didn't know, I couldn't tell because it was all gross and mixed up, and probably partially digested by the acid in my stomach before it came back up all nasty and painful and mixed with bile. Yuck. This did not make him happy. He asked me, "then why did you do it?" For the love of HaShem, I did not "do it;" it happened, it happens often, I cannot control it, I cannot do anything about it. I wish I could prevent it. I wish I could make all of this go away, but it happens the same way all of the pains in my body happen. Apparently he wanted me to be able to visually identify one food amongst the vomit that would tell him what made me throw up. Did he decide that because nothing specific could be visually identified there wasn't any real reason? That I just decided to throw up?
He says that sometimes he gets stomach aches and it makes him feel better if he throws up, so he throws up. Then he wants to know why I "did it." Okay, whatever, I GET that some people force food back up when they feel sick and it makes them feel better, but this is NOT what I am doing. When people do that they make a DECISION to empty their stomachs. I do not DECIDE to throw up. How can he not understand this? How can he not realize that it JUST HAPPENS to me? I tell him that if I could stop I would, and that I hate it, and he asks, "then why don't you?" I CANNOT STOP IT!!! I cannot control it! I am so tired of feeling like I've done something wrong by throwing up when I have absolutely no control over it! I wish I could stop all of this and make it all go away and be a healthy, happy graduate student like I was three years ago. He understands that I can't control my muscle pain, joint pain, burning pain on my skin, headaches, etc., so why is it that he is convinced this is different? I do not want to hide anything from my husband, but I cannot go through this anymore. I just cannot do it. It hurts me so much. When I started crying about it he told me that he wasn't accusing me of anything, he just wanted to know why I was throwing up, but he doesn't understand that continually asking me why it's happening is basically his admission that he believes I am ultimately in control of it. I am not. I wish I was. I wish I could stop all of it and be normal and healthy again.
Please help me. Advice, anything. This is pushing me away from my husband, and he is really a very good man and the most loving, supportive person in the world, but there is just something strange about the vomiting issue. What can I do? Should I just start pretending I'm in the shower when I realize that I'm going to throw up to hide the sound? I don't know what else I can do.
Last edited by Frumgirl; 07-10-2012 at 10:38 AM.
Reason: to clarify an issue
Sounds really tough...........first things first on a really practical level have you been to the Dr to seek their advice - once your issue is diagnosed maybe it might be easier for your husband to understand?
i noticed you said your hubby is bulimic. he will always freak out and see red flags any time any one vomits. he will want you to have a reason for vomiting because that is how he understands it to be. for him there is a reason so it's almost impossible for him to see that sometimes puke is just puke.
i went thru several periods in the first decade of having fibro where i would vomit for no reason, lost the desire for food and eating was just a prelude to vomiting so why eat? it still happens once or twice a year.
if it freaks him out that badly quit telling him. if he hears you tell him he mistook a passage of gas for gagging. i'm like you, i hate to vomit and never could make myself upchuck. heck, i'd fight it till the last moment and then not make it to the loo. giggle. lucky mom and husband. now i make it, no one to clean it up for me. giggle.
To BlueLakeLady: Oh! I just re-read what I wrote and see how unclear I was in that sentence! My husband is not bulimic. I should have said something along the lines of "I don't understand why all of the sudden he asked if I was bulimic, because the vomiting has been an ongoing issue and I have never tried to hide it from him. He is aware that lately this happens several times a week, and has been aware of it since it started a few months ago."
SweetLife: Yes, I've been seeing various doctors for about a year now. It took months before I was able to see a rheumatologist; about 5 months for the second rheumatologist I saw, if I remember correctly. I will be so relieved once I have a diagnosis that stands with other doctors as well. My husband goes to the appointments with me and is able to help so much with providing the doctors with information I might have forgotten. I cannot figure out why he reacts so differently to me throwing up than he does to my other symptoms.
I just thought of something weird. I mentioned that last summer I was throwing up like as well. It stopped happening, and then all of the sudden when it gets really hot out I'm back to throwing up. I wonder if the heat has anything to do with it? I have extremely annoying problems with heat. Maybe this is just a new hot summer issue?
The following user gives a hug of support to Frumgirl: sjb (07-10-2012)
Greetings Frumgirl!! Here have a hug of comfort. I think I would want a health professional opinion on the reason for the vomiting very soon because the body needs nutrients. Vomiting can have the potential to cause electrolyte imbalances. Electrolyte imbalances can cause major muscle pain and cramps. I would not use the prepared drinks out there unless the professional says to do so because if one nutrient is high and the other low a drink might make it further out of balance. I might use vegetable juices with a small amount of salt daily just because these are made in the balance they were intended to have in the first place but I still would want an electrolyte check first from a blood test. When eating, the drier foods might be less likely to actually come up. I would not use much of the juices or liquids with meals, only in between meals. Cabbage might be healing to the stomach if there is something wrong with it.
The cause of the problem still needs to be found however. There are things such as food poisoning that can cause it with spoiled food or other things like something wrong with the lower stomach valve or in the cerebellum. Of course there are many other causes such as ulcers from H. pylori etc. I would not bother to hide it with a shower, he would probably hear it anyway and might just lose more trust and feel it is a try to hide it. I might go as far as allowing him to see that it comes up all by itself without any fingers so he is a bit more trustful that it is not being done on purpose, there might be a slight bit more sympathy that way also, since it is one thing to be sick and another thing altogether to make oneself sick on purpose. I hope the needed help is found soon.
I would mention the heat to the doctor and also try to keep cool with windows open a fan and sometimes perhaps a sponging a bit on the skin with a bit of pure soft water. One could also check to see if there is a fever.
Of course everyone makes their own health care decisions and is in charge of their own health care. I wish the best, Peace, sjb
Last edited by sjb; 07-10-2012 at 11:31 AM.
Reason: addition made
Yes, for most of us, vomiting is not a choice, and we'd stop it if we could!
Sometimes loved ones have a hard time dealing with ongoing illness. It frightens them, which means that, though it sounds unfair, you might have to make some allowances for his fear when you talk to him about it.
Of course, if he's bound and determined to be irrational, that's another matter.
The Following User Says Thank You to janewhite1 For This Useful Post: sjb (07-10-2012)
I understand what you're goig through. My husband is the type of guy who is always trying to help others. He's a great guy! Yet seems like I'm at the bottom of his priorities.
Unfortunetly men want to "fix" us & can't. So instead they unintentionally make things worst for us.
I have the vomiting also but it's usually during the cooler months & when I've over done it. Mine lasts a day even though flares always last longer. What works for me... Hard mint candy. I suck on them when I'm nauseous. It helps but will not prevent the vomiting. My pharmacist recommended it. I have anti nausea pulls but they do nothing for me. Also, Power Ade Zero! There is no calories or carbs. It have vitamin B, Magnesium, Potasium @ alittle sodium. This helps keep you hydrated. Talked to a Rhum about it recently & she was happy with it.
It doesn't take much for me to over do it during the colder months & send me into a flare. Unfortunetly I hurt so much all the time a flare is when I vomit, often will get a migrain like headache & pain is so bad meds don't touch it.
This time of year is better for me. I over do it allot but takes longer before I pay for it...
Even with vomiting, I can't lose weight. I'm like 50 pounds heavier than I should be & it sux. I can't lose it no matter if I exercise & eat healthy.
I'm always hearing my husband make comments on my weight. Usually he'll ask if I've lost weight. The other day he asked if I put more weight on. I have gained 5 pounds so now he comments on my pants being tight & stuff.
I'm always hearing about how boring I am, I'm no fun, I never want to do anything, ect.
I've had probs for 13 yrs but fibro pain the last 2 1/2 yrs. Before pain set in I was always tired, body felt tired, heavy & alittle sore. But I pushed myself. Always busy. Felt like if I stopped I couldn't get going again. But now I can't do much. I do my best & probably hurt all the time because I always do more than I should. I do rely on my pain meds now so I can get up & do stuff. But rather than him appreciating what I do, he constantly complains about what I can't do. This has really hurt our relationship & I've thought of divorce many times. I don't complain about hurting, exhausted, ect. But if I say I hurt, he makes sure to tell me how much more he hurts. Actually I hear that all the time. He also complains about how tired he is. I don't say anything cause I'm always tired & hurt & no matter why I couldnt possibly be as tired or sore as he is... When he's sick, he stays in bed & acts like he's dying. But no matter how awful I am, I'm still stuck taking care of our 4 kids while he goes & does his own thing.
The only time he understands that I have this disorder is when I am vomiting. That's the only time he takes it serious. Sometimes he gets it when I have the migrain like headache.
The thing is that no matter what, they are in denial & it takes time for them to get past that. Mine thinks it'll go away. I take him to see my doctors. I do have a dissociative condition which has nothing to do with fibro. So there is something else going on. Just haven't been able to figure out what it is.
I do wonder if your husband has fought with bulimia in the past or knew someone that did. There seems to be something he's not telling you & that's why he is so focused on it. But then maybe he is scared. You are sick & he's not able to help you.
Unfortunetly men are hard to understand.
I've done more than I should have te last few days. I hurt & restin right now. But I'm sure my hubby will be in the house soon & on my case trying to get me to do stuff. Unfortunetly I'm the one paying for it. Like you, I wish they could walk in our shoes for just a day. I want him to suffer & maybe he'd understand.
Anyhow, sorry so long. Just know you are not alone. I wish your husband could help you rather than make things worst. Mine has gOtten better over the years & hopefully yours will also
i get it now. sorry i misunderstood. i agree with sjb. please go to the doctor and find out why you are getting sick. suggestion, take electrolyte suppliments. i take the capsules.
hope you get feeling better soon.
It's my understanding that vomiting is part of fibro. It's just not a very common symptom. I thought at one time I might have MS because vomiting is a MS symptom. A friend has ms & fibro & my symptoms are very much like his. But so far no lesions were found on my MRI. Unfortunetly since vomiting is uncommon with fibro, non of my doctors have been any help. Let me know if you find any help & info about it
Have you check with a gastroenterologist at all? I'm having the same problem and they think I might have an ulcer from taking Celebrex. It could be just about anything, a good GI dr will be able to help. At the least they could give you some dissolving Zofran to stop the nausea and vomiting... that's what I've been taking since April until I see the GI in another week.
The Following User Says Thank You to waters04 For This Useful Post: sjb (07-12-2012)
Hi everyone, and thank you so much for all of your kind words.
Most people have suggested that I see a doc. about the vomiting problem; I've actually been seeing doctors about this since the fibro pain (if that's actually what it is...) started. It was one of my first issues. I've seen every doctor you can think of about it, including a gastroenterologist. No ulcer, no digestive problems, no acid problems, no etc. The rheumatologist who diagnosed me with fibro said that it was, as TheFarm commented, an uncommon symptom of fibro. The second rheumatologist (who does not think I have fibro) thinks that it might be a sign of MS. Guess I'll have to wait until I see the neurologist...
I have some nausea medication, but my problem isn't really with nausea so it doesn't do much. I don't throw up enough baruch hashem to be able to make good use of something like zofran. Like I said, it will usually just be a few minutes throwing up three-six times and then it won't happen again until the next day or few.
I really think it might be related to heat. We've had a horrible hot spell these past few weeks and I've noticed my joints feeling awful! It feels like it did before I started cymbalta! The only thing that really helps is doing yoga, but the weird thing is that I don't really feel better AFTER yoga...the only time the pain subsides is when I'm actually DOING the yoga. Wish I had the stamina to do it all day long
The following user gives a hug of support to Frumgirl: sjb (07-17-2012)
Greetings, sometimes people feel awful in their joints or elsewhere and they take a medicine to feel better with their joints and the medicine makes their stomachs hurt and throw up. Sometimes these medicines even perforate the stomach making a hole in it. I would avoid vinegar and spices, chemicals and alcohol.
For vomiting sometimes if food is with held for a few hours until hungry then water can be taken in, then if the water is held down some apples can be freshly juiced and drunk. If that is held down a little milk can be tried. 5 hours later or when hungry if that is held down a little soft applesauce and well cooked rice and toast can be tried. If that is held down 5 hours later the regular food can be tried. Sometimes dried oat or wheat crackers without baking soda can be held down easier.
Some things that also be good for appetite include lemons, rhubarb, pollen, sloeberry, olives, scurvy grass, horseradish, and papaya.
When and if the neurologist is seen I would want the cheapest Magnetic Resonance Imaging test available of the head and possibly spine in case something is there pressing on a stomach nerve. An eye ear nose throat doctor might also determine if there is an inner ear disorder causing the nausea. I think though in my opinion that the medicine taken can cause stomach pain big time as one of the side effects.
For joint pain hydrotherapy and avoidance of the nightshade family of plants may be useful as well as the lemon unless osteoporosis is a problem in my opinion. Of course everyone makes their own health care choices.
Last edited by sjb; 08-08-2012 at 11:24 AM.
Reason: additions made to change abbreviation per board policy